This is a fun little writing exercise. Here's mine–I want to see yours!
It’s 2012 and I’m 4 years wiser than you are so you better listen to me and you better listen good.Enjoy every single second you have with Matt, Dane, Kellan, Jordyn, and Chase. I know it’s hard to believe right now but one day you’re not going to have them around so much any more. Quit taking the friendship you have with these guys for granted and start cherishing what they mean to you now. You’ll never have that again, ever.And I know that you’re probably still in the puppy love stage with Sarah. Cherish that, and don’t treat her like shit. Don’t act like a sorry asshole when you know that she’s doing everything she can to cheer you up. I know it’s hard to control your emotions right now and your hormones are in turmoil, but it’s no excuse to act like a dick to someone who cares about you.Make an effort to talk to your dad more. Although you don’t realize it yet, you and him are similar in more ways than you can imagine. He isn’t home all the time, so make sure that when he is, you make time to have talks with him. Ask him about what things were like when he was your age. Talk to him about baseball. Ask him about papa.Quit stressing your mother out with school. Just do your homework, seriously. I know you can. And you better enjoy the shit out of her constant home cooked meals, because those won’t be around forever. Take some time to thank her for all the hard work she does around the house.I know, the Yankees didn’t make the playoffs this year. Don’t lose faith in Girardi so soon, though. 2009 is going to be a good year. The Eagles aren’t going to get better, at least not yet. You’re allowed to hate the Patriots for a few more years but it will soon be time to let that go as well.Get to know your little sisters more. Talk to them about anything. One day you’re going to leave the house and really regret not getting to know them better. They’re going through almost the same things you are right now, and trust me, you’ll be able to relate to them better than almost anyone, even if they are girls.I know things are crazy right now. But you’re gonna make it. You’re gonna make it.
Here are some lottery numbers: [insert lottery numbers here], here's a summary of world events between your time and mine: [insert summary of world events between 2010 up to the present here], here's a description of your present political views here [insert description of my present political views here], here's a list of books you should read [insert list of educational and/or entertaining books here], here's a list of music that you'll like [insert my music library here], here's a list of movies you should watch [insert list of movies I like here], and here's how your life kind of turns out [insert all of my blogs here].
Now the butterfly effect from all this knowledge you've had dumped on you should keep you out of the exact mistakes I made, but fuck it, you're gonna need some general guidelines. Vodka (hard liquor in general really) is fucking amazing, make the most of the fact that your mom still runs a bar. Having no friends isn't liberating or anything like that, it's just really boring. I forget if you have a guitar yet, but you should be able to get a pretty good one with all that lottery money (don't bother with guitar lessons by the way, you're a terrible student). Oh, and last (and most importantly), stay the fuck away from diphenhydramine. Seriously, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DIPHENHYDRAMINE.Dear 15-Year old Shaq:
Get better grades in school. I know you think you're awesome and super intelligent and what not (and you aren't half bad), but that way you'll essentially get your college paid for twice, so that'd be awesome. I'm not struggling or in debt, but I could be better financially.(Plus Mom was pretty embarrassed of me in school because of my grades. I know it's bullcrap, but you have to understand that not everyone around you shares your feeling on social stigma and the faults of the American grading system. Just give your mother some peace of mind and it might not backfire on you in the future.)Join the STEM program for YSU. I know you think you want to go to Toledo, but trust me, you don't want to be an engineer. You've been coding since you were 12, why wouldn't you just want to get paid doing that anyway? Plus you'll get a free TI-84, and won't waste your money on an 89 that you aren't even going to end up using. That way, you'll get college paid for THREE TIMES and will essentially be getting a part-time job and full ride purely from scholarships. Don't screw it up.Michael will end up being pretty much your only friend. I know it sounds sad, and it sucks, but pretty much don't depend on anyone else. Tell Michael to let Amanda know how he feels about her, and don't let Amanda mess up her life. I mean, they end up together, but a lot of people got hurt, so let's try it differently this time around. Also, warn them about Zayne. Actually, warn Zayne about Zayne. He's going to alienate everyone around him. Try as hard as you can to help him. You'll probably fail (I did) but maybe now that you know, you can help him.Don't waste the money you get. Save it. Buy a house and furnish it. It's a LOT better than an apartment. (Dad is going to pull through and get the money. You'll get it right before you graduate from school. Don't waste it moving to Toledo.)If you buy a house, you can focus on making your games and music.[THIS PART WOULD ONLY BE SAID IF I COULD BE SURE THAT MY WORDS WOULDN'T CAUSE ABBEY AND I TO NEVER HAPPEN]Be friends with Abbey, Cameron's girlfriend. He treats her like shit, her friends are really messed up, and honestly, she doesn't really have anyone. You'll save her from quite a bit of mental abuse, and it might make you're lives easier in the long run: You're going to get married.I know, it sounds crazy. You haven't even kissed a girl yet. But, it's going to happen. Save yourself for your wife. It will only be a few years (which seems bad, but honestly, you'll feel good that you didn't waste anything on women you didn't care about.)Dear 15-year-old self:
You're right. This, of course, doesn't make anything any easier, but you are right, and they have no idea what they're talking about. Also stop working on the orchestra thing, it doesn't help. Stop working on that stupid project and spend all your time on the 2D graphics engine because its important. All your 3D engine ideas are wrong, but eventually lead into more practical things. All your 2D engine ideas are actually wrong too but they get better. Stop thinking school is awesome. School isn't awesome, it never will be awesome, college isn't any better, and academics is a load of horseshit.Dear Rolf,
You have serious mental issues. Get them checked out BEFORE you drop out of college four times.Also, get off your ass and do more sports. You have a genetic defect that will slowly turn you into a cripple unless you train your leg muscles properly (lots of stretching).Dear 15 year old self:
It's only been three months since the last time we talked, and nothing really new has happened since.So I guess all I can say would be "self-loathe less, you depressing fuck."Love, YouDear me,
Please don't do anything differently as you may unwittingly create a paradox in which the present me ceases to exist.p.s. you suckYoursDear me,
See: Toast. But discover Touhou sooner.Love, me.Dear me,
Time travel IS possible, because, you see, I invented it. It's gonna make you rich and the most popular person in the world. Also, the grandfather paradox cannot happen as time travel is indeed just a journey between different universes, so I guess this letter might take all this fame away, but at least you now know it's possible! But wait, how would you know this is from your future self and not a prank? "That's really awesome, dude!" I believe I didn't have another personality at your age which could have been fooling you with this letter, so I hope that quote is enough proof for you.Kind regards,your future self.Dear Juurian Chi,
Don't get infatuated with Girls.Jake is a douche outside of work, Don't invite him anywhere.Write down everything, you need it all.Don't invest in Zynga, your stock will fall before you can sell it.Also, Ponies and Doctor Who will become even more popular- Launch the sites before you lose that chance. (The Ad revenue will pay for College.)