So I know my sanity is in question lately with the shit I've been dealing with.'

Ancient spirits, false gods, and other weirdness.

To be honest I'm pretty -lit- right now, so either truth or nonsense will follow. Fuck, its the weekend, who cares? Or at least in 3 hours from now where I am it is.

Anyway, with a combination of meditation, listening to voices and other weird bullshit, perhaps I've gone insane.

However, there seems to be something going on, and I've scratched the surface at least.

I offer the ability to do some exploring for yourself. Its rather simple, Audacity(free), and simply reversing it and using your ears and brain.

Now I know I'm leading you into semi-dangerous territory, however, whatever you do, don't look too deep into the lizard people thing.

Now its time for a little story, since it happened almost a year ago.

Last year, around this time, me and my wife stumbled upon some weirdness involving lizard people. This was kind of what kicked off a shit-load of weirdness in my life.

After the day we started look at lizard people, and various other paranormal stuff things started to get very weird. I mean -weird- a fucking shit.

First I started noticing people acting weird around me, and not like I just started noticing, but as if their behaviors changed. Following that, people at my place of work at the time also started acting differently. The weird thing is that I was on good terms and even friends with most of the staff. However after that one day they all started acting different, and I hadn't said a word about what I've been doing.

Cars were stopping in the street near me for no reason, I was getting weird looks, I even heard someone say 'krishna' as I was walking down the street.

So I decided to start reading about some things, which kept branching further. Reading about Krishna, god, satan, various other religious things. I started to notice that you can compress all the different religious beliefs together.

When you think about it, or know some things about religions, you'll notice that certain gods, demons, angels and the like tend to mesh up. Christians seemed to have turned old Roman/Greek religions into something else. Apparently Zeus gets an upgrade in status thanks to Christianity. I can't prove it, but I believe that their god is actually Zeus.

Zeus isn't the god of gods, maybe king of the lesser, father of the human race. Now if you look beyond your species, you know that human isn't the superior race of the planet. We are on par, we just have big fucking egos :P Well not everyone, but you get the point.

So if you think about it, theirs something beyond Zeus, the 'creator' as it were which spans almost all religions. Of course opposite to that is the destroyer.

Now I personally made the mistake of trying to tell my own father about these things I've learned. About life and death, about how humans are more than they seem. But as consequence I ended up being committed as being suicidal, which I tell you is not cool at all….

However, being at a mental place for about a week, I met some interesting people. People who knew they were more than who they actually were. I met 9, a girl who I forget whose real name is, an interesting old lady and even someone who said they knew who I was.

The latter was some crazy shit, it happened the day I was going to be set free. I had to talk to a 'judge' to get out of that fucking place.

But this new guy who came in on the day I left was all like "I know who you are."

And I asked him to tell me, but he refused, so I asked him to lie, he said "Your the son of Lucifer".

Now I know that's not true, mostly because I asked him to lie to tell me what he knew.

Also, 'there is truth behind every lie.' This is a very useful method of thinking. People can lie without knowing. Mostly because its how they are educated, or raised. Religion and Science are at fault for this. Science has declared that God doesn't exist, but hasn't proved it. Religion says god does exist, but also can't prove it. This creates a double negative.

How can Science, which is routed in truth and proof, can say god doesn't exist.

Now what is god? Christians seem to worship Zeus. Look at the imagery they create. Personally I've had visions which show Jesus and Zeus. Zeus looks like an old-ish man with white hair, beard and such. Much like an image of Zeus looks like, which is also how the Christian god is portrayed. However there is great conflict between those who believe in the Christian God, and those who believe in Allah, who is also supposed to be the God.

Now when you think about it, this is kind of contradicting. How can two different religions who believe in a single major God, be opposed? Think of the crusades. Who started them? Now am I saying one side is right? No.

The problem is that there is a god for humans. But then their is also a god for everything, and equally for nothing. For what can't exist is Zero, for what should is One, for what shouldn't is Negative One.

This breaks down to God and Devil, but whose this third party? Math plays a important part in life, we know this….

Now I've read some interesting things, like look up 'evil demon' theory, in which an evil all knowing creature can manipulate your life. However the alternate is truth. 1+1=2. We know this as truth. Two points equals two. You know this is true based on the basic principles of math.

Math seems to be a good way to find out truth, but its also tricky to apply this to real life.

Does someone like you or hate you? Its hard to say. You don't know if someone is fucking with you. This creates a problem.

Now consider this, we are living creatures. If your alive, then you should want to live, right? Now when you have things, yourself or others trying to get you to die, theirs something wrong with that. Life is about striving to continue living. Death is the end of life.

Now death should only come when its your time. You're old, your dying from sickness. That makes sense, you're destined to die at those points. Now when you want to die, but otherwise your fine, whats going on?

This brings in the 'evil demon' theory, someone wants you to give up and fail. If it can't do that, it'll try and fuck you. However, its not like this is unavoidable. At the base of nature, you want to live. No one is born to want to die. Its not logical.

Consider this, nothing is absolute, you are supposed to live until you die from anything but your own choosing.

Things in life may want you to kill yourself. This is not the answer. Suicide carries real consequences whether you want to believe it or not.

If you kill yourself, I assure you will regret it. Doomed to wander the Earth without form. Sadly this applies to people killed. They are stuck in the middle. Ghosts as it were.

So lets take suicide as a negative, bad choice. There are other options, you can run away, become a vagrant, anything. Living is better than killing yourself. You get fucked if you kill yourself, because you judge yourself to death.

No matter how bad things get, have faith in yourself. Now if you're a shitty ass-hole person, that's a different story. Are you damned for being so? Not really. You still have a chance. this is all a game until you die.

Now its kind of depressing for some to think of life as a game. There are real consequences in life. The game of life is serious as fuck. However, like any game, its best played with a cool head. Think of it. If you're pissed, could you beat a game? Maybe, but your chances are better if you're in a good state of mind.

So in conclusion for today's rant, live your life. Don't kill yourself. Never think things are hopeless or you lose.

If you think of life as a game that's trying to defeat you with depression, know that looking to the positive side, no matter how small, is the best method.