Kinda been holding back a bit,

Posted by Ferret on Oct. 18, 2010, 6:34 p.m.

I've realized now that I haven't blogged in a while and I thought something of this size would make up for it. Sitting here in my community college, I'm looking around at where I am. Sure, I'm here in Pasadena, but really I'm in between college and highschool. I'm taking on UC transferable courses and return home to my helicopter mother who plays 20 questions with me as soon as I get home. It's hard to make friends here, I can't figure out if it's because everyone goes home after class or if it's because I am so different from everyone. I'm sitting here right now so I don't see why I can't met any of the other people who have decided to stick around school as well. However, I can tell that I'm different, mostly the fact that I grew up in a bubble, grasping my innocence as long as possible, while on the other hand everyone here hits on each other in hopes of getting laid without the slightest intention to date. I've met nice girls, but they are always dating, and once I see the boyfriend I can tell immediately that he is that type of guy. They drink in the afternoon and smoke during the day. I play video games and chat with people over the internet who I've never met. I'm sure there are people like me around here, but they are either hard to find or (like me) think that no one around this school is like them and probably go home as soon as possible. I've been sticking around some friends from highschool, but the novelty is starting to ware. One of my friends has been in one of the dumbest relationships I have ever seen. If you have read this far, I congratulate you, this is what I've wanted to talk about this whole time and been working towards. This friend that I'm talking about is a member here and I'm writing this huge blog to scare him away from reading. During my senior year of High School my friend asked another one of my friends to prom (A good amount of my friends are girls) and afterward they began going out. Things went well for them during the stress free summer, but then school started and we were all going to the same community college. Stress got to all of us except my guy-friend who seemed to ignore the fact that he needed to do well in school. Soon his girlfriend could hang out less and less and my friend would go to her house more and more asking if he could come in. He would get sad whenever she told him to go away, and he would go through these "shows" where he would put his head down and refuse to talk to anyone. It sounds depressing but it's just stupid and was completely uncalled for for the situation (and very annoying). During this however, another girl started to "like" my friend and eventually told him that she liked him. He said that he couldn't leave his relationship like that and then she started to turn her attention to me. >_> I could tell pretty quickly by the dirty things she would say to me, but I didn't like the way she flaunted herself around (slut). Eventually my friend (the girl) was annoyed with my other friend (the guy) and dumped him on account of being annoying and stupid. That happened the day after my friend told me that the (slut) likes me. My friend was available for her, but she felt bad that I was told that she likes me so she sets me aside to talk to me and gave some dumb analogy about wanting something that is unavailable and turning to something that is, but then the thing you originally want in available again and your second choice no long looks good. She always has an analogy for everything, and they are always stupid. Anyways it was quite obvious that the only thing she was looking for was sex, not a relationship. It only took a month and a half for those two to lose their virginity and they happened to decide to do that while another friend and I were just down the hallway. That frustrates me quite a bit, I kinda imagine my first time to be romantic and alone, while these two just settle with "do it quietly down the hall." That wasn't the only time, from then on she would insist on sneaking in at night while I sleep at my friends house. They aren't that quiet. Then drama llamas break lose, the girl comes to me with her problems with my friend (title wearing out). Apparently he doesn't want to have sex with her as often as she does; my guess is because there is nothing between them. This continued for months of her calling me and demanding I go to her house to her calling me and asking for a ride home only to allow a screaming monster into my car yelling "WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME!!!???!!!" at high pitches. She dumped him, twice, they got back together three times, the last time they broke up my friend must have mustered up a spine and told her it wasn't working and unlike the other breaks in their relationship it lasted for more than 20 minutes but just like all the other break ups it ended with the girl coming back and begging to get back together and my friend quietly going along with it. During that last break she turned her attention towards me, being flaunty and asking if I would have "flings" with girls for one night. One night she asks me if I like her, to which I respond "No." She gives up and the next day begs for my friend. I later find out that if I had said "Yes." she would have too (slut). Now that they are back together she is back to calling me and crying questions (ooo that could be a song title…). It drives me nuts, I can't find a relationship and my friend is in one with … that thing.. I'm tired of putting so much time into school surrounded by pretty girls, wasting the small amount of time I have to be this age wishing I had more self confidence and a different backdrop.

Comments

Josea 14 years ago

Fuck Ferret, if you want people to read your blog please use linebreaks :/

I'm on the verge of making an script that will auto add linebreaks to that.

Tasm 14 years ago

endl;

Tasm 14 years ago

Everything about this blogs speaks to me. I can't tell you how much I can relate to this.

Ferret 14 years ago

Sorry guys, the absence of a newline char was on purpose.

I'm actually surprised by how many of you are able to comment :3

@JID: I had a feeling I would be quite similar to a few 64D members; after all, we are just a bunch of geeks talking over the internet.
Quote:
I tend to like the nice girls too, but they are always dating. I tend to get girls to like me, that I don't like.
Painfully similar. And yeah, that is something else I wanted to rant on about on how me being the quote on quote "nice guy" that women don't want to date around this time, but it felt redundant since most of us already knew that. It just frustrates me.

@Kilin: Isn't that just the worst part? The relationship is either going to end in tears or in marriage. I've obviously haven't dated too many women so I wouldn't be able to tell if a woman is marriage material (for me at least). So for what reason am I supposed to date for? I'm sick of seeing such happy couples and feeling a pit in my stomach of jealousy. Date to no longer be alone? To be happy with someone? Fill my life with drama? End in tears? Dating sounds like a recipe for disaster, but it couldn't possibly be worse than nothing at all right? (I wouldn't mind the hardships of dating someone if I genuinely loved them.)

@Polystyrene Man: Lol, no. I think he needs to figure it out on his own.

@colseed: Not sure if that facial expression is "DOH!" or sadness.

@thernz: Are you saying become gay? :P

Nah there is more to it than being pretty, a girls got to fit with me (chemistry as kilin nicely put it)

@Cyrus: God yes. (Also I've been loving your avatar lately, it fits your crazy personality quite well :P)

@Kilin again: Agree with you 100%, she doesn't have to be crazy attractive or anything, she just has to be for me (idk if that makes sense, but I mean it like she just has to fit, you know?)

colseed 14 years ago

In this case, " >_< " would go to either or both.

Probably best interpreted as simultaneous general agreement and frustration. :/

Rob 14 years ago

Quote: Ferret

Anyways it was quite obvious that the only thing she was looking for was sex, not a relationship.

Silly whore, ferrets can't have sex with people!

Tell the bitch to STFU and GTFO.

LoserHands 14 years ago

If any of my friends wrote a wall o text like this I'd be excited to read it. O-O

Holy shet. Drama.

Unaligned 14 years ago

Your lack of activity is comprehensible, I've been in a similar situation (2 of my friends girl & guy like-don't like each other, blah blah blah), but yours goes way over mine.

Also, please use paragraphs.

Alert Games 14 years ago

Dont give up! Trust your instincts!

but in all seriousness, you just have to be more patient. if i was single i would just talk to a girl i might like, and see if I would like her. my friend went through 5 girls in 2 months that didnt get past a first date.

(Also i didnt read all of it, so disregard if irrelevant)

i talk to people at my community college but a lot of people are not very social for some reason, probably because of the diversity of everyone. but then again i live in the detroit area.

Ferret 14 years ago

Quote:
my friend went through 5 girls in 2 months that didnt get past a first date.
The only problem is getting to that first date, I can't find anyone relatable or at least on the same level as me. I asked a girl out once, but that didn't work out so well