I wanted to maintain some momentum, so I waited until I saw site activity die down.
This isn't going to be a long blog.Basically this is what I've been up to:DepressionAddWatching Finn :)Not making gamesNot working on websitesNot playing games Staying up late to not achieve an y thingStaring at blank screensListening to a lot of musicBeing tiredDrivingMaking logos for frosty fourBeing poorHaving bills come out of nowhereYeah, I'm not in that good of a place and I can't work on my shitty zombie game and stuff is poop and junk.I'll probably be okay.I'll just spend the rest of my time thinking about the decisions I've made and how someone I respect summed me up pretty well:"I'm a pretty nice guy who allegedly makes videogames."I don't even know if that definition is going to change. Every time I get a good roll on school or working on personal projects, something comes along to kill my joy and will to actually live. I'm the closest thing to a zombie that someone can be right now. I don't do anything but moan and slump around looking for food to eat.Well. I guess I helped?
I can relate quite a lot, although I don't have money problems (just huge student loans). It feels like I'm in prison. And I keep missing classes because both physically and mentally I can't get out of bed.
Try and break your routine and do something different. Make a little schedule with things like "3pm work on programming/graphics/websites for 15 minutes", "4pm go for a walk/bike/run". Joining the gym helped me, although I missed last weekend because I was working on my game and now I feel like utter shit, but the positives outweigh the negatives.Force yourself to do 15-20 minutes of something at a time. Once you've started the activity, you might find yourself enjoying it and wanting to keep going, and then you don't need to force yourself anymore.…that was the idea behind make a blog day anyway.I've realized that I have ADD for sure. Not like everyone thinks they have it, but I am literally a flipflopping mess who both can't focus on two things at once but needs to be doing at least three things at the same time to maintain focus.
I can't remember important things or things I want to remember and my short term memory is terrible. I can remember things I don't care about, like facts and random information extremely quickly.Working out is something I've been trying, and failing, to add to my daily routine. I'm still trying to get in at least some cardio so I can be less fat. :PI wish I lived somewhere warmer than Ohio because we get like 4 good skating months max. I love skateboarding.And don't worry about it Steven, it's not a big deal and kindof true. LolI'm currently not going to an exam and standing out in the cold, standing on the giant rock in the middle of campus typing this on my phone. I hate college but I get a monthly check, not for long with these grades lol, thats approximately minimum wage just for going.I have so many fucking skills and if I just had a month of no interruptions I could make a decent game to jumpstart my cahsflow so I could just do yhat and skip school cause I dobt even ficking need.the shir and my fingers are frewzinf and I cant type so ill edit this later woth better spellingI lied. If I say I'm going to edit later, I'll probably forget. This time I just think it's funny and almost like poetry, in a sense, because you can see the accelerating thoights and feel my fingers freezing.
Also, let me know too, Moperguy. I don't want to take meds because a friend I used to have had ADHD and his meds made him MORE annoying.don't let them see you cry. let one lame thing be your focus and come back to your favs later with a giant boner