That Creepy Christmas Feeling

It doesn't feel like Christmas right now (or, if that offends you, "Winter", though that just wouldn't be true). I mean, obviously, it isn't Christmas yet, but normally I have a good feeling around this time. Every year of my life. This year, I just don't. I mean, I'm looking forward to getting new stuff, as selfish as that might sound, but there's this sweet, warm expansive feeling of goodwill toward men that I normally get, and it's not there.

I'm pretty sure I know why. I'll be honest: I hate change. For the first time in my life, my family (not my immediate family, fortunately) is starting to fall apart. But I don't want to talk about that. And one of my only (possibly my only, period) close friends is moving away in January. But I don't want to talk about that either.

Changing the Subject

However, things are not going entirely badly. I've written quite a few songs, still minus lyrics for the most part, but that's improving too. Yesterday I found out that one of my songs, which feels pretty normal in length if a bit on the long side when I just play it, is actually something like 9 minutes long. I think many of the songs, assuming I actually record this thing, will be very long.

I also have some not entirely/not at all serious musical attempts that I might post online somewhere, sometime, since I'll probably never do anything else with them. Stay tuned for that.

I thought I'd make a game for Christmas, but I didn't. I guess I don't really feel like making games much anymore. I hope that will change, because everything else is changing, so I don't see why it shouldn't.

Merry Christmas.