n00b Ecology

Posted by Extravisual on July 27, 2006, 9:28 a.m.

This is a joke article. If you are one of those people who always take things seriously, leave now, I don't want you reading my blog.

Now, on to the article.

The n00b (N00bea Stupidus) Is a common creature found all over earth. The specific colonies that are referenced in this article are the ones habituating Game Maker areas. n00bs, despite eradication attempts by smarts, are exceptionally common around here. N00bs can reproduce two ways:

a) Bacterial multiplication

b) Coral-type Cloning and Colonization

Here is an explanation of the two types:

a) These ones tend to split into two smaller n00bs every time they get pwnd. While having two small noobs is better than having 1 big one, these n00bs grow at a high rate, and tend to grow to twice the size of the first noob in half the time.

b) These noobs will form colonies around a large structure, creating an object that looks like a brain, but doesn't think like one. At all. These Coral-noobs will reproduce by cloning themselves, and living on top of the dead ones. When enough of these grow, it gives the appearance of a HUMONGOUS brain, but on the inside of it, is just a bunch of dead, mindless noobs. Occasionally a noob will split off of the original colony, and form a colony of its own. These tend to be recognized as very small brains and killed off quickly. A supreme example of a coral-noob colony is the GMC. These noob colonies get so big, they are impossible to exterminate.

The reason of the survival of n00bs is unknown to smarts, the leading smart scientists theorize that the n00bs are like the dodo's, they lived for thousands of years, until one day they decide that jumping off a cliff would be a good way to test the gravity on their game.

The best advice anyone can give you about avoiding noobs is: Hide.

Comments

NeutralReiddHotel 18 years, 4 months ago

Hehe, good article. Make a sequel. XD