I don't recommend you continue reading, only because the font wont change, it's late and I'm EXHAUSTED and because the following is a stupid rant. As always.
As you may know by now, I am one of the world's greatest "story tellers." In other words, I kick ass at lying. Lately I've been so busy trying to be a "better person" and it's actually making me really miserable. (No, getting kicked out wasn't part of me being a good person.)Anyways, in the end I don't wanna be the girl who cried wolf and have everyone hate me while the canine of life mauls my face until I bleed to death, but something about always being truthful is driving me nuts. It's just not who I am. I miss my stories about saving the earth. I miss telling people I'm much greater than I really am and then letting them down. It's just who I am. Trying to be the good one just isn't in me. I'm extra emotional (no, not PMS. Although it's worse then) because I can't "sugar coat" things anymore. I was told to just tell the truth which to me is like, "YOU RUINED MY LIFE" instead of, "Umm, I don't really like what you've done to the place."I'm told to just "deal with it" which is what I've been doing only I haven't gone to bed ONCE in the last THREE WEEKS without crying myself to sleep because I just can't. I need that barrier to build myself up. I don't like feeling vulnerable and feeble and weak. It's just not who I am. What do I do ? Do I go back to my old ways and make myself feel better, or do I keep this up and hate myself every second of everyday ? (I know, when I put it like that it's like getting what I wanna hear, but I need the truth.) Has anyone else got an experience they wanna share that they need help on or that could possibly help me ?Anyways I'm gonna try to stop crying and hop into bed. I've got work in the morning. Night everyone !HAVE A GREAT DAY !!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH !!!!
jesus christ this pink is killing me. This page contravenes so many web design guidelines right now :(
As long as you are truthful in your blogs, everything will be fine. <3
MY eyes plz no maor!
An individual who seeks attention is frowned upon.
An individual who earns attention is revered.One of the best ways to get somewhere in the social layer is to do something.Meaning, yes, write your stories again. Take it from me, writing things makes you feel better if it's in your nature.It's better when you're feeling emotional, because you can put all of your feelings into characters. Maybe someday you can even make money off of it.Find a happy medium. I mean, outright lying to everyone isn't exactly the best idea, but there's a difference between just lying to someone and randomly making something up for the fun of it. Something I've been figuring out the past few weeks is it's no fun to put on a mask, or in my case, a "happy face". Sometimes you gotta do it, sometimes it's easier if you do, but in the end it just plain sucks. So yeah, don't sacrifice your old self for a new one. Just work on finding a good balance between them, and try to be happy for your own sake. :3