I'm absolutely going to follow a working schedule for Frosty Four Digits this time. Every day I'm going to spend a minimum of 15min on SOME part of the game. I have an idea, but I'm going to spend the first 3 days hashing out ideas and game plans. I didn't start early because, even though we had the theme two days early, I decided to not even think about F4D until it actually started (as a personal rule).

For a second, I contemplated actually making that game that I kind of started the last F4D I participated in (persistence) which would fit the them really fucking good but that feels cheap as shit and I don't want to do that.

My friends keep having parties and forgetting to invite me. One of the perks of being a young father, I guess.

Abbey got/is concerned a little bit because like… 4 of my friends girlfriends all started texting me at once on a regular basis. Mostly about problems with my friends, and I try to help. But I'm also talking to those friends at the same time. So I'm on my phone a lot. She gets mad. :P

I hate talking about shit going on in my life because it makes me want to delete the blog before I'm finished typing (like I've done probably a hundred times over the course of the past 7 or 8 years).

I have 12 programs that I have to write by tomorrow night. Procrastination is a bitch. But it's not even really procrastination. It's like… anxiety. I can't do it. Not because I don't have the skill - these programs are easy as shit. Dumb stuff like "load a text file with data and display said data and write/rewrite data" but… I don't know… I keep freaking out. I just need to get it done.

Puking is an option.

I'm not even drinking.

I wish I had egg nog.

These marshmallows are getting gross.

In the morning I'm going to eat so much bacon because we actually bought bacon when we went to the store today.

I keep fluctuating between unnecessarily confident in my skills and ideas and having unlimited drive to do ANYTHING, being borderline extremely depressed, and just feeling trapped due to stress.

Donald Glover, Kanye West, Seth Rogen, James Franco, & Tyler the Creator are inspirations to me. I don't give a damn about your opinion of them or their various arts, they inspire me as a human. If they want to do something, they fucking do it and push it to their limits of skill. I want to do everything, and it's a stupid goal, and I'm still going to push for it anyway because what is the purpose of life if you don't live it to it's fullest. I'm slowing work on FBF for now because the serious shit that fucked me up is too ingrained in my head and, since FBF was the biggest focus when it happened, it's kind of tied to it subconsciously I guess, and it makes it hard to work on it.

Right now, my main focus is going to be on school and F4D. I'll work on some songs and some beats while working on those things, but that'll be background stuff.

In case you didn't know, and want to find something funny to chuckle over, I'm a rapper/poet/singer. It sounds funny/stupid to hear come out of my mouth, but fuck it. I'll do what the fuck I want and fuck has become a regular word in my vocabulary and I hate it because cussing is the lack of creative manipulation of a language to get your point across by using easy multipurpose words that need no deep understanding or mastery of a language to throw around. I guess that's what depression does.

I wish I could hug Seth Rogen. He's my spirit animal.

Meh, I'm done with this garbage.

Edit: Shout out to Eva - I stole that nigga blog format, b

Edit 2: I'm also still talking to Juju about the European/African T-Shirts. Apparently there's been problems, of which I'm unclear, but I'm going to do my damnedest to fix it. As you know, I'm a young father and student, so I have no available funds to put towards it (I actually already put a bunch of my own money into it, and so did FSX) but the tariffs and stuff I'm assuming were more than anticipated. I paid like an extra $60-$80 for shipping overseas, which I thought were the international costs, but apparently Juju had more costs there, and I'm still trying to figure out WHAT went wrong and how. Anyway, the gist of the story is that if I ever do physical merch, I'm only going to do it within the USA, so nobody gets screwed. :P