Friend Issues

Posted by username on Oct. 8, 2008, 6:39 a.m.

What can I do when a friend has problems?

My life is and always has been relatively comfortable and priveleged compared to a lot of peoples, and I feel pathetic. I've never experienced things like she is facing right now.

She told me on MSN that she won't be coming to school tomorrow. Long story short, she explained how her mother took the rest of the family away to an unknown destination after her mother had a fight with her cousin, who lives with them at her grandmas house. She fears that she won't see her two younger siblings again. Her mother has piled all their belingings on her bed and she thinks she will come back for them.

I asked her questions, and then I said something stupid. It was one of those silly things we say to each other, but I guess she must have thought I didn't understand and that I was making a joke out of the whole thing or something. I said something that is typical of me to say and I thought she would know that it's just one of those things that I say. She must have taken it the wrong way and it's understandable that she'd do that. Now I feel really stupid. She left without saying bye.

What this situation made me think of was how silly humans are with all of their emotional issues and petty arguments. I wish they could all embrace the stoic philosophy, clear thinking is much better than being controlled by our emotions. Why are people so cruel to each other, why can't they understand..

So I said, "*sigh* Humans.. I am glad to be an otherlien." Yes, it's a silly thing to say, but it's sort of like an inside joke between us, but it's not funny, it's just a mildly amusing thing we talk about. She was just like "…." I continue on about how silly humans are with their issues. Which is sort of like my way of saying "Yeah, that's messed up, why did they have to fight.." She might have taken it to mean that her issues were silly.

You see, I'm awkward when it comes to sympathising with anyone, and socially awkward in general anyway. I'm usually more inclined to give advice rather than my sympathy and comfort, but I didn't even know what to say.

I sent offline messages apologising. Then I said something along the lines of "someday this will all be over and you will be happy" which is pathetic, but I didn't know what else to say.

I hate asking for advice because I always thought I should be able to work things out for myself.

Well, I'll have to leave it at that because my mother is wanting me off the computer.

Comments

Cpsgames 16 years, 1 month ago

BITCH ITS slightly EASY

Cesar 16 years, 1 month ago

DONT YOU SAY ITS SLIGHTLY EASY OR THE HIP HOP ARMY WILL TAKE YOU DOWN

THERE'S TOO MANY TO TAKE ON.

The Avatrol 16 years, 1 month ago

Nosferatu rocks by the way, just to let you know.

My girlfriend used to get into a lot of family situations. I would try and help her, but it ultimately came down to the fact that it was happening to her and not me, therefor I couldn't really begin to understand the emotional aspect of the situation. As stated prior, listening and just letting it be known that you are there for them is probably the best thing you can do.

Good luck and I hope things work out for the best.

flashback 16 years, 1 month ago

Quote:
I am also girl, by the way.
That's impossible.

username 16 years, 1 month ago

I meant 'a' girl >.<

It is not impossible. I could be anyone, for all you know. But I am certain that I am female.

Thankyou to everyone who gave me actual advice. It is appreciated.

I haven't yet talked to my friend. I hope she is okay.

Alert Games 16 years, 1 month ago

he's saying its improssible for 2 reasons:

1) rule of the internet: there are no females. (j/k)

2) the ratio of guys to girls on this site is infinitely large.

anyway, yeah i hate when those kinds of things happen, but they happen all the time :/ My girlfriend is going through having no job with her parents not able to work. and its pretty stressful… and not that fun for me either.

Juju 16 years, 1 month ago

Quote:
You're right. But she knows me well..
And for that reason she'll forgive you. As I'm sure you're aware, when you're a bit pissed off, you don't percieve the world like you usually do. If I came across harsh, I apologise, I can be very blunt sometimes.