AMERICAN JOKES

Posted by mazimadu on April 1, 2011, 11 p.m.

This joke is inspired by a video I watched of Michael McIntyre (who is not American) on youtube. This entire joke is fictional, so don’t take this the wrong way.

I was invited over to a comedy club some time ago in the depths of downtown Manhattan. Places like these are where the big TV comedians sometimes come around to try out new techniques, test their material and refine their skills. So naturally, I expected to find a few crude jokes here and there. But because of the loose environment, it is also a place where some of the most flimsy, offensive material gets produced.

So for the opening act this guy comes up on stage and tells a joke of how he scored with a hot chick. It went like this:

“Yo there was this one time I went to this bar, and there was this GORGEOUS, SMOKING HOT Brazilian model. Just sitting there, drinking her martini. Now I hate pick up lines and LOVE to be direct. Makes me more manly (giggle from audience). So I went up to her and said:

I WANT SEX!!(Loud laughter)

SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX!! (Loud laughter)

Please. (Loud laughter)

And then scored for the night(giggle from audience).�.

That’s it. That was the joke. And the audience was screaming in near orgasmic hilarity. The men where banging the table while nodding their heads in agreement. Some of the women seemed to be losing their breath. I was confused. This joke lack structure. There was no proper setup, no twist, and no punch line. It was just a guy asking for sex. How pathetic.

An older more experienced member of the club came out and gave his joke. It went like this:

“I went to a Mexican restaurant the other day and ordered a platter of beans. The waiter brought it to me and, to my surprise, it looked like SHIT(laughter from audience). So I told him:

Hey, this food looks like SHIT (Very loud laughter)!

And he told me; Well that’s what it will look like when you go to bed(giggle from audience).â€?

While this one did follow some sort of structure, the audience only reacted when the word SHIT was mentioned. This made me feel as though I was among people with extremely shallow taste.

After a while the comedy crew asked for members of the audience to try their hand at standup and was willing to give “supportâ€? to anyone who might be seen as a novice. With my plan hatched, I got up and stepped onto the spotlight. I held the microphone in my hand and smiled, to let the audience know of the impending joke. And then I said in a loud, humorous tone:

“YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL STUPID!â€?

And was met with a very loud, jovial response of laughter. And then I put down the mic, and stepped down to my seat, escorted by thunderous applause.

Comments

Eva unit-01 13 years, 7 months ago

Ok nvm. Mighty Boosh wins all. How could I forget about them, they're the bosses best!

Edit: The word "boss" does not work that way.

Juju 13 years, 7 months ago

American comedy is largely awful.

Cesque 13 years, 7 months ago

I sort of found it funny when that first guy said this stuff about people combining together but then that other guy came on the stage and I stopped watching because he was crap.