Dear Mrs [REDACTED],

You may already know this, but in case Alex has neglected to tell you, I am assigning him to detention for one hour this Friday, June 8th. The reason is as follows:

Alex consistently defied me. During class he contradicted me numerous times when I insisted that any iPod was inherently superior to any Sandisk MP3 player of equal size. Every other student in class accepted my lesson without argument, based on my reasoning that more expensive things are always better. But your son refused to believe what I told him, offering such rebuttals as, “You’re lying to the classâ€? and “My Sandisk 1 GB MP3/WMA Player cost me a fraction of what your iPod Shuffle cost you, and I can choose which songs I want to listen toâ€?, and commanding other students to challenge my curriculum.

Although he was correct, Alex’s actions show a blatant disregard for authority, and a complete lack of respect for his corporate masters. In the future, Alex would be better off simply obeying television commercials without resistance.

Please see to it that your son understands this. If necessary, increase his allowance so that he may purchase a more expensive, establishment-approved digital music player. Anything less is tantamount to child abuse.

Regards,

Adam Hilliker