<i>The following blog post is a rant about things that are supposed to happen in <u>Half-Life 2: Episode Two</u>, but won't. Therefore, <b>there's gonna be a lotta spoilers</b>. So I'd actually suggest waiting until you've played <u>Half-Life 2: Episode One</u> before reading below this line, but oh well. Your choice.</i>

<b>-EPISODE TWO SPOILERS-</b>

Okay, so when you beat HL2 Episode One (not that I have), or just Google it, you can find the trailer for Half-Life 2: Episode Two. Or you can <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=n0l5N6Exjz0" target=_blank>click here</a>.

Go ahead. Get it. Watch it. Soil yourself.

When you're done, instead of going "OMFGWTFHAXXORZ!!," think calmly. Actually, let me do the thinking for you.

Here's <b>what we saw</b>, in the order that we saw it:

- Alyx hanging from a pipe jutting from a cliff

- Alyx letting go <b>of one arm</b>

- A grassy hill, with perhaps the destroyed Citidel in the background

- A Vortigaunt laying down Alyx's body, saying "This is more than anyone can bear, but we will persevere!"

- A clip of the awesome Mini-Striders running about (play Episode One) with Eli Vance's voice saying "We're done running – this is our chance to take back our world. We're not going to lose it a second time"

- Some more gameplay footage

- The title logo

Okay, now let's look at what <b>wasn't</b> shown:

- Alyx letting go of her other arm

- Alyx falling in any way

- Alyx dying in any way

- The G-Man

Now it's time to look at what <b>VALV^E's probably trying to do</b>:

- Get people to talk about it

- Get people to post blogs about it

- Get people to complain that it's going to take ten months for Episode Two to be released

So here's what's going on. Alyx didn't die. I dunno what happened to her, but she didn't die. Why? Because a.) she's awesome, b.) VALV^E wouldn't show us something important like that in a mere <i>trailer</i>, ten months from release date, if not to generate hype, c.) we didn't actually see her die, or even fall. So I've concluded that VALV^E is being retarded by trying to get us to believe crap to generate hype.

So I'm forgetting about it for ten months. That's my plan and I'm sticking with it.

<b>-END OF MASSIVE SPOILERS-</b>