64Digits

Posted by Cosine on Feb. 11, 2011, 6:06 p.m.

JOURNAL ENTRY 1

DATE: AC/9/3-342

I'm writing this journal to serve as a historical milestone to anyone who may care. By the time you read this, I will probably have already served my purpose and be gone. My name is not important.

Before I get into what I meant by serving my purpose, I should give a bit of backstory. This world I am on is made of color. Color is life, and life is color. When something dies, its color drains out.

A large city, Valence, was the center of all people on this planet. It ran completely on color energy: it killed the environment and used the color from the deceased to power the city. If you didn't live in Valence, you lived in poverty.

A scientist, by the name of Thomas, had come up with a theory that involved being able to transfer color into a deceased being to bring he or she back to life. After long preparations for an experiment to see if this would work or not, they tested it out.

The battery on this tablet is dying. I'll leave you another message whe

>POWER FAILURE<

>MEMORY DUMP<

MACHINE_CALL_ID:TABLET;

MANUFACTURER:XRT_INC;

SERIES:3DY7-73F;

REGISTERED_MACHINE_ID:F4Z2-G9N0-D7E7-M2K1;

10DIGIT_AUTHOR_ID:3342174209;

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

>END STREAM<|

The first journal. Just for The Jungle, I invented my own calendar! Today is ~~AB/10/6-118~~ DC/6/5-779. Creating the script that generated that date was a fun adventure with GameMaker's limited date functionality! You can't generate any dates based off of anything before December 30th 1899, unfortunately.

Also, a bigger announcement about the game is this incredibly sexy level select menu I made.

<derp>

You can't see it, but my mouse is hovering over the DIVIDE button. Each section has its own button. That lonely button down below is the bonus level section; it currently only has one level. It's really frakking hard.

Comments

JuurianChi 13 years, 10 months ago

This "reaks"…of win.

OBELISK 13 years, 10 months ago

colseed 13 years, 10 months ago

Lookin' good sir.

Though when I read "Valence", I immediately thought "electron"…

Carlos508 13 years, 10 months ago

very interesting!

Alert Games 13 years, 10 months ago

Please include every word of the journal into the game. That would be epic win sir.

F1ak3r 13 years, 10 months ago

You may want to revise that a few times. It doesn't read as well as it might. Some thoughts:

1. Colour or color? You need to decide whether or not to be American.

2. The scientist, does he have a surname? It seems like he should. Unless he's an alien with only one name, in which case, "Thomas" is a strange name for an alien.

3. "to bring he or she" should be "to bring him or her".

4. Other than that, I don't know, the wording feels clunky. "Backstory", for example, makes it sound like the journal writer is drafting a novel or something, rather than recording actual events. "historical milestone" also doesn't really fit - the journal is a record, not an event of its own.

Sorry to put a damper on the praise you've received so far, but I criticize with only the best intentions.

Cosine 13 years, 10 months ago

Thanks for your comments, guys!

I guess this guy isn't a very good writer? But seriously, I took those into account and it reads a bit better now. Thanks for the writing tips, I suck at writing. :P

Also, Alert: This is the first of 5 journals you find in the game. Two of them hardly count as journals, though.