Posted by ESA on Oct. 3, 2008, 9:40 a.m.

Public Transportation…

It's like the world's body odor and halitosis shoved into a tiny moving can with hundreds of short people that need to be pushed. Still, it gets you places

The Chair-Maker…

As far as I know, there wasn't a soul who knew this fellow's name. He practiced the fine art of chair-making in a manner similar to a luthier carving the body of a guitar or performing reparations. His hands: rough, cracked and calloused things they were. Time-worn and experienced, they could craft these magnificent things even when he faced the disadvantage of blindness after his friend's alchemy experiment went wrong

The Blind Watch-Maker…

had a keen interest in alchemy before he (and a friend) ended up blind when an experiment took a wrong turn. You see, this watch-maker had a love for money and all things valuable. He was a materialistic miserly old fool until he forfeit a sense for a desire that had blinded him in the first place. For years he strived to turn the cabbage that grew on the hills around him into pure gold. He came so close. Alas, fate frowned, hence his loss

Cabbage…

was what the blind watch-maker began to depend upon. The advent of his blindness had left him penniless, since he was not able to continue his livelyhood. He began a frugal life, living upon cabbage soup flavored with the bitterest of horseradish and the sourest of shitweed

Shitweed…

Lemongrass > Shitweed

Tom yum soup…

Spicy and shrimpy

Comments

s 16 years, 1 month ago

Nobody ever said travel was easy

Cesque 16 years, 1 month ago

Don't forget all the chavvy preteens with loud cell phones, playing their most shitty "tunes" for all to hear.

ESA 16 years, 1 month ago

lmao yes!

F1ak3r 16 years, 1 month ago

It's especially bad here in South Africa, where the most substantial public transportation we have is the taxi service, which involves 50 people being stuffed in a decreipt old 20-seater van that's held together with tape and has a wrench instead of a steering wheel.

And let's not forget the drivers' strange beliefs and practices:

1. If someone has been waiting at the taxi-rank for a taxi, and then they change their mind and go away, the driver will drag them back and shove them on the taxi, even if they pay the fee for the trip they weren't going to take.

2. If the total fees are lower than they should be, even by something as pitiful as 50 cents, the driver will stop the taxi and demand that the cheapskate owns up. Then, once that person owns up, or someone else gives the driver 50c, the driver will take the taxi back to the nearest rank, and have an impromptu court session.

3. Whether you're in a hurry or not, the driver will only leave once his taxi is full.

s 16 years, 1 month ago

This is why we have bikes

The alchemy experiment failed to make one grow a third eye, instead making one have an unquenchable thirst for eyeballs

F1ak3r 16 years, 1 month ago

Now do that association thing with chair-makers and public transport.

ESA 16 years, 1 month ago

public transportation

subway network

tunnels

miner

coal

black lung

doctor

waiting room

chair

chair-maker

wood

trees

growth

time

watch

watch-maker

gears

rotary motion

physics

science

biology

plants

vegetables

cabbage

s 16 years, 1 month ago

Shitweed isn't that bad, tastes like sour candy

F1ak3r 16 years, 1 month ago

I love how this blog evolves. Keep the awesome up.

ESA 16 years, 1 month ago

I never said shitweed was bad. Sour things taste good, like sucking on lemons. Beware enamel!