"Makes us do things."

You're making me want to do an art blog.

The "draw weird shapes" one reminds me of Dali's melting clocks/landscapes.

But yeah, I love the first one, it's very balanced/has good overall composition to it. And you portrayed silence and noise pretty darn well too.

Oh my god, it's Sakamoto.

Taizen, I'd like to see your take on digital art.

Thanks y'alls.

Do eeeeeet.

The landscape deal wasn't even a thing that he asked for. I just turned it into one and I feel like it turned out pretty well.

> Yoshio Sakamoto?

Thank you?

I figure I could pull some pretty stupid shit given a tablet and SAI. :D

Why use SAI when you can use FireAlpaca?

That was a pretty cool story actually. I found it unclear in a bunch of parts (i.e. how some of the characters relate to each other exactly), and it felt like the blue-haired girl traveled through almost too quickly, but the characterization/dialogue was good and the idea was interesting.

i felt so proud of myself for actually knowing who that is right up until kilin said

then i was just confused

:c

That story is a confusing mess of disembodied dialogue spoken by undeveloped characters who are mainly just sitting around. Your tenses also get messed up at points.

I think the main problem with it is that there is no movement. No action. It relies on the characters' conversations, yet you give little explanation of who these characters are or why we should care about them. And they never DO anything. They just walk from one conversation to another in an incredibly disjointed way. And they eat. Boy do they eat!

I mean, I get that the girl is supposed to be mysterious. But the way you are trying to express this is by having her say things that don't make any sense. I'm really not so sure that YOU, the writer, even knows what is going on.

This has a very distinct "seat-of-your-pants" writing style. Starting the story with your main character waking up and doing all these mundane things is a dead give away. It's like you are just writing, waiting for the story to unfold before you. This is okay for brainstorming, but not much else.

I suggest you START the story when the girl first enters the classroom. I mean, that's the first interesting thing that happens. Do some character exposition. Get inside the main character's head. Let us know what he's thinking when he first sees the girl. Let us know what he's thinking as he sits in his classes. Let us know his internal reactions to the bat-shit things this girl is saying (and the bat-shit clothing she's wearing.) As it is, he just comes across as an unaffected observer who gives the reader very little to identify with. And please be more clear as to whose mouth spoken dialogue is coming out of.

Sorry if I'm coming across as too critical. Writing is very, VERY hard. This story is riddled with first-timer mistakes. If no one points them out to you, you'll never be able to fix them.

I'm sorry, but there was only so much I could have done. It was a school assignment, you see, one that everyone else wrote two-paragraph essays for.

I had to trim out about 60% of like, everything.

As for the action, I'm a very inactive person.

I don't write action very well.

Yeah. I understand it was a school assignment and time was limited. But you put it out there, so I figured you wanted some constructive criticism. Personally, I hate it when I post something and no one comments on it. Or people just say "good job."

Again, sorry if it was harsh. Didn't mean to be a dick.