64Digits

FEAR THE ANAL CUNT LYRICS.

THE DOLPHIN'S IN THE JACUSSI

I WANNA GET A CREDITCARD

AND, AH I'M GONNA BUY A STEREO AT CAMBRIDGE SOUNDWORKS

I WAS LOOKING AT MY ASS THIS MORNING

YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN OF THE CLOTH

SHUT THE FUCK UP

SHUT THE FUCK UP, MIKE

SHUT THE FUCK UP

SHUT THE FUCK UP, MIKE

MIKE MAHAN, SHUT THE FUCK UP

2. Art Fag

HE LISTENS TO THE FUCKING SMITHS

HE'S GOT A MUSTACHE

HE WEARS A TRENCHCOAT

HE'S GOT A MUSTACHE

HE WEARS BLACK TIGHTS

HE WRITES POETRY

HE WEARS BLACK LIPSTICK

UNDER HIS MUSTACHE

HE'S GOT A ROLLERCOASTER HAIRCUT

HE DYES IT JET BLACK

WHEN HIS HAIR IS REALLY BROWN

JUST LIKE HIS MUSTACHE

HE WANTS TO BE ROBERT SMITH

BUT WITH A MUSTACHE

HE'S A FUCKING ART FAG

HE'S GOT A MUSTACHE

Howard is Bald [2x]

YIIIIEEEEEEEEE

Howard is Bald! - BALD BALD BALD B-A-L

Howard is Bald! - BALD

Bald, he's bald

Howard is Bald!

Howard is bald [7x]

Howard is bald, bald

Howard is bald [2x]

Howard is bald, bald BAAAAAAAALLLLLLDDDD!!!!

Howard is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaald

YIIIIIIEEEEEEEE

Howard is bald - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

Howard is bald [3x]

Howard is bald, bald, bald, bald, HOWARD IS BALD!

Howard is bald

I'm telling ya, he's got no fucking hair

B-A-L-D, Howard is bald [2x]

Howard is bald! - BALD BALD BALD B-A-L

Howard is bald! - BALD

Bald to the bone [2x]

I'm telling you baby - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

Howard is bald [2x]

Bald [3x]

Howard is baaaaaaaald [5x]

2. Bald To The Bone

I know this guy named Howard,

and he's bald.

And he's got a goatie,

but not on his head.

He's a really bald guy,

bald as bald can get.

And I will tell ya, Howard Wulkan,

is bald to the bone.

B-b-b-b-b-b-b bald,

b-b-b-b-b bald,

b-b-b-b-b-b bald.

Bald to the bone.

3. A Conversation With Howard Wulkan

Hey Tim, lets go talk to Howard.

Yeah that's a good idea.

Hey Howard, how are you doing?

Yeah Howard.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

You guys are crazy man!

Hey Howard, i was breathing oxigen today.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Howard, i was wondering if you had like, that Napalm Death album?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, you guys are insane!

You guys are crazy!

Hey Howard, I was walking on the sidewalk today.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hey Howard, I was wondering, you know like,

you like have a pencil or something?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

4. Ballad Of Baldness

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Howard Wulkan is bald.

He's got no hair on his head,

because he's bald.

5. Howard Wulkan Is Bald (Acoustic & Jazz Versions)

I know this guy named Howard.

HE'S FUCKING BALD!

6. Night On Bald Moutain

Howard Wulkan [5x]

B-A-L-D BALD! (start on 3th time of above)

Howard Wulkan [5x]

B-A-L-D BALD! (start on 3th time of above)

Howard Wulkan [2x]

Howard Wulkin's bald, he's bald.

Howard is bald.

Howard is bald, BALD, BALD!

7. You Should Be Balding

Hey who's that bald guy walking down the street?

It's Howard.

Ow yeah!

His name is Howard Wulkan, yeah-yeah.

And his head's really shiny, yeah.

If he is only balding,

he's balding really bad, yeah-yeah.

Howard Wulkan's bald, yeah.

BAAAAAAAAAAAALD.

Howard Wulkan's bald, yeah, BALD BALD BALD BALD.

You should be balding, yeah. [2x]

8. If I Can't Have Hair

If I can't have hair, I don't want no rubbing baby. (not sure about rubbing)

If I can't have hair, AHA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, NOOOO.

If I can't have hair, I don't want no implants baby.

If I can't have hair, AHA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, YEAH!

9. Howard Wulkan (Wesley Willis Version)

I know this guy named Howard Wulkan,

he is really bald.

He has no hair on his head,

that's because he's bald.

Howard Wulkan [4x]

He be working at ………. (inaudible)

He used to work some place else.

He looks like that guy from ……….

and he's bald.

Howard Wulkan [4x]

That man is really bald,

He looks like ……….

He could really shave his head off.

ROCK ON BROTHER!

Howard Wulkan [4x]

………….

I'm not only the hairclub president,

I'm also client

1. It, You're A Metal Band

you're not fucking hardcore, you're not avant garde

you're not punk rock, you're just a fucking retard

you're not something special, you're not something new

you're not fucking good, face it you're a metal band

2. Punching Joe Bonni's Face In

in all your reviews you always talk about yourself

no one really cares how drunk or high you are

you always write about the dumbest fucking bands

it figures you live in allston

you try and take over everything you're involved in

you started a new column because your camera got broken

are you gonna start a new column when i punch your face in?

3. Kill Women

kill women - die

bitch

[repeat]

4. Steroids Guy

[SETH never got around to writing lyrics for this, but the chorus is:]

his mustache is big-but his muscles are bigger

his mustache is big-but his penis is smaller

5. Everyone In Allston Should Be Killed

everyone in allston should be killed

that fucking faggot with the gaytee

that loser payphone junkie

that fucking fag, joe bonni

everyone in toxic narcotic

6. I Noticed That You're Gay

i saw you buying a pearl jam record,and i noticed that you're gay

i saw you hanging around in allston,and i noticed that you're gay

i saw you riding around on your rollerblades,and i noticed that you're gay

i saw you getting your tongue pierced,and i noticed that you're gay

i heard you spend all day on the internet,and i noticed that you're gay

i saw you drinking a frappucino,and i noticed that you're gay

i saw you wearing a fucking tree shirt,and i noticed that you're gay

you've got a tribal tattoo, and i noticed that you're gay

7. Dead, Gay And Dropped

shannon hoon,you're dead,kurt cobain,you're dead,jerry garcia,you're dead

elton john,you're gay,joe bonni,you're gay,jm j bullock,you're gay

bolt thrower,you're dropped,suffocation,you're dropped,napalm death,you're

dropped

you're deader than sharon tate and her baby,you've swallowed more cum than

rod stewart,you've sold less records than old lady drivers,you're dead,you're

gay,you're dropped

pedro zamora,you're dead,freddie mercury,you're dead,mr. jessup,you're dead

michael stipe,you're gay,quentin crisp,you're gay,fred schneider,you're gay

sacred reich,you're dropped,cathedral,you're dropped,immolation,you're

dropped

you're deader than rock hudson and liberace,you've swallowed more cum than

truman capote,you've sold less records than candiru and dead world,you're

dead,you're gay,you're dropped.

8. You Look Divorced

you look divorced [x2]

you've got that mopy look on your face,you're 3 months behind on your alimony

payments

you're pissed off,you're ex married someone new,and you're also pissed of

because he's a fucking jew

[chorus:]

you look divorced [x4]

you sit in a bar,you're always pissed

you're number 4 on the deadbeat dad list

you're fired from your job because you're a fucking drunk

you'll never get her back because you're a fucking loser

[chorus]

9. I Hope You Get Deported

first you fucked a nigger you ugly fucking whore

ran out of men in canada and came here for more

you could shower all your life and you'd never get clean

because you fucked someone that wore afro-sheen

[chorus:]

i hope you get deported,you make me sick,i hope you get deported,you sucked a

nigger's dick

you've got no life and you talk to your pets

i hate you so much i wan't to call the i.n.s.

you work at a snack bar and your father pays your rent

over the border's where i hope you get sent

[chorus]

10. Mike Mahan Has Gingivitis

mike mahan has gingivitis [x4]

mike mahan [x4]

11. Trapped

12. You're A Fucking Cunt

you're fucking annoying and your band fucking sucks

your boyfriend's an idiot and you're a fucking cunt

you think you're so important an wan't everyone to suck up

i hope you o.d. and die real soon cuz you're a fucking cunt

15 year kids don't care about animal's and women's rights

but you force it down thier throats,cuz you're a fucking cunt

your writing's about as interesting as allen funt's

i hope you die,cuz you're a fucking cunt

you're,a,fucking,cunt

[repeat first 4 lines]

you're a fucking cunt [x4]

13. Phyllis Is An Old Annoying Cunt

you're a fucking cunt,you're old and dried up

you're a crusty old bitch, i hope you fucking die

you're an ugly bitch,you make me fucking sick

you're big fucking mouth,i'm sick of hearing it

[repeat first 2 lines]

14. A1 Stankus Is Always On The Phone With His Bookie

al stankus is always on the phone with his bookie

he's on the phone to puerto rico

he's on the phone to the dominican republic

he's always gambeling on college football games

he buys cards from tom lehman

al stankus is always on the phone with his bookie

he's on the phone to puerto rico

he's on the phone to the dominican republic

he's always gambeling on college football games

he buys cards from tom lehman

15. Bill Scott's Dumb

[chorus:]

bill scott's dumb [x4]

you were brought up in a nudist colony

and you're also adopted too

you wear those gay pink shorts

and your dog shits all over the floor

[chorus]

you,fell down the stairs,and your dog,licked your balls

you,have an awesome job,but you're,always broke

your girlfriend is ugly,your mustache is gay,your dog's fucking stupid,and

bill scott's dumb

16. Harvey Korman Is Gay

harvey korman is gay

17. You Fucking Break

you've got a fucking cleft palate-palate

and hair just like gene shalit-shalit

i wan't to hit you with a mallet

your teeth are parted to the side-side

you've got a lazy eye-eye

why don't you fucking hide

you're bowllegged and walk around like ray-ray

and skin just like m.j.-j

and you're so fucking gay

you hang around at barca's spa-spa

with a nose like jamie farr-farr

i wan't to hit you with my car

you fucking freak

18. Theme From Three Company

watch the t.v. show

19. Jeanine Jizm Is A Freak

[chorus:]

jeanine jizm is a freak

Seth never wrote lyrics for the verses. on one of the verses HE sang lyrics

from a "slinky" commercial. the other verse HE sang lyrics from a "barrelhead

root beer" commercial. during the slow part, HE just screamed stuff.

20. Everyone In Anal Cunt Is Dumb

is that scott and tim,or gilbert and lewis

i let them in the band,didn't know that they'd screw us

mike mahan had no brains,tim has no spine

fred's a fucking asshole,and paul would always whine

first we had a spic,a pollack,and a geek

who'll play guitar for anal cunt next week

seth's an alcoholic,tim can't play drums

everyone in anal cunt is dumb

fred had his hair in those stupid fucking braids

tim has a kid,but he never gets laid

john dyed his hair,so we kicked him out of the band

scott's got a dumb tattoo on his hand

21. I Just Saw The Gayest Guy On Earth

he hangs around in allston,he always wears a tree shirt

his favorite band is roadsaw,he hangs out at the model cafe

he hangs out with toxic narcotic,he's got a tribal tattoo

his best friend is joe bonni,he's got his eyebrow pierced

he has purple dreadlocks,he works at herrell's ice cream

he wears an "allston rock city" t-shirt,i hope you fucking die

22. Johnny Violent Getting His Ann Kicked By Morrisey

johnny violent's fucking gay [x3]

ultraviolence fucking sucks [x3]

morrissey's gonna kick your ass [x3]

i'm gonna catch you

johnny violent's fucking dead [x3]

23. Metamorphosis

you both wear glasses,you both have bad teeth

you both have bad dandruff,good fucking grief

24. I'm Sick Of You

25. Howard Wulkan's Bald

Howard Wulkan's bald

b-a-l-d bald

26. You're A Tready Fucking Pussy

you always talk behind my back,but when i see you,you want to shake my hand

when i see you ready to fight,you change your story like i knew you might

you grew up wanting to be just like me,but i'm not cool in your clique

anymore

i never changed with the trends like you did,so you're not allowed to like me

anymore

you always do whatever's fashionable,and you hate me cuz i don't

you want to be everyone's friend,and you hate me cuz i won't

you're defending someone you barely know,you're such a fucking homo

27. Tom Arnold

TOM ARNOLD

28. I Got Athletes Foot Showering At Mike's

[say the title a few times]

29. Big Pasts. Bigger Loser

big pants, bigger loser [x4]

you're such a fucking idiot

i want to fucking kill you

you want to look just like a nigger

so you wear pants 30 times bigger

30. Marc Payson Is A Drunk

[chorus:] marc payson,marc payson, marc payson is a drunk

at 8 am he has a beer,at 9 am he has a beer,at 10 am he has a beer,he's a

fucking queer

at 1pm he has a beer,at 2 pm he has a beer,at 3 pm he has a beer,then he goes

to work

[chorus]

he always shows up drunk to work,he always shows up drunk to meetings,he's

always drunk around the house,i'm glad you got kicked out

what's up with your hairline,your saxophone is doing fine,you're 25 your kid

is 9,and your father just died

[chorus]

31. Your Family Is Dumb

32. Furnace

your cousins name is Furnace, he's a fuking dwarf

33. You're Dumb

youu've got a new t pass, just for retards

you've got sagging breasts that are very large

all over your wrinkled body, you've got lots of pimples

and you've got a greasy hair coming out of your nipple

hey, you're dumb [x3]

you live with your parents, and your 31

you pay no rent, because you're a bum

you never clean your house, because you're depressed

and you've still got a goddamn hairy breast

hey, you're dumb [x3]

you're going to san fransisco because you're gay

your boyfriend must be really desperate to get laid

we'll always make fun of you, we'll never rest

and you still got a goddamn hairy breast

34. Van Full Of Retards

VAN FULL OF RETARDS - HA HA HA HA

VAN FULL OF RETARDS - YOU DROOL ON YOURSELF

YOU COULDEN'T EVEN WIN A BRONZE

IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS

YOUR PARENTS ARE ASHAMED

OF THEMSELVES AND OF YOU

[REPEAT 1ST VERSE]

35. Deche Charge Are A Bunch Of Fucking Losers

you're a bunch of stupid little kids,you wanted to be just like us

you're mad because we wouldn't do a split 7" with you,you're mad because

we're on a label

deche charge are a bunch of fucking losers

your favorite drummer is charlie infection,i wanna punch your ugly little

face in

you're a bunch of fucking losers,you don't know shit about anything

36. Everyone In The Underground Music Scene Is Stupid

37. Dumb, Fat and Gross

rebekah is dumb-she's fat and she's gross [x2]

with a bagel,sandwich,ramirez,guy lombardo

rebekah is dumb-she's fat and she's gross [x2]

38. I'm Not Stubborn

39. Mike Manan's Story

mike mahan's sty [x2]

40. 02657

you can grow a mustache overnight-down in 02657

you can see the village people everynight-down in 02657

lenny takes his summer vacation-down in 02657

liberace is your neighbor-down in 02657

yeah!

41. Gloves Of Metal

[Manowar cover]

HEAR THE POUNDING, ARMY OF THE NIGHT

THE CALL OF METAL SUMMONS US TONIGHT

AND GATHER WE ON THIS SITE

TO BEHOLD THE POWER AND THE MIGHT

WE WEAR LEATHER, WE WEAR SPIKES, WE RULE THE NIGHT

OFF WITH THE LIGHTS, HERA THE SCREAMS

SEE THE BANGING HEADS AWAKEN TO THEIR DREAMS

THE SOUND OF METAL SO LOUD IT CRACKS THE BEAMS

PLAYED BY WARRIORS CALLED THE METAL KINGS

A HERO'S WELCOME TO THOSE WHO HEED THE CALL

WE ARE TOGETHER, WE ARE ALL

WITH HANDS HIGH, FISTS FILL THE AIR

AGAINST THE WORLD WE STAND

HANDS HIGH FOREVER WE'LL BE THERE

GLOVES OF METAL RULE THE NIGHT, YEAH

LEATHER, METAL, SPIKES AND CHAINS

GLOVES OF METAL RAISED TO SHOW THE BRAVE

INTO THE DARKNESS MARCH THE ARMIES OF THE NIGHT

BOUND BY METAL WE LIVE THE FIGHT

WE WEAR LEATHER, WE WEAR SPIKES, WE RULE THE NIGHT

WITH HANDS HIGH, FISTS FILL THE AIR

AGAINST THE WORLD WE STAND

HANDS HIGH FOREVER WE'LL BE THERE

GLOVES OF METAL RULE THE NIGHT, YEAH

42. Bonus Track

CAN I HELP YOU?

UM, CAN I GET SOME SOUNDGARDEN TICKETS PLEASE

YES

1. Jack Kevorkian Is Cool

first you killed an old person

then you went to jail

then you killed another

when you got out on bail

[chorus:]

old people suck, kevorkian rules, old people suck, jack kevorkian's cool [x2]

you're in jail again

because you wouldn't sell out

let's get a bulldozer

and break him out

[chorus]

2. Valujet

you fucking jew

you wanted to save 50 bucks

you were too cheap to fly delta

now you're an alligator's lunch

[chorus:]

find your early graves in the everglades-valujet,valujet

over prices you did quibble now the alligators nibble-valujet,valujet

hitler should've thought of it now you're alligator shit-valujet,valujet

you stupid fucking jew you should'nt have flew-valujet,valujet

are you a jew

or just fucking gay

too cheap to fly delta

or t.w.a.

[chorus]

at least the plane was filled,with white trash ,jews,and blacks

now you're valujet alligator snacks

[chorus]

3. You've Got No Friends

[SETHÿ never wrote lyrics for this, HE just faked it.]

[the general concept was supposed to be about tom pascual though.]

4. You Keep A Diary

YOU THINK YOUR LIFE'S SO IMPORTANT

YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN

YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING FAGGOT

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU

YOU, YOU KEEP A DIARY

YOU POMPOUS ASSHOLE DICKFACE

YOU'LL PROBABLY WRITE A BOOK

ONLY ANOTHER ASSHOLE WOULD PUBLISH IT

YOU DUMB STUPID FAG

5. You Own A Store

hide your dogs, hide your cats-gook,gook

you can't drive, your face is flat-gook,gook

your eyes aren't straight, it's you i hate-gook,gook

you pick rice, we bombed you twice-gook,gook

[chorus:]

you're a fucking gook [x4]

your accent's gay, please go away-gook,gook

you look alike, you ride a bike-gook,gook

you own a store, i kicked in your door-gook,gook

you fucking gook, you make me puke-gook,gook

[chorus]

6. You Got Date Raped

you just wanted to hold hands but he wanted to fuck

he's twice your size and weight so you're shit out of luck

[chorus:]

you got date raped, date raped [x4]

you whined to the judge, your eyes were full of tears

but you wouldn't have been raped if you didn't have 50 beers

[chorus]

next time you go out bring a chapperone or friend

or you'll probably end up getting date raped again

you got date raped

7. Recycling Is Gay

YOU P.C. FUCKING FAGGOT

WHY DON'T YOU THROW IT AWAY

I'LL NEVER RECYCLE

THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY

RECYCLING IS GAY

MY GARBAGE CAN IS FILLED

WITH PLASTIC, CANS AND GLASS

IF YOU TELL ME TO RECYCLE

I'M GOING TO KICK YOURÿ ASS

RECYCLING IS GAY

8. You're A Cop

powdered sugar on your fingers, coffee on your shirt

bribes in your pocket, you never do any work

you fat fucking slob you just sit in a car

until you get off work then it's back to the bar

[chorus:]

you fucking pig-pig

you're a fucking cop-cop [x4]

you never catch any crooks but harass everyone else

your fat fingers don't fit the trigger you're too slow to catch a nigger

you're a suburban cop because you're scared of the city

you broke a stool at dunkin donuts because you're so fucking fat

[chorus]

[repeat first verse]

[chorus]

9. You Can't Shut Up

you have dumb boots-you can't shut up

you love m.a.s.h.-you can't shut up

you don't wear pants-you can't shut up

you can't shut up

you have a beard-you can't shut up

it looks real dumb-you can't shut up

you lost your thumb-you can't shut up

you can't shut up

you're embarrassing-you can't shut up

you can't keep time-you can't shut up

you're a fucking hank-you can't shut up

you can't shut up

stop saying "hyper"-you can't shut up

stop saying "blast"-you can't shut up

you're a pain in the ass -you can't shut up

you can't shut up [x4]

10. You've Got Cancer

you've got cancer,cancer [x4]

your hair's falling out from kemo

part of your colon's been removed

you're only down to 90 pounds

you've only got 3 months to live

you've got cancer,cancer [x4]

11. We Just Disagree

[mostly noise vocals, except the chorus when SETH sing words from that gay dave mason song]

12. Hungry Hungry Hippos

[lyrics are from that old t.v. commercial]

13. You Are An Interior Decorator

faggot [x4]

you want to paint my walls pink,you want to give me a flowered sink

you put a statue of holly johnson in my hall and a poster of joe bonni on my wall

interior decorator [x2]

[repeat verse]

interior decorator [x2]

faggot [x4]

14. Pottery's Gay

[chorus:]

pottery's gay, pottery's gay [x4]

you could'nt afford college, you took a night class

you made a clay dildo, and shoved it up your ass

[chorus]

15. Rich Goyette Is Gay

if you think you'll get christine back, there's something wrong with you

she left you for ben tober, and he's a fucking jew

[chorus:]

rich goyette is gay [x4]

16. Branscombe Richmond

you're fucking awesome

you're my favorite actor

your character is great

you fucking rule

[chorus:]

branscombe richmond [x2]

you and lorenzo work great together

you've got cool jewelery

your hairstyle couldn't be better

i wish i was you

[chorus]

i respect your native heritage

your name is really cool

i'd love your hairdressers number

you couldn't possibly be cooler

[chorus]

17. You Live In Allston

18. You Are A Good Food Critic

your last name's weinstein and your first name's jay

you're a food critic and you're fucking gay

you have more hair on your face than you have on your head

pretty soon you'll have a.i.d.s. and you'll be fucking dead

[chorus:]

you are a food critic [x4]

you're old enough-to have bought "let it be" when it was new

you're bald enough-to blind a bird you fucking jew

you're gay enough-to go out with liberace

you're gay enough-you fucking fag

i'm 22,you're 33 and you go to school with me

jay weinstein is a gay bald jew with a beard

19. Just The Two Of Us

JUST THE TWO OF US

WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY

JUST THE TWO OF US

YOU AND I

JUST THE TWO OF US

WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY

JUST THE TWO OF US

YOU AND I

20. Your Band's In The Cut-Out Bin

YOUR RECORD COST $3.99

YOUR RECORD COST $2.99

YOUR RECORD COST $1.99

AND THEN IT GETS RETURNED

YOUR BAND'S IN THE CUT-OUT BIN [X4]

YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO HALL AND OATES

YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO THE COMMODORES

YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO CAMEO

YOU'RE A FUCKING HOMO

YOUR BAND'S IN THE CUT-OUT BIN [X4]

CUT-OUT BIN, CUT-OUT BIN, CUT-OUT BIN, CUT-OUT BIN

YOU'RE IN THE RETURN LINE

THEY DON'T TAKE BACK RECORDS UNDER $3.99

THEN YOU START TO FUCKING WHINE

BUY A REAL ALBUM NEXT TIME

21. You're Gay

[chorus:]

y-o-u-r-e-g-a-y,you're gay [x4]

you volunteer for charity work-you're gay

you care about the environment-you're gay

you're a ballet dancer-you're gay

you're a cake decorator-you're gay

[chorus]

you subscribe to honcho-you're gay

you go to fashion shows-you're gay

you love playing hacky sack-you're gay

you go to poetry readings-you're gay

y-o-u-r-e-g-a-y,you're gay

22. You Look Adopted

your real mother was a hooker,your real father couldn't get laid

your mother left you in a dumpster,you were adopted by two gays

[chorus:]

you look adopted [x4]

you hate father and son picnics, you hate the p.t.a.

you won't bring friends to your house,you've got two fathers and thier both fucking gay

[chorus]

23. Your Cousin Is George Lynch

24. You Have Goals

you want to go to school

you want a good job

you want to get married

you want to own a car

[chorus:]

you're boring,you're gay,you're old,you have goals [x2]

you want to own a house

you want to have kids

if these are your goals

then you're fucking stupid

[chorus]

25. You Drive An Iroc

you're from the north end-wop

you're from revere beach-wop

you can't have a barbeque-wop

the spaghetti always falls through-wop

[chorus:]

you drive an el camino,your hero's barbarino,your cousin's name is guido,on the beach you wear

a speedo

you drive an iroc-wop

your girlfriend has a mustache-wop

you were an altar boy-wop

you got raped by a priest-wop

[chorus]

you put on a bottle of colonge today,you're italian and you're fucking gay

your fucking name is fucking vinnie,and you're a greasy fucking guinea

you can't have freckles-wop

they slide off your face-wop

you braid your girlfriend's breast hair-wop

you shave your granny's back hair-wop

26. You Play On A Softball Team

you fucking fag

you have a mustache

you hang around with men

and stare at thier ass

[chorus:]

you're the gayest guy i've ever seen,you play on a softball team,you're the biggest fag i've

ever seen,you play on a softball team

your teams sponsored by a gay bar

and you've got team pride

too bad most of your team

all got a.i.d.s. and died

[chorus]

27. Because You're Old

you have to wear a diaper

because you're old [x2]

you have to use a wheelchair

b.y.o.(because you're old) [x2]

you can't remember your kids names

b.y.o. [x2]

you have to wear dentures

b.y.o. [x2]

b.y.o.-i hate old people

b.y.o.-you're fucking old

your kids tossed you in a nursing home

b.y.o. [x2]

but they'd rather have you put to sleep

b.y.o. [x2]

you can't even feed yourself

b.y.o. [x2]

i'd hate to fucking be like you

b.y.o. [x4]

28. You Sell Cologne

you have a mustache,you called me on the phone

you wear a beret and you sell colonge

you wear colonge but you still smell bad

you smell like shit from all the men that you've had

[chorus:]

you sell colonge [x4]

you wear a gay suit, you have a mustache

you're always looking at your customers ass

a freelance homo,you tried to sell to sears

but you got kicked out because you're fucking queer

[chorus]

29. Being A Cobbler Is Dumb

30. You Live In A Houseboat

you live in a houseboat

you're so poor it barely floats

you live in a houseboat

you're white trash you're fucking broke

you live in a houseboat

trailer park thinks you're a joke

you live in a houseboat

you're a dumb stupid fag

you live in a houseboat

your dog wears a bandana

you live in a houseboat

you have no teeth

you live in a houseboat

you have tattoos of an anchor

you live in a houseboat

your house has a leak

you live in a houseboat

31. Richard Butler

richard butler,why must you always sing that way

32. 311 Sucks

[no lyrics, just wigger jibberish, except at the end:]

YOU FUCKING SUCK!

33. Your Kid Is Deformed

clubbed foot,lazy eye,cleft pallet,webbed hands

[chorus:]

your kid is deformed,oi! oi! oi! [x4]

multiple sclorosis,scoliosis,scurvy,h.i.v.

[chorus (x2)]

34. You Are An Orphan

too bad your mother never learned to drive

maybe if she did,your parents would still be alive

now they're dead,and your sister too

now you're an orphan, we'll make fun of you

you are an orphan [x4]

35. You're Old (Fuck You)

please die, you're old [x3]

fuck you

36. You Go To Art School

your parents paid your tuition and bought you a beret

you go to art school because you're fucking gay

are you in college or 13th grade

think of all the money your parents could have saved

[chorus:]

fag,fag,fag,you go to art school [x4]

[repeat everything]

37. You're Best Friend Is You

no one cares what you say,no one gives a shit about norway

no one can stand the way you talk,except your girlfriend,the greasy wop

[1st chorus:]

everyone mistakes you for a jew

your best friend is you [x2]

you have hook nose like a fucking jew

your best friend is you [x2]

no one cares about what you wrote,you're nothing but a spic,a 5 foot joke

every show you book is a fucking flop,you're a fucking midget and your broad's a wop

[2nd chorus:]

no one cares what your last show drew

your best friend is you [x2]

you're about as tall as tattoo

your best friend is you [x2]

your favorite letter's f

flunk-you flunked out of school

flop-every show that you do

fail-every class that you take

friends-not one you can make

38. You're In A Coma

you're a fucking vegetable,we tried to pull the plug

but you still wouldn't die,you're a dumb stupid fag

[pre chorus:]

you shit in a bag,you piss in a tube,you can't walk,you can't move

[chorus:]

you're in a coma [x4]

i tried to give you a hotfoot,but you didn't notice

you're gay and you're in a coma,you're a fruit and a vegetable

…

[repeat pre chorus and chorus]

39. Windchimes Are Gay

Windchimes are Gay!

40. No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your Stupid Fucking Band

41. Reni Auberjonois

[chorus:]

rene-auberjonois,is gay-auberjonois [x2]

you were on benson,you were in m.a.s.h.,you're french you're gay and you suck

[chorus]

you were in police academy 5,now you're on deep space 9

[chorus]

you were my best friend the vampire,i wish you would fucking retire

[chorus]

42. Internet Is Gay

YOU'VE GOT NO FRIENDS

YOU STAY HOMA ALL DAY

YOU'VE BEEN TO EVERY WEBSITE

BECAUSE TOU'RE FUCKING GAY

THE INTERNET IS FUCKING GAY

YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, LOSER, QUEER, NERD, ETC.

YOU'VE GOT NO FRIENDS

YOU STAY HOMA ALL DAY

YOU'VE BEEN TO EVERY WEBSITE

BECAUSE TOU'RE FUCKING GAY

43. Ha, Ha Your Wife Left You

can't find the lyrics. the chorus is:

your wife left you,your wife left you, you're not only a loser but you're also a jew

44. Hootie And The Blowfish

your band is fucking awesome,you have the best sound

you're really really good,you're the best band around

[chorus:]

hootie and the blowfish [x4]

even though you're black,i still think you're good,but please don't move into my neighborhood

the singer's a nigger,the other 3 are geeks,we'll get front row tickets and show up in sheets

[chorus]

45. You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You're Gay)

you went to see dishwalla avd everclear,you're gay you're a fucking queer [x2]

46. Locking Drop Dead In McDonalds

….

[chorus:]

hey brian,hey bob,hey lee,hey ben,you're gay,you're gay

i'm gonna lock drop dead in mcdonalds today,today

i'm gonna (don't remember) and fry a burger on your face

your lyrics don't matter,no one cares anyways

47. Technology's Gay

HOW MANY MEGS OF RAM DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR COMPUTER …

TECHNOLOGY'S GAY

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE AT WWW …

TECHNOLOGY'S GAY

I LOVE LOOKING AT THE STAR TREK WEBSITE, AND I EH …

TECHNOLOGY'S GAY

LET ME FAX YOU MY E-MAIL ADDRESS …

TECHNOLOGY'S GAY

48. Your Favorite Band Is Supertramp

49. I'm In Anal Cunt

retarded jibberish

50. You (Fill In The Blank)

we're so dumb,we've got nothing new to say

we write the same song 30 times a day

about how you're a cunt or you're dumb or you're gay

but we'll keep writing them anyway

[chorus:]

you fill in the blank [x4]

fill in the blank is dumb

fill in the blank is gay

fill in the blank's a cunt

and tom pascual is short

[chorus]

51. Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache

kyle from incantation he's got a mustache [x a lot]

mustache

52. Bonus Track #3

YOU'RE LISTENING TO 85,3 FM

AND YOU JUST HEARD MY TWO FAVORITE BANDS

FILTER AND THE REFRESHMENS

SHUT UP!

1. I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A WOMAN

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD A CUNT

YOU DESERVED IT

CUZ YOU'RE A DUMB CUNT

D-U-M-B C-U-N-T

YOU DESERVED IT, YOU DESERVED IT, YOU DESERVED IT YOU'RE A DUMB CUNT

YOU SHOULD'VE WORN A CHASTITY BELT

YOU SHOULD'VE VOLUNTEERED TO FUCK HIM

YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN UGLY

I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN

D-U-M-B C-U-N-T

YOU DESERVED IT YOU DESERVED IT YOU DESERVED IT YOU'RE A DUMB CUNT

2. Easy E. Got A.I.D.S. From F. Mercury

EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE BLACK, YOU LISTENED TO QUEEN

YOU THOUGHT FREDDY WAS THE CUTEST GUY YOU'VE EVER SEEN

YOU WENT BACKSTAGE AND GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS

YOU TOOK A HIV TEST

EASY E. GOT HIV FROM FREDDY MERCURY

YOU WENT TO DINNER, FREDDY WORE A LEASH

YOU ATE FRIED CHICKEN, FREDDY ATE QUICHE

NOW FREDDY'S DEAD AND HE'S IN HEAVEN

AT HIS WAKE YOU ATE WATER MELON

3. I Like Drugs And Child Abuse

I SMOKE LOTS OF CRACK AND MY GIRLFRIEND HAS A KID

I LIKE DRUGS AND CHILD ABUSE

WHEN SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM, I KICK HIM IN THE BALLS

I LIKE DRUGS AND CHILD ABUSE

WHEN SHE'S AT WORK, I TEACH HIM HOW TO SHOOT UP

I LIKE DRUGS AND CHILD ABUSE

WHEN SHE BEATS HIM UP, I SIT THERE AND LAUGH

I LIKE DRUGS AND CHILD ABUSE

WHEN HE WAS IN 3RD GRADE, HIS BEST FRIEND O.D'D

BECAUSE I MADE HIM SELL HEROIN AND SPEED

I LIKE BEATING KIDS FOR NO REASON AT ALL

I LIKE DOING DRUGS AND BEATING UP KIDS

4. Laughing When Leonard Peltier Gets Raped In Jail

I NEVER BOTHERED TO FIND OUT WHY YOU'RE IN JAIL

BUT, I THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU ARE

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO IT

AND YOUR LIFE GOT RUINED FOR NOTHING

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE IN JAIL

AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE

I HOPE YOU GET RAPED EVERY DAY

I'M GLAD YOU'RE STUCK IN THERE

YOU WHERE PROBABLY IN A DRUNKEN INDIAN BLACKOUT

YOU WHERE DRINKING LISTERINE IN THE DESERT

YOUR BARTENDER SHUT YOU OFF, SO YOU TRIED TO SCALP HIM

THEN YOU TRIED TO SHOOT AN FBI AGENT

5. I Convinced You To Beat Your Wife On A Daily Basis

BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT YOUR WIFE

YOUR WIFE'S SO FUCKING POSSESSIVE, SHE COMPLAINS

WHEN YOU'RE WITH FRIENDS

SHE'S ALWAYS A WINING CUNT, YOU CAVE IN CUZ

YOU'RE A FAG

BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT YOUR WIFE

IF SHE DOESN'T DO THE DISHES OR GET YOU ANOTHER BEER

THEN PUNCH HER IN THE FACE, AND THROW HER DOWN THE STAIRS

IF YOU DON'T BEAT THAT CUNT, SHE'LL WALK ALL OVER YOU

BEAT HER EVERY DAY, IT'S LOTS OF FUN TO

BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT YOUR WIFE

6. I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To Americas Funniest Home Videos

MY UNCLE WAS BEST FRIEND WITH HITLER

HE HAD SOME COOL FOOTAGE OF DACHAU

I WAS WATCHING AMERICAS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS ON DUST

AND SENDT SOME FOOTAGE TO THAT FUCKING GAY SHOW

I SENT CONCENTRATION CAMP FOOTAGE TO AMERICAS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS

I DIDN'T WIN THE $10,000

SO I SENT INTERMENT CAMP FOOTAGE

I DIDN'T WIN AGAIN

SO I SENT BIRTH OF A NATION

7. Rancid Sucks (And The Clash Sucked Too)

SKA IS GAY, REGGAE IS GAY

YOU'RE FUCKING GAY, AND YOU'RE NOT PUNK

YOU SAY YOU HATE CORPORATIONS, BUT YOU WHERE ON NBC

London's CALLING AND THEIR CALLING YOU GAY

RANCID SUCKS RANCID SUCKS RANCID SUCKS AND THE CLASH SUCKED TOO

IF KENNY G. HAD A MOHAVK, HE WOULDN'T BE PUNK

IF YANNI HAD DUMB TATTOOS, HE WOULDN'T BE PUNK

IF GARTH BROOKS PIERCED HIS NOSE, HE WOULDN'T BE PUNK

IF LIBERACE SOUNDED LIKE THE CLASH, HE WOULDN'T BE PUNK

RANCID SUCKS RANCID SUCKS RANCID SUCKS AND THE CLASH SUCKED TOO

YOU'RE GAY, YOU SUCK

AND THE CLASH SUCKED TOO

8. I Paid J. Howell To Rape You

JIM HOWELL BEAT HIS WIFE SO HIS BROTHER IN LAW FIRED HIM

WE WHERE TRYING TO THINK OF WAYS WE COULD HELP HIM OUT

I SAW YOU WEARING A 311 SHIRT AND READING FRENCH POETRY

TO YOUR LESBIAN LOVER WHO WAS WEARING A BERET

I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU

FIRST WE GAVE HIM A FIFTH OF OLD CROW AND SOME SCHLITC

WE TOLD HIM YOU'D PROBABLY BE AT THE RANDOM ROAD MOTHER SHOW

WAIL YOU WHERE TALKING TO JOE BONNI ABOUT CLOVE CIGARETTES

HE YANKED YOU AWAY AND FUCKED YOU UP THE ASS

I PAID JIM HOWELL TO RAPE YOU

RAPED, RAPED, RAPED, YOU GOT RAPED BY JIM HOWELL

9. I Pushed Your Wife In Front Of The Subway

I WAS IN A BAD MOOD, BECAUSE MY CRACK HOUSE GOT BUSTED

I SAW YOU, AND YOUR DUMB LOOKING WIFE WAITING FOR THE TRAIN

I COULD TELL IT WAS TRUE LOVE

SO AS THE TRAIN PULLED IN, I PUSHED HER INTO IT

I PUSHED YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF THE SUBWAY

IT WAS ON THE ORANGE LIME, BUT THE TRACKS WHERE RED

I PUSHED THAT CUNT IN FRONT OF THE SUBWAY

YOU HAD TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER, THAT HER MUMMY WAS DEAD

I PUSHED YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF THE SUBWAY

IT WAS SO CROWDED NO ONE SAW WHO DID IT

THEN I SAW YOU CRYING LIKE A FUCKING PUSSY

GOOD THING SHE NEVER GOT THE CHANCE

TO TELL YOU SHE WAS PREGNANT AGAIN

I PUSHED YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF THE SUBWAY

10. Extreme Noise Terror Is Afraid Of Us

THERE 3 OF US, THERE 6 OF YOU

WE'LL STILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

YOUR BAND SUCKS, YOUR BAND IS GAY

YOU KICKED US OFF THE TOUR, CUZ WE BLOW YOU AWAY

NET ARE SCARED OF US

FIRST YOU RIPPED OFF DISCHARGE, THEN NAPALM DEATH

YOU'RE GAY HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOTS, PLUS YOU'RE FUCKING GAY

WERE FASTER THAN YOU, WERE HEAVIER THAN YOU

WERE BETTER THAN YOU, AND DEAN HAS A DUMB HAIRCUT

NET ARE SCARED OF US

11. You Rollerblading Faggot

YOU'RE ARE ROLLERBLADING, ROLLERBLADING, ROLLERBLADING FAGGOT

I SAW YOU RIDING DOWN THE STREET ON YOUR ROLLERBLADES

DRINKING A FRAPPOCINO, YOU'RE TOTALLY FUCKING GAY

YOU GOT A KORN SHIRT, AND TRIBAL TATTOOS

YOU ROLLERBLADING FAGGOT, I FUCKING HATE YOU

YOU'RE ARE ROLLERBLADING, ROLLERBLADING, ROLLERBLADING FAGGOT

12. I Sent A Thankyou Card To The Guy That Raped You

YOU JUST CAME FROM A BIKINI KILL CONCERT

YOU FELT LIKE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN

TWO GUYS WHERE HAVING A "RAPE THE UGLIEST CUNT POSSIBLE" CONTEST

YOU WEREN'T A STRONG WOMAN ANYMORE

I'M GLAD YOU GOT RAPED

YOU STUPID DYKE CUNT

I'M GLAD YOU GOT RAPED

CUZ YOU'RE A STUPID DYKE CUNT

I LAUGHED AS I WATCHED HIM RAPE YOU

THEN I BROUGHT HIM A FEW BEERS

EVERY YEAR ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR RAPE

I SEND HIM A THANKYOU CARD, YOU STUPID FUCKING DYKE CUNT

I'M GLAD YOU GOT RAPED

YOU STUPID DYKE CUNT

I'M GLAD YOU GOT RAPED

CUZ YOU'RE A STUPED DYKE CUNT

13. I Lit Your Baby On Fire

I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON DRUGS, AND COULDN'T AFFORD TO FLY

I TOOK A GREYHOUND BUS, YOU AND YOUR BRAT SAT NEXT TO ME

IT WOULDN'T SHUT UP, SO I LIT IT ON FIRE

FOR 30 SECONDS IT WAS LOUDER, THEN IT SHUT UP

I LIT YOUR, I LIT YOUR, I LIT YOUR BABY ON FIRE

YOU CAME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM, AND SMELLED SOMETHING BURNING

YOU REALIZED IT WAS YOUR BABY, AND I STARTED TO LAUGH

YOU ASKED THE DRIVER TO PULL OVER, BUT HE LAUGHED AT YOU TOO

YOU YELLED AT ME, SO I ROSTED SOME MARSMELLOWS ON YOU'RE KID

I LIT YOUR, I LIT YOUR, I LIT YOUR BABY ON FIRE

14. Body By Auschvitz

YOU FAT SLOB, YOU FLUNKED JENNY CRAIG

YOU FLUNKED WEIGHT WATCHERS, YOUR 500 POUNDS

YOU HOARD CALORIES LIKE DIG HOARDS CASH

HERE'S THE FINAL SOLUTION FOR YOU'RE FAT

BODY BY AUSCWITZ

!CENCORED!

BODY BY AUSCWITZ

15. I Intentionally Ran Over Your Dog

YOU'RE DOG WAS YOUR ONLY FRIEND

YOU DEPEND YOUR LIFE SAVING FIXING IT'S BROKEN LEG

YOU LOVED IT MORE THAN YOU'RE PARENTS LOVED YOU

AND THEN I RAN IT OVER

YOUR DOG WAS DUMB, AND NOW IT'S DEAD

MY TIRE-TRACKS ARE TATTOOED ON IT'S HEAD

I DRAGGED IT 50 YARDS DOWN THE STREET

AND YOU RAN AFTER ME IN TEARS

I ALMOST CRASHED BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD

THEN I TURNED AROUND, AND TRIED TO HIT YOU

YOUR DOG WAS DUMB, AND NOW IT'S DEAD

MY TIRE-TRACKS ARE TATTOOED ON IT'S HEAD

16. Sweatshops Are Cool

YOU CAME TO THIS COUNTRY FOR A BETTER LIFE

YOU SPENT WEEKS HIDING IN A LEAKY BOAT

YOU WORK 18 HOURS A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK

FOR 50 CENTS AN HOUR, YOU SHOULD'VE STAYED HOME

SWEATSHOPS- YOU CAN BARELY AFFORD RISE

SWEATSHOPS- YOU'RE HOMES INFESTED WITH MICE

SWEATSHOPS- 100 OF YOU LIVE IN ONE ROOM

SWEATSHOPS- I HOPE YOU GET DEPORTED SOON

I'M GLAD YOU'RE UNDERPAID

I'M GLAD YOU GET RIPPED OFF

YOU'RE TOO DUMB TO GO ON WEAL FARE

YOU SUCK GUYS THAT LOOK LIKE DIG OFF

SWEATSHOPS- YOU CAN BARELY AFFORD RISE

SWEATSHOPS- YOU'RE HOMES INFESTED WITH MICE

SWEATSHOPS- 100 OF YOU LIVE IN ONE ROOM

SWEATSHOPS- I HOPE YOU GET DEPORTED SOON

17. Woman, Nature's Punching Bag

WOMAN, NATURE'S PUNCHING BAG

YOU DIDN'T GET ME A BEER

YOU WHERE ONE MINUTE LATE WHIT DINNER

YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG KIND OF BEER

YOU WANTED A CAREER

!CENCORED!

YOU FORGOT TO CASH MY UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK

YOU'RE HAVING YOU'RE PERIOD

YOU WANT TO VISIT YOU'RE MOTHER

YOU WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER KID

!CENCORED!-

WOMAN, NATURE'S PUNCHING BAG

18. I Snuck A Retard In To A Sperm Bank

YOU FUCKING DYKE

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET TOUCHED BY A MAN

YOU WANTED TO BE A STRONG SINGLE MOTHER

YOU ORDERED A SENSITIVE, GAY POETS SPERM

I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK

INSTEAD OF A BRIGHT POET OFFSPRING

YOU'RE STUCK WITH A DROOLING RETARD

YOU WENT BROKE PAYING FOR SPECIAL CARE

YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER WOMAN

I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK

19. Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck

ERIC CLAPTON SUCKS, ERIC CLAPTON SUCKS

ERIC CLAPTON'S GAY, AND HE'S FUCKING GAY

YOUR FATHER IS THE 4TH WORST SONG WRITER

AFTER SPRINGSTEEN, SEGER AND PETTY

YOU WERE SICK OF HIS GAY FUCKING SONGS

SO YOU JUMPED OUT A REALLY HIGH UP WINDOW

YOUR FATHER SUCKS SO FUCKING BAD

YOU KNEW YOU'D GET BEATEN UP AT SCHOOL

YOU WERE SICK OF HEARING "YOU LOOK WONDERFUL TONIGHT"

SO YOU JUMPED OUT A REALLY HIGH UP WINDOW

SOMETIMES I WISH YOU DIDEN'T DIE

BECAUSE I HATE THE SONG "TEARS IN HEAVEN"

I WAS GLAD YOU DIED UNTIL I HEARD THAT SONG

AND KEVIN SHARP IS GAY

20. I Ate Your Horse

YOUR DAD TOOK OUT A SECOND MORTGAGE TO BUY YOU A HORSE

YOU LOVED IT, AND TOOK BETTER CARE FOR IT THAN YOURSELF

YOU COMMAND IT, CLEANED IT, AND FED IT APPLES EVERY DAY

I WAS BROKE, DRUNK, AND HUNGRY, SO I KILLED YOUR HORSE, AND ATE IT

I ATE YOUR HORSE

WHEN YOU CAME TO THE STABLE NEXT MORNING

YOU FOUND A PILE OF HAIR, TEETH, AND HOOVES

I HID AROUND THE BACK, TO LISTEN TO YOU CRY

THEN I BEAT AN OLD LADY TO DEATH WHIT THE LEG BONE

I ATE YOUR HORSE

21. Hitler Was A Sensitive Man

HITLER WAS A SENSITIVE MAN

HE WENT TO ART SCHOOL WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER

HE WANTED TO BE A PAINTER

HITLER WAS A VEGETARIAN

HE WAS ALSO A NON SMOKER

HITLER WAS A SENSITIVE MAN

HE HIRED GAY AND HANDICAPPED OFFICERS

HE WAS CONCERNED ABOUT OVERPOPULATION

IF HITLER WAS ALIVE TODAY

HE'D LISTENED TO THE CURE, THE SMITHS, AND DEPECHE MODE

HITLER WAS A SENSITIVE MAN

22. You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You're A Cum Guzzling Fag

YOU COULDN'T PICK UP A GUY AT THE GAY BAR

MAIL PROSTITUTES WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR MONEY

YOU JERKED OFF 8 TIMES, AND RAN OUT OF YOUR OWN

SO YOU BROKE INTO A SPERM BANK, YOU CUM GUZZLING FAG

YOU'RE FUCKING GAY, YOU'RE FUCKING GAY

I ONLY WROTE THIS SONG TO PISS PEOPLE OF WHO ARE GAY

WHEN YOU BROKE IN ROD STUART HAD ALREADY BEATEN YOU THERE

LUCKILY YOU WHERE BOTH GOOD FRIENDS

YOU BOTH SAT AROUND AND DRANK 10 GALLONS OF SPERM

WAIL LISTENING TO LOS CRUDOS, AND WATCHING MARILYN MANSON VIDEOS

YOU'RE FUCKING GAY, YOU'RE FUCKING GAY

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE LYRICS, DON'T BUY OUR RECORDS YOU FAG

23. I Made You're Kid Get AIDS, So You Could Watch It Die

A FEW YEARS AGO, I SNUCK F.MERKURY INTO YOUR SONS ROOM

I GAVE HIM ANESTHESIA SO HE'D NEVER REMEMBER GETTING RAPED

YOU SPENT YOUR LIFE SAVINGS PUTTING YOUR KID THROUGH COLLAGE

THEN HE DIED OF AIDS, SO YOU WASTED YOUR MONEY FOR NOTHING

I MADE YOUR KID GET AIDS, SO YOU COULD WATCH IT DIE

I MADE YOUR KID GET AIDS, SO YOU COULD WATCH IT CRY

YOU THOUGHT YOUR SON WAS ON A DIET, SO YOU DIDN'T WORRY TO MUCH

AT THE FUNERAL, I TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED, AND LAUGHED AT YOU

I DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU SUFFERED ENOUGH

SO I SHOT YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF YOU

I MADE YOUR KID GET AIDS, SO YOU COULD WATCH IT DIE

I MADE YOUR KID GET AIDS, SO YOU COULD WATCH IT CRY

BRACS, SUMMER CAMP, COLLAGE YOU WASTED ALL YOUR MONEY

FOOD, CLOTHING, TRIPS TO DISNEY WORLD, YOU WASTED ALL YOUR MONEY

BIRTHDAYS, CHRISTMAS, THE TOOTH FAIRY, YOU WASTED ALL YOUR MONEY

LUNCH MONEY, FIELD TRIPS, TOYS, YOU WASTED ALL YOUR MONEY

24. I Fucked Your Wife

YOUR WIFE WAS SO FUCKING BORED WITH YOU

I WAS IN BOSTON FOR A COURT DATE, AND SHE FUCKED ME

I THREW AN ASHTRAY THROUGH A CINEESE RESTAURANT WINDOW

I MET HER AT AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS SHOW

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE-

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE- I BEND HER OVER

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE-

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE-YOUR MARRIAGE ID OVER

LARRY LIFELESS WAS BUYING HER DRINKS

I TOLD HER HOW I USED TO BE A CRACK HEAD

NEXT THING I KNOW, SHE WAS JERKING ME OFF

YOU'RE JEALOUS BECAUSE YOUR BANNED WENT NOWHERE

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE-

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE- I BEND HER OVER

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE-

I FUCKED YOUR WIFE-YOUR MARRIAGE ID OVER

25. Into The Oven

FIRST YOU LIVED ON A FARM

THEN YOU GOT YOUR HEAD CUT OFF

THEN I BOUGHT YOU IN A GROCERY STORE

PRETTY SOON, YOU'LL BE ON MY PLATE

INTO THE OVEN

I'M GONNA EAT YOU FOR THANKSGIVING

I'M NOT A FAGGOT VEGETARIAN

I DON'T CARE IF THE INDIANS LOST THEIR LAND

I THINK ITS REALLY FUNNY THAT THEY DID

I LIKE EATING LOTS OF FOOD ON THANKSGIVING

INTO THE OVEN

I'M GONNA EAT YOU FOR THANKSGIVING

26. I Gave Nambla Pictures Of You Kid

I FOLLOWED ARTIMUS PYLE AFTER A LYNYRD SKYNYRD SHOW

WE ENDED UP AT A NAMBLA MEETING

I KNOCKED AT THE DOOR AND ARTIMUS PYLE ANSWERED

I GAVE HIM PICTURES OF YOUR KID BECAUSE I HATE HIM

I GAVE NAMBLA PICTURES OF YOU KID

ARTUMUS PYLE, ARTUMUS PYLE, ARTUMUS, ARTUMUS, ARTUMUS PYLE

THE NEXT DAY THERE WAS A LINE AT YOU DOOR

ARTUMUS PYLE WAS GOING BACK FOR SECONDS

YOUR KID HAD A LOCK OF ARTUMUS' BEARD IN HIS ASS

YOUR KID MADE ARTUMUS' SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL

I GAVE NAMBLA PICTURES OF YOU KID

ARTUMUS PYLE, ARTUMUS PYLE, ARTUMUS, ARTUMUS, ARTUMUS PYLE

LYNRYD SKYNYRD USED TO YOUR FAVORITE BAND

UNTIL ARTIMUS HAD YOUR KIDS DICK IN HIS HAND

27. The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt

YOU THINK YOU HAVE A LOT OF MALE FRIENDS- YOU DON'T

YOU THINK GUYS CARE WHEN THEY ASK FOR YOUR OPINION- THEY DON'T

YOU THINK YOUR BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND DOESN'T WANT TO FUCK YOU- HE DOES

YOU THOUGHT THE BARTENDER WAS BEATING NICE TO YOU WHEN HE GAVE YOU A FREE DRINK- HE WASN''T

YOUR NEIGHBOR HELPED YOU MOVE- HE JUST WANTS TO FUCK YOU

YOU BOSS BOUGHT YOU LUNCH- HE JUST WANTS TO FUCK YOU

A GUY BOUGHT YOU A DRINK- HE JUST WANTS TO FUCK YOU

HE ASKED YOU TO GO OUT FOR COFFEE- HE JUST WANTS TO FUCK YOU

YOU THINK YOU'RE ONE OF THE GUYS

YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS

YOU'RE EVENTUALLY GOING TO GET RAPED

YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT

YOU STUPID CUNT

YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT

YOU STUPID CUNT

YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT

28. I Made Fun Of You Because Your Kid Just Died

I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL LAUGHING AT CRIPPLES

THE I HEARD YOU KID JUST DIED

SUDDENLY, THAT WAS FUNNIER THAN THE CRIPPLES

SO I TRACKED YOU DOWN AND MADE FUN OF YOU

YOUR KID DIED, AND YOU CRIED

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY

IT WAS AN OPEN CASKET WAKE

I SPILLED MY BEER IN YOUR KIDS COFFIN

YOUR MASCARA RAN BECAUSE YOU WERE CRYING

SO I KICKED YOUR HUSBAND IN THE BALLS

YOUR KID DIED, AND YOU CRIED

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY

29. Domestic Violence Is Really Really Really Funny

YOU CAUGHT YOUR WIFE FUCKING THE MAILMAN

YOU THREW HER DOWN A FLIGHT OFF STAIRS

YOUR SON CAME HOME WITH 4 D'S AND AN F

YOU KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS AND IN THE FACE

IF I WAS A COP, CALLED TO YOUR HOUSE

I'D CONGRATULATE YOU FOR BEATING YOUR SPOUSE

I'D SHAKE YOUR HAND FOR BEATING YOUR SON

IF HE WAS MY SON, I'D TAKE OUT MY GUN

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS REALLY REALLY REALLY FUNNY

YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER CAME HOME PREGNANT FOR THE 3'RD OR 4'TH TIME

YOU PUT ON YOUR BOOTS AND KICKED HER IN THE STOMACH

THEN YOU CAUGHT YOUR WIFE SUCKING THE MILKMAN'S DICK

SO YOU THREW HER DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN

IF I WAS A COP, CALLED TO YOUR HOUSE

ID OFFERED TO SHOOT YOUR NO-GOOD SPOUSE

IF I HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR TEENAGE SLUT

I'D GLADLY KICK HER IN THE GUT

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS REALLY REALLY REALLY FUNNY

30. Dictators Are Cool

POOL POT KILLED A MILLION OF HIS PEOPLE

IDI AMIN ATE THAT MANY FOR DINNER

PAPA DOC, HIS SON WAS EVEN COOLER

ROSS THE BOSS WAS IN MANOWAR

DICTATORS ARE COOL

MUSSOLINI GOT PISSED ON BY HIS PEOPLE

HITLER HAD A CHARLIE CHAPLIN MUSTACHE

DICK MANITOBA GRABBED MY GIRLFRIENDS TITS

MARK MENDOZA WAS IN A TWISTED SISTER

DICTATORS ARE COOL

31. Deadbeat Dads Are Cool

WHY WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THAT FUCKING BRAT

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE IT ANYWAY

SHE WAS TO STUPID TO GET AN ABORTION

SO SHE SHOULD BE STUCK PAYING THE BILLS

DEADBEAT DADS ARE FUCKING COOL

DON'T GIVE THAT STUPID CUNT A CENT

DON'T PAY THAT FUCKING BRAT'S RENT

DON'T PAY MONEY FOR IT TO EAT

IF YOU'RE COOL, YOU'LL BE A DEADBEAT

DEADBEAT DADS ARE FUCKING COOL

32. I'm Really Excited About The Upcoming David Buskin Concert

I BOUGHT A BUS TICKET TO THE LOG CABIN

I'M GONNA START A PIT DURING THE FIRST SONG

I'M GONNA REQUEST "PAPA YOU WHERE A SAILOR"

I'M GONNA BRING 3LIGHTERS TO THE SHOW

I WAS REALLY PSYCHED TO SEE MORBID ANGEL

I WAS REALLY PSYCHED TO SEE UPSIDEDOWN CROSS

I WAS REALLY PSYCHED TO SEE ALL STEWART

BUT NOT AS MUCH AS

DAVID BUSKIN

IS COMING TO MY TOWN

HE WAS MUCH BETTER WITH BATTEAU

BUT HIS STILL HEAVIER THAN SIX FEET UNDER

I'M GONNA DRINK 5 CASES OF BEER BEFORE THE SHOW

AND SMOKE TONS OF POT, CRACK AND DUST

I WAS REALLY PSYCHED TO SEE JUDAS PRIEST

I WAS REALLY PSYCHED TO SEE BLACK SABBATH

I WAS REALLY PSYCHED TO SEE PHRANC

BUT NOT AS MUCH AS

DAVID BUSKIN

IS COMING TO MY TOWN

33. Being Ignorant Is Awesome

I LIKE TO LAUGH AT RETARDS

I LIKE TO LAUGH AT CRIPPLES

I LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF GAYS

I LIKE TO BEAT WOMAN

I LIKE ASSUMING BLACK PEOPLE STOLE SOMETHING

I LIKE ASSUMING JEWS JERK OFF TO PHOTOS OF BANKS

I LIKE ASSUMING CHINESE PEOPLE CANT DRIVE

I LIKE ASSUMING WOMAN ARE DUMB CUNTS

I LIKE BEING IGNORANT

I LIKE ASSUMING BLACK PEOPLE STOLE SOMETHING

I LIKE ASSUMING JEWS JERK OFF TO PHOTOS OF BANKS

I LIKE ASSUMING CHINESE PEOPLE CANT DRIVE

I LIKE ASSUMING WOMAN ARE DUMB CUNTS

I LIKE BEING IGNORANT

I DON'T WANT TO READ THE PAPER

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE NEWS

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON

I JUST WANT TO KEEP HATING YOU

34. You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You In The Stomach

I THOUGHT YOU WHERE A FAT CHICK

THEN I REALIZED YOU WHERE PREGNANT

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF YOUR BABY DIED

SO I KICKED YOU IN THE STOMACH

I KICKED YOU, YOUR BABY'S DEAD

HA HA HA YOUR BABY'S DEAD

THERE WHERE NO STAIRS TO THROW YOU DOWN

THERE WAS NO ROOF TO THROUGH YOU OFF

THERE WAS NO COAT HANGERS AROUND

SO I KICKED YOU IN THE STOMACH

I KICKED YOU, YOUR BABY'S DEAD

HA HA HA YOUR BABY'S DEAD

35. Chris Barnes Is A Pussy

YOU HID ON YOUR BUS

YOU WHERE AFRAID OF US

YOU WOULDN'T FIGHT ME CUZ YOU'RE GAY

YOU HAD YOUR ROADIES SAVED TODAY

CHRIS BARNES IS A FAGGOT- YOU'RE FUCKING GAY

CHRIS BARNES IS A FAGGOT- YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT

CHRIS BARNES IS A FAGGOT- YOU'RE BREATH SMELLS LIKE CUM

CHRIS BARNES IS A FAGGOT- YOU LIKE DICKS UP YOUR ASS

YOU'RE A FUCKING MIDGET, SO YOU CAN BLOW GUYS WITHOUT KNEELING

YOU & ALLEN WEST MET AT A GAY BAR AND WANTED TO START A BAND

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF CANNIBAL CORPSE BECAUSE YOU SUCK

YOU STARTED SIX FEET UNDER AND THEY SUCK TOO

I'LL FIGHT YOU ANYTIME YOU FAG

BUT YOU'LL HAVE YOU'RE RODIES FIGHT FOR YOU

IF YOU SO BRUTAL, WHY WONT YOU FIGHT ME BY YOURSELF

YOU FUCKING CUM GUZZLING FAGGOT HOMO PUSSY

36. Tim Is Gay

TIM IS GAY

37. B.T./A.C.

38. I Sold Your Dog To A Chinese Restaurant

I WAS ON MY WAY TO TURN IN ILLEGAL ALIENS TO THE INS

AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING DOG WAS BARKING AT ME

IT SOUNDED LIKE A SINGER FROM A GAY DEATH METAL BAND

I WANTED TO KICK IT IN THE FUCKING FACE

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

AFTER I BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF IT

I WANTED TO THROW IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WINDOW

BUT I NEEDED MONEY TO BUY SOME MORE WHISKEY

SO I SOLD IT TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

YOUR FAMILY ORDERED PU PU PLATTER

YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EATING

IT WAS YOUR FUCKING GAY FAITHFUL DOG

WHILE YOU WERE AT THE RESTAURANT I LIT YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE

39. I Got An Office Job For The Sole Purpose Of Sexually Harassing Women

IF YOU WORK WITH ME PREPARE TO GET HARASSED

WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE COPIER, I'LL PITCH YOUR ASS

I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE UGLY, DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE OLD

YOU'RE STILL A WOMAN AND I WANT TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN

I'M GONNA SPREAD RUMORS THAT YOU'RE EASY

I'M GONNA THREATEN TO RAPE YOU ON YOUR E-MAIL

I'M GONNA LEAVE A DILDO AT YOUR DESK

SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT YOU STUPID CUNT

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT

BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT

YOU FUCKING CUNT

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT

YOU FUCKING BITCH

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU QUIT

YOU STUPID CUNT

1. The Guy Who Shot His Kid Up With A.I.D.S. Is Awesome

he didn't want to pay for that brat

so he shot that fucking kid up with a.i.d.s.

that retard thought no one would find out

but everyone knew he worked at a hospital

now he's getting shot up with a.i.d.s.

by a 12" black syringe in prison

everyone's upset that he did it

i think it's funny, to bad he didn't get away with it

a.i.d.s.[x a lot]

the guy who shot his kid up with a.i.d.s. is awesome

he rules, he's fucking cool

2. I Went Back In Time A Voted For Hitler

i kidnapped mr. peabody and his "way back machine"

when we got there i sold him to a chinese restaurant

i punched every girl i saw in the face

on the way to the booth to vote for hitler

[chorus:]

i went back in time and voted for hitler[x 4]

repeat first verse

[chorus]

i just voted for adolf hitler[x 4]

3. Hogging Up The Holocaust

other people were fucked with too

but all you care about is you

faggots, gypsies, others too

but you just want people to care about you

hogging up

hogging up the fuckinh holocaust [x4]

you're as greedy with money as you are with guilt

so you had a holocaust memorial built

not that i care about other people or races

but i'm sick of your fucking whining faces

hogging up

hogging up the fuckinh holocaust [x4]

4. I'm Hitler

[lost the lyrics, the chorus is:]

i'm back,i'm back,i'm back,i'm hitler[x 4]

1. All Our Fans Are Gay

Why do you think we throw stuff at you?

You own all our cd's- you're gay, you're gay

You own all our 7"s- you're gay, you're gay

You bought all our t-shirts- you're gay, you're gay

You go to all our shows- you're gay, you're gay

[Chorus:] All our fans are gay [x4]

You think you know what we are singing about- you're wrong

You think we care about the underground- you're wrong

You think we won't fuck up your club- you're wrong

You think we care if you like us- you're wrong

[Chorus]

If we're nice to you, it's because we're broke

Or unless you got some drugs to smoke

When the drugs are gone, then we are too

Then we'll go back to making fun of you

[Fan voice:] "But I've supported you guys for so long"

FAGGOT!

hahaha. Anal cunt rules. If you haven't listened to them, do so..

Well, i got a copy of Maya 7.0. But, i'm too lazy to work with it, figure it out.. Meh..

GOOD BANDS: Anal Cunt, Dimmu Borgir, Rammstein, DangerDOOM, Mc Lars, mc chris, mc hawking

Bad Bands: Damn. i actually have to think here..

well, that cuts it for now. Have fun…

MahFreenAmeh 18 years, 5 months ago

I'm not a horrible person.

I just listen to a band that injects hatred into their lyrics to be funny.

Derrrrr.

poultry 18 years, 5 months ago

Your stupid.

He has bad words in his blog, he should be warned because I am offended.

melee-master 18 years, 5 months ago

They're lyrics CAMD, and we all know swearing doesn't offend you.

YES IT DOES!!!

not really…

BUT WARN HIM!!!

Grindcore! ~,~

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