I think the whole genre is silly as shit. So logically I'm going to write one. Here it goes.

My Erotica - Part 1

By Extravisual

Ronnica was leaning on her car. She was waiting for her date, who was now 30 minutes late. She felt her legs getting sore, so she sat in the car. Her date had never been late before, so she didn't want to give up on him. She tried calling his cellphone, but it went straight to voice mail.

"Ugh," She mumbled to herself, "where on earth could he be?"

Just then, a gorgeous guy walked past. He had short curly hair, a square jaw, and an amazing body. Ronnica's vagina was instantly soaking wet. She climbed out of the car, and called to the guy. He turned around.

"What do you want?" He asked. His voice was deep and sexy.

"I think the question is, what do YOU want?" She replied, winking at him.

"I'm sorry?" He looked bewildered. She gave him another wink.

"Wanna get into the back seat of this car and see how fast she goes?"

"Um, I'm gay, sorry. I'll just be going now."

Ronnica watched, disappointed, as he left. He was just so hot.

"Oh well," she thought, "I guess I'll just wait for my date to arrive."

She turned around to go back to her car, but it was gone. She stared for a moment, confused. Somebody must have stolen it. Just then she heard a loud voice behind her.

"Ronnica," it said, "I have come for you."

She spun around. There was her car, standing upright. Its drive shaft was erect and pointing at her. It must have been 14 feet long.

"What…. You're my car…" she stammered.

"Yes. I am your car. It is time for you to make my babies."

It grabbed her, twisted her around, and pulled off her pants…….

Edit: Oh yeah and it's sorta based on a true story.

My Erotica - Part 2

By Flip

Ronnica, thinking quickly, pulled out her rape whistle and blew it with all her might. Almost instantly, Ronnica's original thing that she was gonna blow with all her might showed up. Her boyfriend.

It was a fight to the death. Ronnica's boyfriend took out his Pistol-Blaster 9000 and used his un-natural trigger finger and fired. Unfortunately, his accuracy was on the low side, missing every shot. His turn was over.

It was the car's turn. It used it's drive shaft to smack Ronnica's boyfriend in the face, and then it kicked him in the weak spot. His vagina. (Ouch.)

Ronnica's boyfriend hasn't given up yet. He took off his shirt, to reveal a penis in the middle of his chest. It was 20 feet long, and was hard as a diamond. He did a little shimmy, knocking the hunk of metal upside down. The lights turned off, and the drive shaft shrunk back to normal size. Ronnica's boyfriend wins!

Ronnica ran up to her boyfriend and hugged him. And then they walked off in happiness.

But just behind them, the car's lights turned back on.

My Erotica - Part 3

By Extravisual

The car became conscious and saw Ronnica and her boyfriend walking away. He lugged himself into car position, feeling very ashamed. He was sitting there for no more than a minute before a police car showed up.

"Mr. Car," The police car said, "You are under arrest for attempted rape of a human."

Mr. Car turned on his engine. He was a faster model than the police car, he could totally outrun them. In a flash he headed towards the the street, just to be cut off by police cars at the head of the parking lot. He skidded to a halt.

"Dammit!" He exclaimed.

"That's it sir, now you are guilty of resisting arrest. Come quietly or I'll see you end up on the side of the road in the middle of Cowboyland with a stolen engine, and three bashed out windows."

Mr. Car came quietly. Two weeks later, he was in the impound. It was a particularly large impound, Mr. Car was scared. He saw two large black semi trucks driving towards him. One had mudflaps that said "Mom" on them, the other's said "Bubba."

"Oh I see we got ourselves some fresh steel." Bubba said.

"We like love steel, don't we." The other one said. Mr. Car could see his drive shaft becoming erect. "If you don't struggle, we'll make this as painless as possible…."