Gander in awe at my title, and be blessed with the knowledge that yes, kevboh has jumped on the proverbial "bandwagon" and rather comically appended the sad, lonely truth as a prefix to his illustrious titles.

Now, let us return to the topic at hand. I am currently tasked with the unusual mission of building a website around a community. That is, the online community technically already exists, but, as I am a genius, the drive to convert the community to something streamlined and self-powered was too great: I gave in.

Now, I am in the throes of php, which has become my lapdog and my torturer. Most of the time, the code flies from my fingers like the white glove of a duel, but on occasion I would rather have a vice 'round my nethers than figure a problem out.

My current problem: how do you create a file upload system? No, don't tell me the whole move_uploaded_file deal: I'm getting errors talking smack about Forbidden access and open_basedir paths. See the forum.

Naturally, I am beset with raw emotion over such a blatantly irritating error. I daresay I stomped my foot on the ground and unleashed a wild war cry, the likes of which have not been heard in the States since Howard Dean.

I am fairly sure that, upon hearing my bloodied voice, the Earth shivered.

So, if any of you mere mortals have chanced upon some fix for my problems, or have taken an interest in my emotional appeal, you may comment here or send me a brilliant PM which will alleviate my pain and lead to those seeing you as my near equal.

Yours,

Kevin.