Quotes from the book Deep Thought, By Jack Handey:
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they dont want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like thay just woke up and go, "What was that?!" Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions" and if you got a different "impression," so what, cant we all be brothers?
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland but instead i took him to an old burned-out ware house. "Oh-no." I said, "Disneyland burned down."
He cried and cried, but i think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to take him over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late…
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldnt you? You'd be wrong though. Its Hambone.
Some more Deep Thought.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea. Whenever I see and old lady slip and fall on a wet side-walk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
yeah, anyways while your at it you should check out this game i made because it wasnt able to be posted on the recent list.
Some Screen Shots
yes that is TINKY WINKY with an axe inside of him.
- Got Rice?
That's deep.
isnt it?
hahaaa, i know man, that book is hilarious by the way.
@Mast3rmind I agree with you that was the funniest thing I have seen in a blog in a long time. =P
Jack Handy is the best! Just do a search for him, and you can find loads of his stuff.