I found something of slight entertainment value:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English

will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the

other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government

conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has

accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will

make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in

favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have

1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond

year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will

make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted

to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have

always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the

horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they

should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing

"th"

with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be

dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be

aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no

mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech

ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!