I was cleaning up our messy bedroom, sorting things into piles for trash or for washing. At this phase I believe they call it "nesting." I was never a fan of cleaning but today it felt like such an impulse to do so, I enjoyed it. At least until I found a pair of panties that did not belong to me hidden under the bed.

I picked them up trying not to touch them too much and waddled my way into the living room where he was watching TV. I picked up the remote and turned it off, hiding the underwear behind my back. "Can you please tell me something?"

He rolled his eyes, "What, babe?"

I held the strange panties in front of me, "Just whom do these belong to?" and tossed them at his chest.

He grabbed them off his lap and threw them on to the floor, "I'm sure they're yours."

"Well they aren't." My voice cracked and my eyes began to water. Heartbroken, I went walk away but he leaped off the couch, grabbed my arm and turned me to face him, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Away from you! Ow, let go…" the tears began to fall.

"You're staying right here." Squeezing my arm he led me to sit down on the couch. "Sit down until you've calmed down."

I felt pretty calm considering the situation.

"No, just let me go for now." I tried to stand up but he put his hand on my shoulder forcing me back down.

"YOU will stay HERE!" he yelled. He had never spoken to me like that before. I was scared.

"Let me go, please. We'll talk tomorrow, I need air…" Suddenly I felt the left side of my face sting and burn and I fallen onto my right side on the couch. He had never hit me before either.

I looked up at him, shocked and scared, "What are you doing? Please, please just let me go!"

Without a word he went to the kitchen. I got up to the front door, put my shoes on, and grabbed the car keys. As I reached for my sweater he came back around with something hidden behind his back. I tried to ignore him and just make my way out, until he grabbed my arm and swung me so I hit the back of my head hard against the wall.

Crying, I begged for him to let me go one last time. Looking into his eyes, I could see sanity flicker in and out of his soul. It was terrifying.

He finally let me go. He stepped back and let his arms drop to his sides. He was holding a knife. Feeling sick, I put a hand on my belly.

I looked at it and I looked at him, "Wont he be proud."

I woke up later, in a dimly white-lit room. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see IV bags. I shut my eyes and exhaled. Here again?

A doctor followed by two nurses and two police officers came to my bedside. The doctor looked at my chart, then at me, "Veronica, is it?"

I nodded.

"I'm Doctor Wynn and this these are Officers Derofski and Benjamin. You blacked out yesterday and were brought in by paramedics." I slightly raised my eyebrows as if to say 'go on…' only to feel that my face was bruised.

Then I remembered what had happened.

"Veronica," the police officer's expression was serious. "We're told Kay was your fiancé."

I nodded.

"Veronica, we're sorry to tell you, but he killed himself."

There was a pause, my expression didn't change. "Oh."

"Do you remember what had happened yesterday?"

I nodded again.

"Can you tell us?"

I paused for a moment, remembering, "He was mad because I wanted to leave. He hit me across my face. Then when I was heading out the door, he grabbed me and had me up against a wall. He had a knife in his hand, but I don't remember him using it. Then last thing I saw was his fist flying towards my face. Now I'm here."

The officers looked at each other, then back at me, "That's all we needed to know for now." They wished me a speedy recovery and walked out the room.

Then the doctor sighed, "I'm sorry, the news doesn't get any better." He sat in a chair next to the bed. "After you blacked out, you were stabbed on your right side" he sort of pointed with his pen. I shut my eyes, knowing what was coming next.

"You bled for a while before anyone found you. We did what we could, but you lost your child. I'm sorry."

I exhaled and hung my head. Tears began to fall and I did nothing to stop them.