It's Christmas break, and normally I'd feel relatively happy right now. This year, though, what little holiday spirit I ever had is totally dead. As I get older, life just seems more and more meaningless, and I feel stuck in a circle, almost like I'm living someone else's life. Some days I wonder what's keeping me from just leaving everything that I'm traditionally told to strive for behind- school, a job- and not even trying to be any kind of success. The answer- I'm too afraid of the consequences to even dare. I know the world's current values are very mixed up, but I'm too afraid to try to do anything about it. The things I want to do I can't ever seem to, so I'm stuck wasting day after day. I guess it's not so much that my life seems to lack meaning, but that I have no idea what it is. It's frustrating.
In any case, I didn't mean to rant like this. Oh, and if you think I'm 'emo' for honestly expressing my emotions, then you can go ahead and call me that. I don't really care.Unfortunately, things aren't much better in terms of game making, either. All of my best ideas I can't seem to manage to translate into an actual game, which I suppose is another cause of my general frustration with life. I've started working on a mini-project to release on Christmas Eve that might turn out okay. It's completely in grayscale (which I guess is sort of fitting considering the way I feel) and it's sort of an action-exploration thing. We'll see how that goes. Maybe I should go back to writing as my main form of creative expression. I'm better at that.In other news, I've been made a moderator in addition to being a reviewer on GMG. If you have an account there, watch your mouth.Farewell, and Merry Christmas.
I feel exactly like you describe in the first paragraph. It's feels like a hole in your chest.
Feel better. Happy holidays.Hm. Have you recently lost a friend or something? It might be depression, it might not, but it doesn't sound like a good thing. Try talking to your friends about it sometimes, that helps out when you feel kind of sad. I know life is a circle, but it doesn't matter to me, I want to live it while I can and enjoy it even if I die in the end! Cuz 'tis the season to be joyful too, so cheer up!
Enjoy it while it lasts, and merry christmas!I dont really have any holiday spirit this year =/
Me neither.
Oh wait, I never do.I haven't lost a friend. I think I might be bipolar or something, because I have these colossal mood swings all the time.
Unfortunately I find the lack of any kind of concrete meaning in my hollow existence to be a little difficult to ignore.Arcalyth- thanks.I know exactly how you feel mate. :/
The only thing that you can really do is just get on with life.Hope you feel better soon.It's easy to say that, but living by it is a lot harder.
I've been a-working on my little project. At this rate I might actually have something to release within the next couple days. Woo.Hey, I felt the same for like 4 months, but I think that is because my best friend just had surgery and havnt seen him in a while so I get kinda bored a lot. It makes you realize how much value friends can be. Hope you feel better,
-superdevon4