If you didn't know, I rap battle. Sometimes offline, sometimes online. I'm the master of this shit yo. I like to keep my raps PG rated with good grammar though, others don't quite do so.
From: MeFemale dog,I am not going to take this poop.From you.I'll pop a cap in your butt,If you ever mess with me again,No black person ever got away with it,Messing with me and my prostitutes.Me and my female dogs,Are going to break and enter into your house,And cap you and all your ugly female dogs,Female dog,I'm going to shoot you in the forehead,Female dog,If you don't stop trying to outrap me,Female dog,For I am the gosh dang best rapper there's ever been,I am Tarvish Icknam Trekdud,And I don't take poop from nobody.Not you,Nor your female dogs,Nor their prostitutes,Nor their pimps,Nor their black people,Nor their female dogs,Nor their obese mothers.That they've capped.Don't mess with me,I'm Halibutski,And I've finally learned to rhyme,After all this time,Potato chips.Black person.From: [The one who guesses who wrote this gets a cookie]Yo nigraIt's all cool n' yoBut gotta tell yo somethingDat ya need to knowYa I've been to russiaAnd I gotta sayI'm gonna rap yo out dareAny dayNow listen hereIn da freezin' coldCause mah rappin shitNever gonan get oldI the mo flyNever dieTankin' bulletsLike 50 cent on da rise yo!Now ya need to hearWhat I'm sayin' nowCause the covernments lookin'And it aint for maoyeah I've been to cubaAnd I've seen sum chinaGot sum communitsFlowin' thru mah veinsAnd now you gotta hearIt ain't no scareOf sumthin' redder den redThat's happenin' hereYa ya gots to knowCastro was my papaWe be tighter den vitoLike in da god fatha'Yeah we startd a revolutionOur war for bloodPurifyin' da streetsLike Hitler never couldAnd I'll tell you whatIt went real wellUntill super man showed upStarting calling us swellAnd ya really gotta knowWe don't take dat kinda crapSo we put a triggerUnto dat niggaBullet bounced offLike kryptoniteHit may papa CastroThat wasn't alrightSo i took my m60For a trip in the hoodLike Seung-Hui ChoI showed dem I could!Now da stori is ovaHope ya had some funNight night nigratime to oil mah gun!FEMALE DOG IT'S EASY!
Guys, I can outrap ALL OF YOU
Now this is the story all about howMy life got flipped, turned upside downAnd Id like to take a minute just sit right thereIll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-airIn west philadelfia born and raisedOn the playground where I spent most of my daysChilling out, maxing, relaxing all coolAnd all shooting some b-ball outside of the schoolWhen a couple of guys said were up in no goodStarted making trouble in my neighbourhoodI got in one little fight and my mom got scaredAnd said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-airI begged and pleaded with her the other dayBut she packed my suitcase and sent me on my wayShe gave me a kissin and she gave me my ticketI put my walkman on and said I might aswell kick itFirst class, yo this is bad,Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glassIs this what the people of bel-air livin like,Hmm this might be alright!I whistled for a cab and when it came near theLicensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirrorIf anything I could say that this cab was rareBut I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-airI pulled up to a house about seven or eightAnd I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you laterLooked at my kingdom I was finally thereTo settle my throne as the prince of bel-airYou are scum.
Next!!
i can outrap EVERYONE including 50Cent!
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemies eyes Listen as the crowd would sing: "Now the old king is dead, long live the king!" One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing Roman cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword, my shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word That was when I ruled the world It was the wicked and wild wind Blew down the doors to let me in Shattered windows and the sound of drums People couldn't believe what I'd become Revolutionaries wait For my head on a silver plate Just a puppet on a lonely string (Ooooh) Ah, who would ever want to be king? I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing Roman cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword, and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain I know Saint Peter will call my name Never an honest word But that was when I ruled the world Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh (repeat with chorus) I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing Roman cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword, my shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain I know Saint Peter will call my name Never an honest word But that was when I ruled the world Oooooooh Oooooooh OoooooohLol, Viva La Vida by coldplay.
Oh, and I'm the best rapper in the world;They see me mowin’My front lawnI know they’re all thinking I’m so white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyCan’t you see I’m white and nerdy?Look at me, I’m white and nerdyI wanna roll withThe gangstasBut so far they all think I’m too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyI’m just too white and nerdy.Really really white and nerdy.First in my class here at MITGot skills, I’m a champion at D&DMC Escher - that’s my favorite MCKeep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey teaMy rims never spin, to the contraryYou’ll find that they’re quite stationaryAll of my action figures are cherrySteven Hawking’s in my libraryMy MySpace page is all totally pimped outGot people beggin’ for my top eight spacesYo, I know pi to a thousand placesAin’t got no grills but I still wear bracesI order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaiseI’m a whiz at Minesweeper - I could play for daysOnce you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazedMy fingers’ movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablazeThere’s no killer app I haven’t runAt Pascal, well I’m number oneDo vector calculus just for funI ain’t got a gat but I got a soldering gunHappy Days is my favorite theme songI could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pongI’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring onI’m fluent in JavaScript as well as KlingonThey see me roll onMy SegwayI know in my heart they think I’m white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyCan’t you see I’m white and nerdyLook at me, I’m white and nerdyI’d like to roll withThe gangstasAlthough it’s apparent I’m too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyI’m just too white and nerdyHow’d I get so white and nerdyI’ve been browsin’, inspectin’X-Men comics, you know I collect ‘emThe pens in my pocket, I must protect ‘emMy ergonomic keyboard never leaves me boredShopping online for deals on some writable mediaI edit WikipediaI memorized Holy Grail really wellI can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOLI got a business doing websitesWhen my friends need some code, who do they call?I do HTML for ‘em allEven made a homepage for my dogYo, I got myself a fanny packThey were havin’ a sale down at The GapSpend my nights with a roll of bubble wrapPop, pop, hope no one sees meGettin’ freakyI’m nerdy in the extremeAnd whiter than sour creamI was in AV Club and Glee Club and even the Chess TeamOnly question IEver thought was hardWas do I like KirkOr do I like PicardSpend every weekend at the Renaissance FairGot my name on my underwearThey see me strollin’They laughin’And rollin’ their eyes ’cause I’m so white and nerdyJust because I’m white and nerdyJust because I’m white and nerdyAll because I’m white and nerdyHoly cow, I’m white and nerdyI wanna bowl withThe gangstasBut, oh well, it’s obvious I’m white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyThink I’m just too white and nerdyI’m just too white and nerdyLook at me, I’m white and nerdy.Fin.Come back about 2 years ago when White and Nerdy was cool.