This is a copy from my <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/firestormx" target="_blank">sitD</a>. I figured I should copy it over, 'cause I don't write here much.

<b>Words:</b> 4,200

<b>Average reading time (At 250 words/minute):</b> 17 minutes

So, it's time for my annual birthday writing thing.

I don't want it to be my birthday.

I want everyone to forget it's my birthday.

So I'm writing this entry to make sure you all forget that it's my birthday today. *nods head*

I'm 17 now. 17 is such an ugly number. 16 is such a stereotypical number, but I've grown quite attached to it, and it's a lot more attractive than 17. Nowhere near as pretty as 19 (or any other number ending in a 9, except for 39…Which reminds me, I really need to find out how old my mom is, 'cause the last birthday I remember, she was 39…Which probably makes her pretty happy.) and 21. 21 just looks nice though. I live in Canada, and shit's legal at 19, not 21. *remembers jokes about America, where you can buy a gun at 19, but booze at 21, so you ask for alcohol, but he won't sell you any, so you buy a gun and hold him up*

…I feel awkward accepting money for my birthday. I have this intense compulsion to keep track of the money I make and spend, and accepting ANY money from ANYONE kicks me in the face. No particular reason why, it doesn't mess up my records or anything, it just feels weird and dirty and ew.

Needless to say, my parents love me.

OH! I have a bunch of half-written entries somewhere, but I really don't feel like trying to find them.

Quick update on my life:

Remember Deanna? Sure ya' do. Well now you don't have a reason to, you creepy stalker person, 'cause now she's gone, and you need to get a life.

Remember all the raves I went to? Probably not. But I've started raving, thanks to <a href="http://sitdiary.net/mikyyyy" target="_blank">Mikey</a>.

I've come to the conclusion that I hate pot (both 'cause I smoke it 'till I'm sick, as well as the basic social acceptance behind it. "Oh, it won't kill your brain cells!" "Nope. It'll just put them to sleep, and we have no way of waking them up again…Much like Walt Disney is frozen right now, but he'll be back." Or "Oh, pot isn't addictive" "Neither is heroin. If it's not addictive, then you should stop smoking it when your man-boobs start giving you back problems."), and that I love alcohol. Alcohol is amazing. I'm the happiest drunk in the world (next to Mikey), and then when I'm alone, it'll make the me the most miserable person in the world. I love it. It's so becoming a compulsion for stress and helplessness. And finally, raving on ecstasy is one of the best fucking feelings in the world. The [up to] two years of dysthymia I'm going through because of the amphetamines is fucking shit though. Coincidentally, the last time I rolled was on Valentine's, which three years ago was when I asked Deanna out. We lasted a little over two years, and the dysthymia can last up to two years. Deanna had a way of making everything seem enjoyable, and ecstasy has this thing of making nothing enjoyable.

Now I think I'm just gonna be like Mike. Go to majour raves, get drunk when possible, and…Well, I'm not gonna have random sex, but I'll totally hit y'all up with random drunken e-mails if you want.

No one has any clue what I'm getting at, so I'll skip on a little.

So basically, I'm a bit nuts with drugs now. Not so much abusing them, as researching them. I always loved behavioural sciences, and this summer I started hanging around a lot of substance abusers and it made me curious about addictions and chemicals and stuff. I've also been listening to Loveline a lot (if you don't know what it is, then you're going to think I'm a loser 'cause of the name of the show. It's a great show, and not as pathetic as the title makes it sound. =P) and Dr Drew has pretty much become one of my main role models. I like to think that if he had a mustache, I'd grow one too.

So I love learning about how drugs work, why they do things to you, why your chemicals get screwed up, the withdrawal symptoms, what parts of your brain get shredded to fuck, etc.

Yet I was still really eager to try them. Yes, I'm an idiot. I know what they do, and I still wanted to try them.

However, now that I'm experiencing a few of the after-effects of amphetamines, I'm like "fuck this shit, I'm not doing anymore stimulants".

But I still really really want to try smoke crystal and rail coke, but I can't. I just…Can't. It's like me wanting to be in a car accident, or get shot, or have something bigger than a cherry bomb blow up in my hands…

However, I'm still open to trying downers. (not so much halis, 'cause they don't really appeal to me, and they TOTALLY FUCK YOU UP, WITH BARELY ANY PATHALOGICNESS WHAT-SO-EVER.) If someone offered me heroin, I'd probably try it…Just 'cause it's more physical misery than mental misery.

I can go on and on about drugs (and sound really retarded about it), but again, it must be cut short. Now I'm thinking I want to be a doctor (totally inspired by Scrubs. <3)…Preferably a psychologist…And then preferably an addiction specialist.

I know the last few paragraphs make me sound like a retard, but I make up for it in mah madd listenin'-'n'-noddin' skills.

Moving on with my life, I've started buying CDs. I buy maybe 2-4/month, just 'cause I can hop on a bus and go to HMV directly from my work.

btw, I had to sign some shit the other day for my work, which takes me from a temp student person, to an actual part time employee.

Which is really shitty, 'cause now I have to do work.

Before, I could have just been like "I don't want to work".

Now it's like "for a few more dollars/hour, you're the boss's bitch. Come in for two hours and move those boxes around."

I SPENT 19 HOURS CLEANING AND SORTING THIS WHOLE ROOM OF SHIT, AND A WEEK LATER, IT'S A MESS AGAIN, AND NOW 8 MONTHS LATER, I'M TASKED WITH SORTING IT ALL, SO THAT IT CAN BE THROWN OUT EFFICIENTLY. HABIGABLAHBOO!

I'm really unhappy with this.

It was kinda forced on me too.

I really don't want a "part time position".

I just want to be "that kid who comes in on weekends and at nights when we have a really repetitive task."

It was fuckin' awesome. I was getting paid $10/hour to do like, nothing. I wasn't even an employee there. I could eat in the server room, and no one would walk in and be like "OMG, I'M TELLING HR ON YOU!"…'Cause HR didn't know I was there…Very few people knew.

Now for a few bucks more, I suddenly have responsibilities and rules and shit.

*sigh* having a well-paying-job-for-my-level-of-education-and-experience handed to me is such a bitch.

What else is new…Oh, I'm going to a new church now. The youth group is awesome, I love it. They meet on a different day than the normal church service, so it's…Better, I think.

We break up into small groups after the teaching and stuff, to do whatever we want (discuss stuff, socialize, whatever) and my small group leader turns out to be the IT guy for the network of churches. (Or something like that. Basically he's the techy) I'm like "wow. This is awesome. <3". (His name's Larry, btw)

It's a fairly big youth group too, and the people are friendly, and a lot of them are really fucked up.

Oh! Oh! I went on this youth retreat a few weeks ago, and this girl (Monica), Larry, and I went out swimming in the lake, and we broke a bunch of the ice and stuff. Monica was like "I want to go swimming now", and Larry was like "let's go", so we kicked off our shoes and ran in. When I went to walk out, I couldn't lift my legs. XD

A little while after that, we had some fun in the mud. All the snow had melted earlier that week, but then it had snowed again, but the ground was still warm, so it melted, but it was still like, freezing temperatures. Anyway, there's this huge field, and we were all split into four teams. I was the red. Reppin' red fo' life bitch. There was paint involved. I won't go into all that, but there's some stuff behind it, but that's not important.

The first game we did, was this game where the four teams had a corner in a mud pit (the girls had their own pit…It's funny, 'cause the guys were so into our pit, that some of the teachers and stuff who didn't play, commented on how none of the guys even glanced at the girls mud wrestling. XD) and we were each given a tire and a ball. The goal is to put your ball through another team's tire, and you can do whatever it takes to either get it all the way through, or to prevent the other team from doing it to you. And you get an additional five points if you get someone from another team out of the pit. Naturally, it just broke down into chaos, and you could tell right from the beginning that everyone knew points wouldn't be kept track of, but you should go all out anyway. Oh, and you have to do all this on your knees.

In a game like this, I'd usually just sit back and guard the tire, and when another team charges at me (it was awesome, someone would shout out "SCORE ON THE BLUES!", and everyone would just turn, and slaughter them) I'd run away. But I actually got into it. As soon as it started, Larry came in and knocked like three reds out of the square, then he picked me up and (literally) threw me out, so I waited outside for 30 seconds (the rules), and then I charged in again and grabbed him from behind while he was pushing someone else out, then he turned around again, and threw me out, and then it happened once more. Then it happened with a few other people (one guy actually lifted me over his head…Granted, he was down pretty low, but still) but it was tons of fun. I actually knocked someone off a tire, and helped hold off another team member, while helping one of my team mates score.

Holy shit was I ever manly. *grins cockily and rubs the 5 o'clock shadow on my chin*

Overall, it was awesome. But the nights were pretty sad, 'cause I couldn't sleep, and I was pissed off at Shay, and I didn't know what to do, and there was an LCBO right down the road (which is quite far away, 'cause the campground is fucking huge…There were supposedly three other groups there, and I barely ever saw anyone from them) and I would bundle up and go outside at like 4am with a book and some music, and be like "mmm, numb misery would be nice right now".

Am I pathetic? Probably.

I will attempt to re-affirm myself through someone else. Namely, Shay. 'Cause I haven't written a real entry since I met her, and apparently we're best friends, and now I hate her guts a lot of the time, and she has to repay me for me doing a shit load of work for her, but whatever. This entry is dedicated to her, I suppose.

Oh, speaking of which, if you live in Ontario, and you're 18, and you don't even have your G1 yet (aka, if you're name's Shay, and you're gay. (She claims she's not gay, even though her name rhymes with it, which means she obviously is)) then I should remind you of the notes:

<div style="border: 1px solid black">Check page 17 for a list of things they test on.

— Basic Numbers to Remember —

- 30 days, 60 days

- One year, Three years, Ten years, a lifetime

- 2 DP = Letter, 6 DP = interview, 9 DP = 60 day suspension. DP gets reset to 6 after suspension.

- 6 DP = warning, 9 DP = interview, 15 DP = 30 day suspension. DP gets reset to 7 after suspension.

- 50Km/h in villages/cities/built up areas, 80Km/h anywhere else.

- 150M, or 60M

- You must call the police if damage exceeds $1000

— Basic/random notes to remember —

- Always yield when unsure. For example, when facing oncoming traffic in your lane in a traffic zone, with no one directing traffic, yield to oncoming traffic, and go when the way is clear.

- When unsure, always come to a complete stop. For example, the test may ask "when making a right turn at a red light…a) blare your horn and hit the corner as fast as you can, b) Slow down before the intersection, so that you can make a safe turn after all other vehicles have crossed the intersection, c) Come to a complete stop at the intersection, look left, right, then left again, then if the way is clear, make the turn."

- Places to stop: stop line, if no stop line, then stop at the crosswalk, then at the edge of sidewalk, and finally, at the edge of intersection. (not really important)

- When you're pulling over on a one-way road, you can pull over to the right, or the left, rather than just the right side. (for trick questions)

- In most cases, yield to vehicles to the right.

- In a four-way stop sign intersection, yield to the vehicle that comes to a stop first.

- Read the part about blank traffic lights on page 92.

— Seatbelts —

- Drivers that don't buckle up can be fined up to $500.

- G1 and G2 drivers who do not wear a seat belt, or do not ensure there is a working seat belt for every passenger can lose their license for 30 days.

- Never put more than one person in a seat belt.

- Children 12 years or younger are safest in the back seat, away from the airbags

— Traffic Signs and Lights —

- A flashing red beacon is practically the same as a stop light.

- A flashing yellow beacon over construction or an obstacle means "caution".

- Make sure you take note that the crossed out left/right turn arrow means no left/right turns at that intersection. (the right arrow one means no right turns on a red light, left means no left turns period)

- Get a basic idea of what the sign "types" look like/inform you about, from the section about signs. One of the questions on my test was "this sign…a) means x, b) means y, c) means z, d) is a regulatory sign".

— Emergency Vehicles —

- When approaching a parked emergency vehicle on the side of a highway with more than one lane, you must change lanes if you're in the lane (on the far left/right) that the vehicle has pulled off of.

- You must pull over to the side of the road for emergency vehicles approaching from behind. (On a one way street, you can pull over to the left, or right)

- Stay back 150M from fire trucks or ambulances.

— Headlights —

- Overdriving headlights is when your stopping distance is farther than your headlights can see.

- When facing oncoming headlight glare, look up, beyond, and slightly to the right.

- When an oncoming vehicle is within 150M of you, you must switch to lowbeams.

- When following a vehicle within 60M, switch to lowbeams. (roughly half of 150M)

- When approaching corners or hills, where you can not see oncoming vehicles, dim your headlights so that you can see vehicles approaching, and if there are none approaching then turn your headlights back up. If there are vehicles approaching, keep your lowbeams on, so as not to blind the driver as s/he comes around the corner.

- Use lowbeams in fog, as moisture reflects light.

— Speed Limits —

- 50Km/h in villages/cities/built up areas, 80Km/h anywhere else.

— Getting on and off the Highway —

- You'd have to be a complete tard to not know how to do this. If you don't do it right, you're gonna get wrecked anyway, so whatevah to ya.

— Dealing with Streetcars and Busses —

- When a bus comes to a stop to drop off passengers, you must stop too

- Come to a complete stop 20M from the back of the bus, if you are approaching from behind.

- You must come to a complete stop if you are in the opposite direction of the bus, if there is no divider between the directions. (You do not have to stop 20M back though)

- Pass street cars on the right.

- You do not need to stop at street car drop off island in the middle of the road, but you are expected to go at reasonable speeds, and be alert for sudden pedestrian movement.

- When street cars stop, stay 2M back from the back door. (not the back of the street car)

— Passing other vehicles —

- Do not pass within 20 M of pedestrian crossings

- Read the steps to passing or changing lanes, just so you can recognize the steps if you are asked "what to do when passing" on a multiple choice question.

- I'm not really sure where this would go, but this was actually on the test, so make sure you remember your hand signals for if you have no signals on your vehicle. In Ontario, you'll usually be using your left hand to signal. Remember:

- Having your arm straight out means you're pointing that you're going left.

- Having your arm up, is like pointing over your vehicle, to indicate you're turning right. Remember that it's like you're signals in your car. Moving it upwards turns on the right-hand signal.

- Having your arm down, means you're pointing at the ground, and the driver of the vehicle behind you should look at the ground, so that when you brake, they won't notice, and will rear end you.

- Having either arm in view of the driver behind you, with the middle finger up, means that the driver already has rear ended you.

— Driver License Suspensions —

- If your license has been suspended, canceled, or expired for more than three years, you must re-apply.

— G1/2 Drivers —

- You can get suspended if you get, or exceed 9 Demerit Points (DP) in 2 years.

- 2 DP = a letter

- 6 DP = possible interview

- If you don't go to the interview, you will be suspended

- 9 DP = suspension for 60 days.

- After being suspended, you will be returned to 4 DP

- Read page 106 - 107

- You will get your license suspended for 30 days if you have any alcohol in your blood (actual question on the test)

— G Drivers —

- 6 DP = you will be told about your record, and will be urged to improve

- 9DP = Interview to give reasons to keep your license, and possible driver re-evaluation

- If re-evaluation is failed, your license will be canceled.

- If you fail to give good reason at the interview, or fail to attend, you will be suspended.

- 15 DP = 30 day suspension from the point you hand in your license.

- Read page 105

- If you are convicted of failing to stop for a police officer, and the court believes you willfully avoided police during pursuit, you license will be suspended for five years.

- If a G1/2 has a blood-alcohol level higher than 0. (any alcohol in them at all)

- You can be suspended for medical reasons.

- You can have your license suspended for 90 days if you fail, or refuse to give a blood sample when asked by police, or if your blood alcohol concentration is more than 80 milliGRAMS in 100 milliLITRES, of blood. (0.08)

- Basically, read through page 103, 108-110 There's a lot of stuff in there, and I'd basically just be reprinting the book in here. (I covered most of the main points though)

— Demerit Point System —

- You'll have to memorize these on your own…I didn't have anything about DP in my test, but you never know. However, here are some ways to remember (yes, I know they're lame, but who doesn't even have their G1, hmm?):

- 7 Points: The police will be involved somehow.

- 6 Points: Acting the way you do in pretty much every driving game

- 5 Points: The odds that you'll ever commit this offense are…Quite fuckin' small.

- 4 Points: You gotta be going fairly fast to be following too closely. (but not too fast, so you don't hit the other driver, and send him/her flying out their back window)

- 3/2 Points: Eh, it's all general now, gl hf n00b.

— Collision Reporting —

- You are required to call police if injuries or property damage exceeds $1000

- You are required by law to exchange information in a crash, no matter how expensive the damages are.

- You should read the section on collision safety and stuff, just so you can actually be a good driver. Wouldn't you feel retarded if someone died because you didn't know to pull someone out of a burning car?</div>

That was for Shay, btw, incase you did end up reading all that.

Oh, btw, I have my G1 (in Canada you get your G1, which means you can drive with a fully licensed person in the vehicle, then you get your G2, then your G…I don't really get the difference between G2 and G, but that's okay) which doesn't really mean much. For some of the stuff I had to fill out for work, one of them was a disabilities thing. One of the questions was do I have any mental illnesses. I do not, but when I'm alone in the office, I like to walk across the street to the store, buy an energy drink or two, and then do laps. Sometimes the cleaning crew show up, and that's kind of embarrassing, but whatever. That's just me abusing my I'm-alone-in-a-big-office powers…Nothing to do with manicness. The relevant question to this paragraph though, is that it asked if I had any driving disabilities…And I had to check "yes", and write that I only had my G1…That's pretty embarrassing. It's a lot better than if I was like 25, but still.

In the vein of new things, I am now roughly a month and a half behind in my school work. I've never been this far behind before…The cool part, is that the school hasn't e-mailed me about it or anything yet. It's kind of scary, 'cause I know they're planning something now.

I want to get my school done, but it's just…So…Fuck.

I kinda just fell apart a few days before the youth retreat I told you about [thanks mostly to Shay], and since then, I've decided to just take a break from everything, and try get it back together.

And now the science I'm doing (it's grd 10 science, 'cause I take a long time to do my grd 9/10 required courses) is trying to teach me about physics.

Now I, as a total nerd, completed grd 12 calculus at the age of 14.

This course is trying to teach me about acceleration.

And it's totally fucked.

And it's trying to teach about instantaneous velocity, and IT'S NOT THE RIGHT WAY TO DO IT! THE ONLY WAY TO GET AN EXACT ANSWER IS THROUGH CALCULUS! They're like "okay, pick two points close to it, and blah blah blah"…THAT'S AN ESTIMATE! YOU HAVE TO DIVIDE BY 0 TO GET IT EXACT! WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME WITH THIS BULLSHIT?! ADFLJSADFLJSFHSAKFH

IT'S ALL JUST SO…FUCKING…*ponders*…FLAWED! It's like they don't even know what acceleration is!

Similarly, grd 9-11 math is so basic! I was doing someone's math (I do people's math courses for them, btw. Don't tell anyone.) and they were teaching about powers.

There were people actually struggling with these questions.

Granted, it took me like three hours of frustration to figure out how a basic y = mx + b works, but I was TEN at the time. These people are like five years older. They should be able to comprehend this shit by now.

I blame the damn hippies and their illegal narcotics. >:(

Anyway, now that Scott is <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/news/?post=comment_form&entry_id=272195" target="_blank">getting sitD back in motion</a>, I'm thinking I might start posting short random things in here every so often.