64Digits

you're not going to read it.

Warning: This blog is long. Also boring. In fact, to save you some trouble, don't read it. Even I hate it.

If it's 8:00PM where you live, turn your damn computer off. It's earth hour.

So I went to the Wayback Machine to check out my older blogs(most of the links were broken, but I managed to get one important blog I didn't want to delete, but did anyway).

Quote: Afraid of Sleep

It's ridiculus to admit it, but I may get an ugly nightmare. No, I didn't watch a scary movie or something like that, I just know I'll get a nightmare. Let's explain.

I've been a suicidal person for probably 3 years. Not really wanting to kill myself, but if you would give me a gun right now, I wouldn't think about it and shoot myself. For as long as I can remember, I've never had friends. People on elementary were assholes, no one would get close to me. I tried to make friends, but they all hated me. Why? I don't know, and don't care. After years of trying, I gave up in 3rd Grade and started being the quiet one.

In 6th Grade(which I was already in middle school), things were still the same. The last few months, however, someone moved in next to our house. I saw this person but never really talked to him, saw him in school and stuff. Afterward, I started talking to him and eventually became best friends. Heh, my first friend in my life, 'till 6th Grade, how much does that suck? I don't know. The school year was almost over, and I had asked my parents at the beggining of the year to move. Now, we were moving and there went my only friend. In 7th Grade, I started getting suicidal thoughts, because I kept my quiet guy actitude from elementary school. 8th Grade was pretty much the same stuff.

Now, in 9th Grade, I started making some friends, but they're assholes. Not the kind of people that come to greet me and stuff. I still couldn't stop thinking about how much life sucks for leaving me friendless again. That's how I started 9th. Well, there's something weird about my life if you haven't noticed: I haven't mentioned any crushes. I've never had any. In the beggining of the year, I got one. It kept getting bigger and bigger as days went by. She's the only person that doesn't make me feel like crap everyday. Why? I don't know. I always wondered why, but for some reason, she made me forget my old friend so much, that I can't fucking remember his name anymore.

People on my high school don't know me, so they don't know how much of a loser I was in elementary and my old middle school, so I just got rid of the quiet actitude since January(07). I started making better friends, and all that stuff. For once, my life didn't suck.

(look at the blog below) From September 30, 2006 to date, I couldn't spend a day thinking about my crush. You can imagine how you feel when this girl you've liked for a long time is with another guy. That was…unexpected. She's not the dating type(not that I remember). I'll probably get a bigass nightmare, since I'm not feeling depressed or anything like that. I just know it for some reason. What's this story's moral? dabridge sucks at life.

You would have to be extremely pathetic if you remember the first title from my september blog, which was "I can't take it anymore," which mean't "I can't be without her" and I was planning on killing myself. Like I said, it's weird that I'm not serverely depressed like I would normally be.

Hey, blogs were made to rant. >:(

Believe it or not, it's all true. For some reason, I remembered myself as a lying bastard to 64D in 2006/2007. I guess not, this blog kind of proved it. The thing is that I think I wrote truthfully on the blog because it wasn't even front-page'd(and still managed to get ~37 comments, lawl).

Anyways, I'm bored, so I'll just continue the story.

Okay, so what happened after that blog was made? Well, I conviced myself I had to tell her. Did I? I managed to hold up until the last day of school. I did tell her, but over myspace(hence the reason I have one, or else it would have already been deleted). Instead of saying "you suck go away you freak," she actually said to wait up to see what happens in our 10th grade(in the "we may go out" kind of way, since she also said she had a crush on me at the beginning of 9th grade)

Well, I was overjoyed by this, so I stopped being depressed all of the time and talked to her every morning over the summer. ^_^

Until, I managed to bore her to death. I wasn't a very talkative person, so the conversations with her only involved me writing stupid stuff and her laughing about it. The convos stopped a few weeks before school started, so I was liek, "wtf?"

Back to my usual depressed self, the first time I saw her(the second day of school), I thought to myself, "well she doesn't want to talk to me so I guess I'll just walk away," since she looked away before I did when we made eye contact. Bad idea, since then, I still haven't been able to talk to her. Why? Because I'm a gigantic faggot. However, it wasn't all tears because I saw someone in school who I had met over myspace in the summer. I won't share his name, but he helped me to get rid of being depressed every day.

Anyways, I guess I'll stop there(there's nothing else noteworthy in the story), and I'll just begin to explain some stuff on the "afraid of sleep" blog(except for the grammar errors, I was just generally stupid).

In it, it says that I couldn't make any friends until 6th grade. What I meant is someone that I could go up to and say hello without them looking at me with a face of "who the hell are you?" However, I had some people helping me, and me helping them, in the classroom, but that's as far as it got. How did I manage to stay without friends so long? Well, my video game addiction didn't pop out of the sky.

The friends I made in 9th grade weren't assholes, because it was only, liek, one. Yup, one. He wasn't a very good friend either, he was the guy in charge of dropping my self-esteem as low as the floor. Some people thought we were best friends though, lawl.

In the blog, it said that the girl I like wasn't the dating type. Well, again, wrong. I didn't know her as much, hell, I even found out she was bi. The guy she was with was a guy she liked, but never really went out with him as far as I know.

Do I still like her? Hell yes. I found out by a friend of mine, which is also a friend of hers, that she hates me though. Oh well. I did started crying as soon as I heard that, but I managed to get over it… sort of.

So there you have it, another blog made by me. Ironically, I'm not sad or depressed, so yeah.

V 16 years, 8 months ago

This sounds… Kind of like my own legacy to date. Things have gotten better for me though, and the majority of my friends are assholes anyway. Also, I just want to say… You sound very, very much like someone I once knew. I don't know if it is the same person, but hopefully it isn't… Does the name… Robby Drew ring a bell?

Quietus 16 years, 8 months ago

Maybe you should find out. ;_;

SquareWheel 16 years, 8 months ago

Are you an emo?

NeutralReiddHotel 16 years, 8 months ago

Quote:

Does the name… Robby Drew ring a bell?

Nope. Glad to hear things are working out for you though. :)

I am, although it's a little hard since I can't even talk to her. lawl

I'm not, but people do call me that. :(

Polystyrene Man 16 years, 8 months ago

This isn't at all like my life story, but I can sympathize.

Believe me: Being in relationships can hurt just as much as not being in them.

And I've never really had a problem with friendships. I guess that's because I really don't care what anyone thinks of me, so I'm almost always comfortable with whoever I'm around.

Oh, thanks for blogging :)

sk8m8trix 16 years, 8 months ago

yeah man, you used to blog all the time and were an awesome interesting guy. You just seem horribly inactive lately :(

Hm, that's good. ^^

He was some guy with the same case and such.

Killpill28 16 years, 8 months ago

Are you a prophet dabridge…or maybe a STALKER!

Yes, I don't live in Texas.

*Looks around*

ignore this blog

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