ULTIMATE

http://www.box.net/shared/0yhysxgvjt

crush the crab's ambition

A: Jump

S: Slash

D: Special Button for stuff

Tap+Hold Forward: Run

Space: Menu

(Contains Riches in Me and Kyushu Ookaminagi with Pan playable though same cutscene)

The Ark of Philophiles

FADE IN:

EXT. REIGEN STREET – NIGHT

A crowded, bustling street of a town resembling one of the 1600’s.

KRISJAIN

I was walking down the street when this monk just slapped me.

FORDIN

My word! Really?

KRISJAIN

And stole my wallet.

FORDIN

Well, does that matter that much? You’re always poor.

KRISJAIN

Hm, I guess, but I have to exact my revenge.

FORDIN

You’re going against the Church? You can’t do that.

KRISJAIN

Indeed. That appears to be the only way to get my wallet back and I really need to buy a sandwich, really.

FORDIN

So you oppose God for a sandwich. God made the sandwich.

KRISJAIN

Lies. I’m sure Euclydes the deli guy made it. I must have that sandwich.

FORDIN

Fine. I shall accompany you.

FORDIN has joined your party.

KRISJAIN

No thanks. I only want female party members.

FORDIN

Oh come on!

KRISJAIN

It’s not you, Fordin. It’s me.

FORDIN

Oh, in that case, adieu.

FORDIN has left your party.

INT. CHURCH OF ROSESANTIBLEAU

It’s Romanesque and large.

KRISJAIN

I’m sorry, but I’d like you to excommunicate me.

PRIEST

May I ask why, child? Have you done something horrible?

KRISJAIN

Oh, of course not. I rather not associate with people who steal wallets, that’s all.

PRIEST

Well, surely, the actions of one man should not direct you to a lower path. He will be punished accordingly by the Gods.

KRISJAIN

No, no, no. He’s a monk, see?

PRIEST

So you’re a foreigner then.

KRISJAIN

What? No, I am a loyal citizen of the Neo Switzerland like everyone else here. Bless be to Queen William IV and let Her righteousness purify the Sino-Indo Empire for Now, Past, Forever.

PRIEST

Well, it is a practice of the clergy to do so to only foreigners. Do you have an ID or something?

KRISJAIN

Of course not. I sold it for food. Wait, I never got that food.

PRIEST

I am afraid that Neo Switzerland has no place for a man like you. You are excommunicated! Justice to William IV and Death to the Defilers!

PRIEST points shotgun at KRISJAIN.

KRISJAIN

Well, this is just depressing and scary. I think I’ll be going now.

INT. FORDIN’S CABIN – MORNING

A small cabin in the outskirts. KRISJAIN is seen packing up blades, herbal remedies, potions, and éclairs in a burlap sack. FORDIN is in bed and wakes up. FORDIN looks at KRISJAIN and is startled.

KRISJAIN

If you don’t mind which you probably do, I’ll be taking your gracious family heirloom, the Iron Sword, and all your éclairs and inventory items. Oh, and 1,000 Gil. It’s time to…

SEPARATE CHRUCH FROM STATE!

KRISJAIN strikes a pose.

FORDIN

My éclairs? But they’re for my wife.

KRISJAIN

Ah, yes. Ms. Fordin. Sorry, lad. If you’re dead when I return, I’ll strike out that vigra.

FORDIN

I think you underestimate her.

KRISJAIN

Ho, ho, ho! By journey’s end, I think I’ll be experienced enough. Poor Fordin. It must be tough, but fear not! I will create new government of sharing! For some reason, I’m not sure I’m up to the task or that everything will go as planned.

FORDIN

Nothing ever does.

KRISJAIN

Of course, but still I tremble in fear of twists and turns in my journey like having you be God or that I’m the last descendant of some mighty warrior and am destined to seal an awful beast worse than your wife.

FORDIN

It is most troubling. Though I do fancy the thought of a twist where I am God.

KRISJAIN

Everyone does, except Marxists and those with sense. Not combining the two though. Well, I’m off! No one likes long talks! Gets in the way of grinding and killing monsters! Time is of the essence though there most likely is no consequence for wasting time here!

GAME START.

The Bombing of Osaka

The Bombing of Osaka

In a time where modern society lived in constant fear of giant temporal disruptions, divine snake demons, and club sandwiches; Kyo Kusanagi was always prepared for what lied in the day. Indeed, Kyo was no ordinary man. With the ability to generate flames from his fingers and his highly exquisite and powerful martial arts, he was a force to be reckoned with.

One day he was strolling down a busy street of Osaka all strut-like, exhuming with manly pride and young vigor. The crowd swayed and pushed yet Kyo was calm. Cool to this massive heat, Kyo walked with ease, used to the city life and crowded conditions of modern Japan.

“A picture of a ghost ship.â€? said Kyo as a painting caught his picture.

It was huddled up in a small mom and pop store of antiques. Where big business ruled, it always gave Kyo a smile when he saw a small store such as this. It was quiet, almost empty, and obviously was going to fail. Still, it had a harmonious aura that never resonated in a city like Osaka but more in a small town in Kyushu or Pompeii. He entered the shop and lo and behold, the smell of old copper, brass, gold, and every sort of metal and stone lifted into his nose. Though a bit nauseating at first, it was far more pleasant than the eternal smog of the industrial productive hectic city before the entrance.

“Yes! A customer! How can I help you?â€? said a bright cheerful girl.

She seemed below ten. She picked her nose and was in a plaid red dress. Her smile lacked a tooth and was oh so cute, and her hair was done in oxtails, a bit odd for someone not in China. Kyo asked about the picture of the ghost ship. It was a family heirloom like most of the other things on sale. The price was cheap despite its sentimental value. It was a steal, and the family was practically selling away its own value and history. Of course, Kyo felt a bit bad about grabbing off a family treasure, but it also seemed that it would heal up the family’s lack in fortunes. He decided to buy it. Such was his ravenous desire for the portrait that he overpaid by a few hundred. Was he seemingly unaware or just very nice?

He continued down the street with a sack being killed with the painting. Careful he thought not so the painting’s frame tore the sack in a few places. This painting would bring a smile to Yuki’s face, he thought. Yuki Kusinada, she was an odd girl. Kyo and Yuki had been through some odd times. Kidnapped by the descendants of a snake god to be sacrificed was just one of the things she endured. Unlike then though, Kyo was hardly around. He was busy, flying around the world to win (or try to) fighting tournaments. Surely, a dropout like him needed a way to get money besides some random job at a nameless restaurant. How far to her house? Maybe he should have took that bus. No, it was always his style to be slow and lazy much to the dismay of many. It even bugged Yuki, but of course, it had been so long that Yuki would have to forgive him for his tardiness.

“You’re late again!â€?

“Well, better late than not coming at all, right?â€?

“…You’re right.â€?

“I brought a special gift for you! Besides, the flowers and what not.â€?

“A painting? Of a ghost ship? A ghost ship?â€?

“Isn’t it an astounding piece of the Baroque, Renaissance, Cubism, or something?â€?

Suddenly, they were nuked.

My Rome is On Fire

My comp broke. HD crash. Files died. Boo. Backup of some files is months old. DirectX8 and 9 stopped working so games are all garbled. Bought a teddy bear with a heart saying "I Love You" for no reason. Father thinks I'm gay. Unmanliness has been exposed further. Is still obsessed over the Gushiken since 2005. Found a guy who knows German, hates Muslims, and is from Czechoslovakia. Awesome. Plans to make volleyball game with Pan, Xiaoai, Gio, and other characters. Found two people who approve Hugo Chavez and I am too lazy to put an accent mark.

Groove on.