Fuck you all with your one picture blogs and 4chan shit, go to hell. It's my turn motherfuckers.

Morpheus says:

*ONCE UP ON A TIME

*There sat a man

*why he was sitting on time was only clear to him

*but he did it nonetheless, and in a stylish manner too

*when he had drank his morning coffe he adjusted his monocle and hopped upon his magical dragon

*it was just a normal day

*OR SO HE THOUGHT

**denananananananannanan guitar rock into*

*So when he got to the ALIEN TITTY BAR

*on his dragon

Tristan says:

*hmm

Morpheus says:

*he was like "hell yeah, I'ma shell out some galatic credits to see some freaky alien tentacle boobs"

*and he did some crack also

*cause british people do lots of crack

*did I mention he was british?

Tristan says:

*yep

Morpheus says:

*he was from the PLANET Britan

*cause, it's in SPACE

*and Britan conqured a PLANET

*and was like "FUCK OFF AMERICA, YOU SUCK, YOU'RE NOT RUNING THIS PLANET"

*but all old people became lepers and died at 90

*anyway

*he did some crack at the alien titty bar

*and hooked up with some chicks from BETELGUESE

*and he was like "Babay, wanna see my Orion" which turned them on

Tristan says:

*YAY CRACk

Morpheus says:

*(BETELGUESE IS A RED GIANT STAR, WHICH IS PART OF THE ORION CONSTELLATION, DUMBASS)

*so he totally hooked up with these freaky chicks

*and then he hopped back onto his magical space dragon and flew to Krypton!

*and Superman was banging lois lane

*and spock beamed down for an awesome threeway

*"human copulation quite interests me"

Tristan says:

*indeed

Morpheus says:

*cause he's a vulcan, and they talk like that

*and the awesome crack british dude

*whos name was Bob

*cause british people have dumb names

*like bob, and sid, and dan

*and stuff

*anyway

*bob was all like "hey baby, wanna see my death grip"

Tristan says:

*thats a lot to think about

Morpheus says:

*and spock got insulted

*and he totally deathgripped bob

*and sent him to the vulcan space academy

*but since bob was a british dude, and not vulcan

*he wasn't smart enough to pass

*so it took him 2 years to pass 1 day of schooling, and they finally sent him back to BRITAN(the planet)

*so he was like "man, I need some titty"

*so he was all like, going to the titty bar

*again

*and doing some crack

*and meth

*if they had it

*which they did

*cause aliens are druggies

*like major tom

Tristan says:

*heh

Morpheus says:

*did I tell you, major tom was there

*he saw bob and was all like "I showed those chicks some of my ground control, if you know what I mean"

*so that FREAKY alien chick that hooked up with bob was all like "BOB, THEY STOLE OUR SON"

*cause he like tapped that shit

*and she got knocked up

*with some freaky alien spawn

*5th element bullshit

*anyway he was like "whataaa?"

*and she was like "you knocked me up 2 years ago, I named our kid Dan"

*cause he was british

*and british people have dumb names

Tristan says:

*dan the man

Morpheus says:

*no

*dan the baby kidnapped by evil alien overlords

*get your shit straight

Tristan says:

*XD

Morpheus says:

*so bob was like "well shit, I'ma go all harison ford on them aliens and rescue dan"

*cause bob loved dan, cause of his dumb name

*cause he's british

*anyway

*bob hooked up with major tom and flew to the evil alien base on the BLACK STAR PLANET

*it's infested with mutated kenyan zombies

Tristan says:

*sounds awesome

Morpheus says:

*which run at 1000kmh

*cause bob is british

*and uses Km instead of Mi

*cause american sucks

*and uses Mi

*anyway

*so Bob and Major Tom like fucked up those kenyans

*and the poser kenyans too

*like Kayne West

*who's a douchebag

*and owns 100 planets

*and nobody likes him still

*cause he's a douchebag

*even in the year 2015

*where all this is taking place

*we got married

*did I tell you that?

*we're married

*in 6 years

*<3

Tristan says:

*awesome

Morpheus says:

*anyway

Tristan says:

*on planet zorg?

Morpheus says:

*yeah baby

Tristan says:

*yay

Morpheus says:

*So bob and major tom, who was jacked up on like metaheroinkima

*went into the evil alien overlord base

*and they were asian women!

*who were making the baby do asian shit

*like ride bycicles and drive bad

*so Bob was all like "STOP RIGHT THERE"

*and they were like "Whaaat arrr vuuu gannaaa duuuuu?"

*cause they were asian

Tristan says:

*lolol

Morpheus says:

*and then bob like whipped out his big white cock and they were like "PHREASE PHREASE"

*and he totally tapped that shit

*and stole Dan back

*and they went back to britan

*to there nice sized house

*with sexy robot butlers

*with laser beam eyes and shit

*and Bob was all like "whatev"

*and turned on the TV to watch The Office

*which is BRITISH

*cause america sucks

Tristan says:

*ew america

Morpheus says:

*yeah

*THE END

I know what you're thinking,"Oh god, you're awesome, and I'm just a little bitch like that MMORPGguy"