Screw it all. I'm bored, so here goes.

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I was bored yesterday, there was nothing around the house to smash with my awesome new bicycle. I had instead resorted to eating the cushions, which tasted vaguely like pizza. Since I like cheese on my pizza, I put a load of mozzarella on the cushion and put it in the microwave. Unfortunately, the cushion had a metal zipper, so the microwave beeped at me in an explosion of cheese. Jarediah heard the explosion and was liek:

"ZOMG JAED, FIXXORZ TEH MIRCOWAEV OR I WELL CALL MY MUTHA!"

I couldn't have that, so I blasted him with my secret cream cheese gun and ran out of the house before he could get up.

So I hunted down my brother, Prometheist, and after telling him about the microwave and cream cheese incident, and then we proceeded to perform the legendary epic high-five. It was the high-five heard around the world, and we adopted it after seeing our uncle and mother do it a few weeks earlier, but we had improved it, so it would break any nearby refrigerators.

One guy came out of his house and was liek:

"THAT WAS YOU. YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!"

And he shook his fist at us as we used our jetpacks to escape.

Then we hunted down our friend RawrSpoon, who was busy prawning the noobs on Guitar Hero. So then we asked him if he'd like to come kill Jackal, masterkavar, and the rest of the 64D noob army before dinnertime, but RawrSpoon didn't have a weapon.

He finally decided to use his plastic Guitar Hero Les Paul controller to rock the 64Noobs brains out. Unfortunately, when RawrSpoon tested it, his dog died of tuberculosis mysteriously caused by the fake factory plastic and flashy colors in the guitar. But we didn't care.

We then proceeded to find Zane, the only last one who could stop the 64Noobs. He decided to get his best friend Polystyrene Man, who was busy judging a music contest. Zane then got his other best friends, Obel, Aster, and BUBZ (because we all know Zane is schizophrenic) and we flew to the middle of nowhere to find out where the 64Noobs were.

Zane immediately resorted to his side special attack, and he screamed "PINEAPPLE GET!" and skipped the airplane tickets and Canada and the ice. Then we noticed DesertFox digging a burrow.

Polystyrene Man was smart. "That's not DesertFox! That's Jackal!"

We were lucky. Polystyrene Man had gone to school and the rest of us couldn't tell between a jackal and fox. RawrSpoon immediately jammed on his guitar to see if it was really DesertFox, and its ears fell off. Then we all concluded:

"That can't be DesertFox. His blue ears are teh sexeh and are invulnerable to any attack! They even have special healing powers."

We commenced attacking the sorry little jackal, and masterkavar came out and attacked us.

"ZOMG LOSERS. SLEEPINGJOHNNYFISH WILL BE JOHNNY SLEEPING WITH THE FISHIES."

When Jackal agreed, we convinced them that SJF had no "G" in his name, and then Obel shot both of them with his lazors. Aster ripped out their intestines and painted his name with their blood, and we sat back and watched.

Polystyrene man had another idea. "POPCORN EAT. And a large bag of popcorn appeared next to us and we ate it. But of course, the silly 64Noobs stole it, so then we proceeded to chop off their middle fingers until they surrendered.

It was a well-fought victory and we finished the popcorn. Then we all went home and had no lives. The end.