I'm sitting on my bed, with my black cat next to me, my cellphone in my hands, Dire Straits's "Southbound Again" playing, and a steaming mug of coffee on my desk. Time to write another installation of everyone's favourite 64Digits story-in-a-number-of-parts-and-written-by-F1ak3r (the ONLY one, but that's besides the point).

Our hero raised his voice in protest, but was interrupted by the knight's menacing glare. He may not have wanted to become anyone's slave, but he certainly didn't want to get on the wrong side of that knight.

With the race's formal announcement, everyone around started scrambling to set things up. Chairs were rolled out, stalls were set up, the race track was marked out, and many other things happened. Having nothing better to do, our hero decided to take a walk around, and to see what everyone was doing.

The first interesting sight he came across was two guys with a perfectly crafted circle mounted on the front of a conventional stand. There was a sign mounted on it that had something to do with tunnels and happiness written on it. Our hero couldn't make out the exact words, as they were written in a very strange font.

The two people manning the stall were normal-looking at first glance, but, on closer inspection, had odd looks about them. The first was very tall, with a pale white face, and the Roman numeral III printed across his shirt. The second was not so odd in the way he looked, as in the way he acted. He did everything: talking, walking, even breathing… backwards! It was rather funny to watch.

When he grew tired of the happy tunnel guys, our hero moved on to where the grandstands were being set up. He saw that, in addition to stands, other things were also being set up.

The first example of this he came across was a red-coloured child's playpen, filled with broken crayons and tearstained blankets. He presumed that whoever usually occupied this playpen had a rather nasty temper.

The second example was a scorched-up, diplidated old grandstand that had to be set up with great care so that it wouldn't fall apart. Our hero couldn't discern what kind of person this belonged to, but surmised that it must have changed hands a lot, as evidenced by the amount of scratched out names on its "This grandstand is property of:" label.

As our hero passed around the area where the race was to happen, he realized just how strange and depraved many of Sausagefest's regular customers were. On his walk he saw a malformed chicken with a Rubix cube, a man holding about three pineapples, a giant potato that bore a resemblance to a human toe, a guy with pink hair, a Polish man, a giant suicide pill, and many other strange people and things.

He had just reached the happy tunnel stand, where the drunkard that he saw earlier was complaining about deceptive advertising to the backwards-guy, when a trumpet was heard, and everyone started rushing towards the grandstands. The race had begun.

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I hope that at least some of THIS part's references are hard to get, but if not, meh. This isn't a guessing game, after all.

F1ak3r

EDIT: Nearly forgot, it's Chuluka's birthday today. Woo!