Been a while, hasn't it? I bet none of you even care.

Let's get down to business.

Ok, so I finally got my learner's permit yesterday. Yeah, that's right, I'm 17 years old, and I JUST got my PERMIT.

Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Speaking of which, I'm also taking driver's ed at my highschool. Every time we meet, we spend about an hour and a half in the car, either driving or observing a peer driving, and then another hour and a half in a boring-ass lecture.

The driving part is going much better than I expected since, well, last Friday(during class) was the first time I'd ever actually operated a motor vehicle. It nearly ended it catastrophe.

Now here I am, having only been driving for a few days, and I'm actually on the road, driving around different cities and such with minimal mishaps. My teacher actually told me I was the most improved driver he's ever had. Cool stuff.

Let's see… what else is there to talk about…

Oh yeah, the inevitable subject - women.

<hr size = 7>

At this point I've pretty much given up on finding a girl who suits me. I'm pretty much sick of the bullshit that I endure on a daily basis, and the last thing I need on top of it is worrying about finding the right girl for me. So basically, fuck it. I've had it with the stupid little things like crushes, "love at first sight," and infatuation. I've had it with going out of my way just to see or talk to some girl I'm interested in, actually taking time out of my schedule every day, only to find out she's already going out with some other guy, who I happen to hold an immense fucking hatred for. It blows my mind how the decent girls end up with fucking assholes who don't deserve them.

It also doesn't help that I've never even had a real girlfriend before, which means I'll become attached to pretty much any girl that I spend some amount of time with. It's fucking pathetic, and I hate myself for it. Oh yeah, and let's not forget the fact that I'm pretty much falling for a previous crush all over a-fucking-gain, and how the girl who I asked out some months ago <b>STILL</b> is not talking to me.

<hr size = 7>

<h3>Music and such:</h3>

I've been getting myself back into creative writing, trying to improve my ability to plan out complex yet effective rhyme schemes and meters. Also, 90% of the poems/songs I've written in the past few months have been angry in nature, filled with profanity and whatnot. Actually, the same girl who won't talk to me in person actually sent me an email regarding a song I wrote on a blogging site that was particularly nasty: "Maybe I am paranoid… but I think this is about me"

Ok, I admit, I worked some of my raw anger at the whole situation between me and her into that piece, but it's not like I hate her, I'm just mad that she won't respond to my many attempts to make peace with her; plus, there are so many other things that piss me off or upset me, that sometimes, I literally break down and sob sometimes just thinking about them(another reason I keep my emotions bottled up). So that piece was also a way for me to release my deep-rooted rage and sorrow, as well as creative writing practice.

All anger aside, I kinda want to shift gears and write some more sentimental and softer stuff. A recent inspiration for me is Three Days Grace's <i>Never Too Late</i>. It's really an awesome song.

*sigh*

I guess that's all for now.

Thanks for tuning in, folks.