going forward, how do i do it? it's easy. i know how. the part that is easy is knowing how. The hard part is actually doing it. like the start of a study session. like the first conversation with a stranger that might be a potential buddy. like the beginning of a long-day workshift. like opening a blank word document and having a blank screen with a blinking cursor look back at you. like seeing an empty blog space and thinking of what the hell to write so people can like me.but the hardest part is starting. it's not doing it. it's not finishing it. it's fucking starting.like anything. these days i sound like a little kid. this is because i've lost the cult i was in, and i heavily miss it. i used to attend that cult and think of missing 64D because everyone here is so cool and i'll never loose my spot here.that's not true. i've lost my spot here years ago. and i'm not the only one. i no longer log in with enthusiasm of hoping to see one of my favorite users in the active users list. i no longer daydream of making the best video game ever in Game Maker to impress you guys. i no longer pursue becoming a good pixel artist or a good midi composer to make myself seem like a self-sufficient, dependeble guy. cause i'm not. why pretend to be something i'm not?i'll be making games for the same reason i decided to want to make games as a kid while i was playing Super Mario Brothers using Luigi with my second controller, in world 4-2. "gee, i sure wish i could add more levels to this game so other people can play it. i have fun, why can't others have fun too?"i'm paying respect to hardworking game developers and programmers and artists that put together such fun games for me to play as a childhood, and fun games to keep me company while i desperately needed it. that's it. i have fun making fan games. i don't know if that will ever go away.my heart is poured. my mind is numbing. i am no longer a little kid. now i'm an older guy, with the same respect a little kid deserves.time to change that, starting today.
2 things to say here from me:
1) Age. You get older and realize that the effort needed to better yourself is much greater than you realize when getting to the point where you live on your own. its sad but true. Still, it has its perks if you manage it2) What I do to get started on a project now is plan it out. Draw sketches, list the things it needs to be able to do, and think of anything that would make it unique or special, or any hiccups I might need to think about. Not sure if it would help you any, but it takes a lot of motivation and energy to accomplish. Planning it out is a good place to start, because for me I don't like to put my work to waste. so I'm not going to plan out something for nothing, unless I think its a dumb idea later on.Hope that helps. good to see ya