I love Cadbury creme eggs. My favourite tea mug is a creme egg mug. I've been known to stock up on creme eggs during Easter to try and make it through the rest of the year when they are unavailable.
When I am not on the computer doing programming I often like to do cooking or baking. As a result over the past three days I did something I've always wanted to: made a giant creme egg! (There - that's my tenuous link from game development to giant creme eggs. Now onto the fun stuff!)
Ingredients:-2.2kg icing sugar-1.85kg Cadbury dairy milk chocolate-1kg golden syrup-350g butter-5 tablespoons of vanilla essence-Yellow food colouring (though you should use orange)Tools:-Two 25cm x 17cm egg moulds-Mixing bowl large enough to place over your head-Pastry brushInstructions:1) Mix together the golden syrup and butter. Gradually add the icing sugar in, a little bit at a time. Once mixed thoroughly, you should have a bowl weighing over 3kg and tasting delicious. (Takes about 2 hours)
2) Place mixture in the fridge, then perform steps 3 to 7.3) Melt the chocolate over boiling water, starting with just about 200g.
4) Put a little bit of oil in each egg mould, and use the pastry brush to spread it around.5) Using the pastry brush, paint a layer of melted chocolate onto the egg moulds. Paint slightly beyond the edge of the mould. Don't make the layers too thick.
6) Put the moulds in the fridge for 10 to 15 minutes (such that the chocolate is no longer runny). Then repeat step 5: keep repeating this process until all chocolate has been used up. This amounted to 14 layers of chocolate, over the course of nearly 4 hours.7) Leave in the fridge overnight.
8) With a sharp knife, cut the excess chocolate off that protrudes above the top of the mould. This should leave you with a flat chocolate plateau about half an inch wide all the way around.
9) Take the mixture out the fridge, and separate about 1/3rd of it into a separate bowl, and add lots of colouring to it. We used yellow food colouring, but that was a bit of an oversight - creme eggs are actually orange in the middle.10) With the egg halves still in their moulds, gradually add in the uncoloured mixture. Spread it around with a knife, making sure to spread the mixture up above the height of the mould - this is because the mixture is slightly elastic, and always returns to a smaller size than initially spread into. Leave a large dent in the middle of each egg.11) Fill the middle dents with the coloured mixture. Pray that you have enough to fill up to the top. Then leave in the fridge overnight (again).
12) Melt some more chocolate, and spread a thick layer all around the rim of one egg half. With both halves still in their moulds, place them adjacent such that they are symmetrical.13) Each egg half weighs approximately 2.5kg. Enlist the help of a fellow human being, and have them slowly lift up one egg half while you lift up the other, rotating both halves upwards until they stick together forming an egg shape, oddly enough.14) Carefully place the whole egg in a bowl for stability, and press around the mould to ensure the chocolate forms a tight seal all the way around. Place in the fridge for 1 hour.
15) Remove the egg from the fridge, and placing it horizontally in a bowl again, lift the top mould off. Cut all the excess chocolate off. Flip the egg over and remove the other mould. Use paper towels when touching the egg to avoid it melting.16) Pose the egg for some saucy shots.
17) Wonder what on earth you will now do with this monstrosity. Take into account the following facts:-It weighs 5kg;-It contains approximately 4000% of your GDA of sugar;-It is equivalent to about 125 Cadbury creme eggs.
Sorry about the gender confusion. It's my fault for not doing a intro.
I really want chocolate now.Is that My Little Pony Heinz?
Silly Applejack.
You're not a Heinz mascot.For those concerned, here is an update on the situation:
Chocolate surgery was a success.Creme egg logo added for completeness.Now the egg sits in the cupboard again next to Applejack*. In order to consume this monstrous creation I will most certainly require the aid of many other fellow humans. Coincidentally, we also posses a large container of home brew beer that would require a multitude of people to consume. Perhaps the two events could be combined - a beer and creme egg evening.*I think I bought that Applejack Heinz thing almost a year ago. I found it rather amusing for some reason. I suppose in my mind I pictured a scenario where a young child who watches MLP would be going through the store with their parents, and suddenly they see Applejack on a product. Their eyes light up, and they point it out to their parent expressing how much they want it, simply because it has a pony on - not because of the contents of the tin. The parent sees the joy in their child's eyes, and once they take into account the low price of the Heinz tin (about 30p iirc), they immediately decide to add it to their shopping cart - much to their child's delight. The tin is then promptly forgotten about, buried beneath the usual avalanche of groceries, assorted necessities and plentiful luxuries. If you're looking for a deeper meaning to this brief imaginary tale I just told, I'm afraid I don't have one for you, though I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to fabricate one yourself. Perhaps it is a metaphor for consumerism, or our susceptibleness to product placement. Either way, that tin has been in my cupboard for a long time. I store my tea in that cupboard as well, so it is a view I am greeted with many, many times a day - so much so that the rest of the contents become a mere blur, they are viewed but not perceived. Every once in a while though my perception points out that tin, with that happy stock image of Applejack, and I smile to myself because the face is kinda derpy.