I'm going to get a new therapist. Things used to be that I could always come here to my friends who weren't real and ask them for help, but then those friends turned real and now I care about each and every opinion from them. So I can't ask for help, not here. It has to be someone I don't know, someone with a degree. My school has therapists, and I'll start my weekly visits again. This isn't 64depression, it's been going on for years, I just could never get the words out. I took a count today, in all my notebooks and google docs, and I've attempted to write a blog about it 17 times. I always stopped because I felt afraid. My last therapist told me to stop over thinking, but never told me how. It's all I do and I spend each day thinking every person I know hates me. And that isn't even what I want to write about, but my fucking fear of people makes it so hard. I'm sorry for everything.I don't know if you did these things purposely or with bad intent, but it made me feel like shit. And I know it shouldn't, I shouldn't think that, I shouldn't feel that. And that is what I need to work on.