Fetch a Super Soaker: Existentialism with Taizen Chisou

Posted by Taizen Chisou on Nov. 3, 2011, 2:06 a.m.

I've been reading a lot of cheery apocalypse scenarios and once again find myself thinking about ZA WARUDO.

I've come up with a formula for the passage of time! Are you prepared for it?

T = 1 / Perception

Brilliant!

"Perception," here, being a ratio of 'the time you feel passing, versus time itself.'

Here's where you say, "But, Taizen, that's recursive! You can't define a variable with an equation that uses the variable!"

Fuck that! This is the world! The world doesn't make sense!

All right, now, see here: You will invariably spend a majority of your existence with "P" as 1.

There are probably changes to that value, such as when you sleep, or are quite absorbed in some frivolous little task.

"Time flies when you're having fun," they say.

Well, when you're dead, Perception is 0.

1 / 0 = infinity.

Therefore, time speeds to infinity when you stop perceiving it.

The universe ends when you die!

Why does this meaningless statement make sense to me?

Oh, it's 1:35 AM and I have school in the morning.

Your perception of time while asleep is probably like 0.2 or something.

Either way, you can probably agree with me if I were to say that seven hours could be better spent asleep and doing nothing, than being awake and doing nothing.

I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway. I might terminate the universe :V

But when the matter of the Universe expands far enough and it's gravity enacts the Big Crunch, and it does crunch, then Universe The Second is right around the corner.

I'd like to believe that the Big Bang or some other sort of universal creation started some x years ago.

The passage of time on a cosmic scale is fast, though.

Blip.

There were humans on this planet some… 5,000,000,000 years ago?

Oh, what a shame, that planet doesn't exist anymore.

Let's try again in 2*10^12 years when the Universe resets.

The odds of life existing are super low, though. But it isn't as if there aren't already billions of exoplanets just floating around out there.

But who says that this is the first universe, either?

I find it incredibly unlikely that we are.

It's really hard to imagine the sheer absence of everything before creation.

I'm not a religious person, so my answer isn't God.

I also don't think that universal timelines are cyclical, as in, like, "in 2.4*10^12 years, a Fomo Wapien named Daizen Zhidou posts his existential rants on a NetSlab called 53digits, and is called dumb by all."

So like yeah. This is totally it.

There's no such thing as an afterlife, either.

Given that human beings are oddly constructed messes of molecules that are arranged in pretty enough patterns to cause them to "think," I don't believe that there is a spirituality among them. No 'soul' will rise from these atomic collages and ascend into some new astral plane.

I'd like to believe that "past lives" or these supposed "afterlives" are bridges between universe, whenever one individual dies, opposed to another, and the timeline that is skewed from their perception is born into a new universe. A new universe where all Creation and history plays out entirely differently.

The sentience we had acquired was merely a façade stemming from conveniently placed atoms. Why do we have it, again?

"We think, therefore we are."

We are what?

Isn't it ironic that man can think and yet cannot come up with an explanation as to how, or why he can think?

2:00 AM.

That's funny, writing this felt like about ten minutes.

But now that I notice it, time feels slower, and I'm getting sleepy.

Oi. It's 2:02. That took forever and I am tired as fuck.

I'll try not to destroy the universe.

Sorry for the rant

I promise I'll get back to game blogs eventually

Comments

JuurianChi 13 years, 1 month ago

Father of invention is a great way to detox the mind and soul and become one with the cosmos.

Join us Dave.

We have cookies.

Taizen Chisou 13 years, 1 month ago

Cookies are not going to detox the angsty, existential clump that identifies himself as "Dave."

There is no becoming one with the cosmos, either.

"Treat uninitialized values as 0" is on, so when you die the universe ends :P