My friend Jibs (nickname because he came from Gibraltar) somehow managed to blow his face up.

He came to school the other day with huge burns on his face, and his eyebrows and fringe singed. He looks like some sort of comicbook character who has had his face exposed to nuclear radiation. Of course, everyone was asking how he did it, he tells people "Well, I was making a bonfire when my brother gives me a bag he wants burnt. Just so happened to have fireworks in it." He is lucky to still be able to see. He has to carry a tub of petroleum jelly and painkillers around to ease the pain.

Lesson learnt: Don't piss about with fireworks.