Shitty title. ^

My last blog post was pretty cool and well written – I humbly attest – and topping it might be difficult, but I can try.

Vinyl

I just went on holiday to a big city far south of where I live, because my family has a lot of friends and relatives there. An old aunt had a fucktonne of old vinyl, something like 60 records as well as 2 broken gramophones (one of them being extremely large and probably decades old). Having decided a few weeks earlier that I wanted to start a hobby of collecting vinyl records, I excitedly snatched up 13 of the goofiest and coolest looking LPs I could find. Now I just need to find something that plays them.

To be honest I was mostly just interested in choosing ones which had nice album art work and genres. I don't even really know many of the artists, but I did select a few ones I knew of…

I got 2 Bowie albums and a booklet containing all of his singles. Sk8 would be proud.

Other Music Stuff

I've been organising my music and collecting more of it.

I've found out about this Sydney, Australia based electronic duo, FISHING, who produce a sound like nothing I've ever heard.

Fuckit, the Youtube tag isn't working so here's a link.

Also, this track.

They have a series of 'mixtapes' which I highly recommend. They can be found Here.

Other music I've been listening to and like:

Cerulean - Baths

New Brother Android album

All Alone - Golden Donna

Burst Apart - The Antlers

RUFUS EP

Darwin Deez self titled album

Man Mantis

Gotye

Gomez

Life (feel free to skip this part)

I read all of FirestormX and Mega's big blog posts they did recently. I figured I'd do something similar, but it's so hard for me to collect and collate my thoughts and memories in a manner that would be comprehensible and entertaining to read. Instead I'll just do a couple snippets of recent things.

Most of my life I had lived as the naive and insentient suckling of the world, oblivious to a sense of reality and understanding of the world. This state I was in had persisted up until half way through 2010. At that point I realised I ought to do things to become a better person, that I should think more open-mindedly and pay more attention to important issues and personal hobbies.

I started thinking outside the box in terms of my art and philosophy. I had drive to become a better artist, and I really did. Because of my vivacious creative drive that I possessed then, I've got a large advantage over most people my age in terms of artistic prowess. I would say "same goes for my philosophising", but I'm not really in any position to say something as dangerously elitist as that.

In that time I had overcome most of my mental and emotional baggage and I became a better and more interesting person because of it.

On the holiday I mentioned in the beginning of this blog, I had another major jolt of reality. In the weeks leading up to this holiday, my depression had essentially dissipated and I had become more motived (possibly more on that topic later). This holiday seemed to be the reckoning, the final push towards the dispensation of my impractical sadness. This 'reckoning' was also a morbid one, though. It was one of life, death and the future.

My family and I visited my aforementioned aunt (from who I received the records) and her husband. They're very old now, and seeing my forgetful and physically incapable uncle was heart wrenching and depressing. I felt sorry for him; what kind of life is that, just waiting to die with not a whole lot left to do. I'm pretty sure I hope to die or go insane before reaching such a sad state of life. So that was one part of the realisation, my feeling and recognition of death. I used to feel very content with the idea of death, but now that I have stuff to live for, I'm more uneasy about that.

The second aspect of my realisation is that of life and my future. I honestly don't know for sure what I'm going to do after I finish school, I live in the now, and I don't look forward to the future. All I see after this is a difficult time in college, work for the rest of my life, pitiful and useless old age, and then death. I am seriously unsure and disdainful of what my life could bring.

Anyway, I could speak more on that but I won't. I should like to give advice to anyone seeking personal change or a cure to depression. I have found that the most healing things are:

1. A change of scenery and circumstances (which my holiday was for me).

2. An easy and disposable way to release thoughts. For me I did bi-daily journal entries and free-form writing exercises.

But of course that's not all that helps. I mentioned a few blogs back that I had met a girl who redeemed my esteem of women in general. I've since become well acquainted with her, and I actually owe a fair bit to her for helping me overcome my issues. She's very kind and persistently understanding, logical and literal. I have honestly never known a person who I can talk to as easily as I can talk to her. She is much more responsive than most people who I have known (relationships which were typically one-way), and we can talk about many topics at length and in-depth.

Phew. A lot of what I have said is a collective of fairly straightforward and already well accepted ideas and realisations. I intended to put my own philosophical spin on it, but I wrote this part of the blog last and I'm all used up.

Art

I've set up an all-inclusive, non discriminatory, straightforward art dump for myself on Tumblr.

You can find it… right here! Clicky! Clicky!

I'm quite happy with it at the moment, and I've uploaded about 60 pieces!

On top of that, I've set up another Deviant Art account. I deleted my old one for whatever reason, but I've got a new one. Find it here.

And for those of you who won't bother to visit any of those links, here's some easy access art for your goodification:

This one took me so very long to do, but it was also very fun.

I finished this one.

And this one which was fun to do.

And That's All of The Things

I'll be back soon, also, I really need to get moving on that black & white platformer I was talking about doing.