Recently, I've been thinking, one of those questions that's really simple, but also a really horrible, really dangerous question; What if?

This is something that you'd all have asked yourself, at some point or another, many times over. that is, what could I have done differently? what would have changed, how could this be better, how could i overcome that, avoid this, account for that?

I think to myself, time after time, what if this had been changed, it's useful when you're trying to learn a concept in something like physics, or chemistry, or biology. actually, just about any concept ever, just say, what if? change a factor, create a factor, remove a factor, and then bam! everything changes, or wait, maybe it doesn't; but you know it doesn't. there isn't really much of a problem with this, other than habit? you begin to ask yourself about this in every scenario, in every way, over and over and over, time and time and time again. what if i posted something better here? what if i spelled that wrong, better check. what if something's on the news, what if i missed it, what would have happened if i checked earlier, would i have stopped watching later? I wonder would would happen if i stopped doing this?

but then i start to wonder, why bother asking myself such a silly question, why bother, why expend the effort. Of course, I then think to myself about what the fuck else I'd be doing; watching tv, eating, scratching my chin. I wouldn't go so far as to say nothing, since in this day and age, everyone has to be doing something every fucking single instance of the day, you can't look at static image unless something around you is moving, something to draw your attention, something 'real'. like the things you see on TV. or, that's what the public perception seems to be.

What if Tv never existed? what if nobody dared to dream of transmitting light through copper wires. of course, that isn't exactly how a TV works, but that's how it was first imagined, and that's the same question that i was asking myself just a moment ago. what if?

What if we could broadcast light, if we could be able to show an image a mile away, in the next town, the next country, half way across the world.

Holy shit, that sounds like a brilliant idea! well, it would, before television was invented. now it's probably regarded as the worst idea that anybody's ever had. the perfect pacifier, that seems to turn anyone into a fucking sponge.

I then ask myself the same question, and run over a million scenarios, decide it's a stupid idea, then do the same thing over and over again. this seems rather unhealthy, it's worse than TV; I'm wasting so much time.

And if that's bad, you then get to ask yourself, why?

why does my head hurt, why does this medicine taste so bad, why am i wasting so much time? you could come up with a million solutions, but every one of them would just seem silly. start putting them together, and maybe ti will seem more silly, maybe less silly, i don't know. my head hurts enough already, so I'll just stop writing.