Kinda been holding back a bit,

Posted by Ferret on Oct. 18, 2010, 6:34 p.m.

I've realized now that I haven't blogged in a while and I thought something of this size would make up for it. Sitting here in my community college, I'm looking around at where I am. Sure, I'm here in Pasadena, but really I'm in between college and highschool. I'm taking on UC transferable courses and return home to my helicopter mother who plays 20 questions with me as soon as I get home. It's hard to make friends here, I can't figure out if it's because everyone goes home after class or if it's because I am so different from everyone. I'm sitting here right now so I don't see why I can't met any of the other people who have decided to stick around school as well. However, I can tell that I'm different, mostly the fact that I grew up in a bubble, grasping my innocence as long as possible, while on the other hand everyone here hits on each other in hopes of getting laid without the slightest intention to date. I've met nice girls, but they are always dating, and once I see the boyfriend I can tell immediately that he is that type of guy. They drink in the afternoon and smoke during the day. I play video games and chat with people over the internet who I've never met. I'm sure there are people like me around here, but they are either hard to find or (like me) think that no one around this school is like them and probably go home as soon as possible. I've been sticking around some friends from highschool, but the novelty is starting to ware. One of my friends has been in one of the dumbest relationships I have ever seen. If you have read this far, I congratulate you, this is what I've wanted to talk about this whole time and been working towards. This friend that I'm talking about is a member here and I'm writing this huge blog to scare him away from reading. During my senior year of High School my friend asked another one of my friends to prom (A good amount of my friends are girls) and afterward they began going out. Things went well for them during the stress free summer, but then school started and we were all going to the same community college. Stress got to all of us except my guy-friend who seemed to ignore the fact that he needed to do well in school. Soon his girlfriend could hang out less and less and my friend would go to her house more and more asking if he could come in. He would get sad whenever she told him to go away, and he would go through these "shows" where he would put his head down and refuse to talk to anyone. It sounds depressing but it's just stupid and was completely uncalled for for the situation (and very annoying). During this however, another girl started to "like" my friend and eventually told him that she liked him. He said that he couldn't leave his relationship like that and then she started to turn her attention to me. >_> I could tell pretty quickly by the dirty things she would say to me, but I didn't like the way she flaunted herself around (slut). Eventually my friend (the girl) was annoyed with my other friend (the guy) and dumped him on account of being annoying and stupid. That happened the day after my friend told me that the (slut) likes me. My friend was available for her, but she felt bad that I was told that she likes me so she sets me aside to talk to me and gave some dumb analogy about wanting something that is unavailable and turning to something that is, but then the thing you originally want in available again and your second choice no long looks good. She always has an analogy for everything, and they are always stupid. Anyways it was quite obvious that the only thing she was looking for was sex, not a relationship. It only took a month and a half for those two to lose their virginity and they happened to decide to do that while another friend and I were just down the hallway. That frustrates me quite a bit, I kinda imagine my first time to be romantic and alone, while these two just settle with "do it quietly down the hall." That wasn't the only time, from then on she would insist on sneaking in at night while I sleep at my friends house. They aren't that quiet. Then drama llamas break lose, the girl comes to me with her problems with my friend (title wearing out). Apparently he doesn't want to have sex with her as often as she does; my guess is because there is nothing between them. This continued for months of her calling me and demanding I go to her house to her calling me and asking for a ride home only to allow a screaming monster into my car yelling "WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME!!!???!!!" at high pitches. She dumped him, twice, they got back together three times, the last time they broke up my friend must have mustered up a spine and told her it wasn't working and unlike the other breaks in their relationship it lasted for more than 20 minutes but just like all the other break ups it ended with the girl coming back and begging to get back together and my friend quietly going along with it. During that last break she turned her attention towards me, being flaunty and asking if I would have "flings" with girls for one night. One night she asks me if I like her, to which I respond "No." She gives up and the next day begs for my friend. I later find out that if I had said "Yes." she would have too (slut). Now that they are back together she is back to calling me and crying questions (ooo that could be a song title…). It drives me nuts, I can't find a relationship and my friend is in one with … that thing.. I'm tired of putting so much time into school surrounded by pretty girls, wasting the small amount of time I have to be this age wishing I had more self confidence and a different backdrop.

Comments

Glen 14 years, 1 month ago

Quote:
I've realized now that I haven't blogged in a while and I thought something of this size would make up for it.
We forgive you.

DesertFox 14 years, 1 month ago

Newline much?

JID 14 years, 1 month ago

You and I are quite alike, I tend to like the nice girls too, but they are always dating. I tend to get girls to like me, that I don't like. It's not like they're ugly or anything, they're just not the type of girl I'm looking for. I notice that girls tend to like assholes at their early ages, but they'll learn and hope to meet a guy like you. Don't worry I'm pretty sure you'll make friends soon, there is bound to be someone with the same interests as you, you just got to look for them. Good luck :D

I can't believe I just read that whole blog. I can't even remember half of it. :D

Looks like you weren't holding back on this blog.

Castypher 14 years, 1 month ago

I don't know if the lack of line breaks was intentional or accidental. Probably not forgetful.

At any rate, dating is overrated, I think. I've been in my share of relationships. Too much drama, too much to worry about, too little personal time, etc. There are good sides, and I was an idiot for settling with the girls I did date, but in my experience, I think it causes a lot more damage than happiness in the long run.

Excuse me for being a pessimist, but I'm sitting here watching my brother in his great relationship. It nearly brings tears to my eyes seeing him so happy, and it horrifies me knowing that there's way too much that can go wrong. In order to avoid total heartbreak, you either fall out of love or get married.

It's a scary thing, and I don't care to get involved in it myself. I can't say I've been upset with a relationship (rather, I've laughed at it), and I don't really want to experience it.

Polystyrene Man 14 years, 1 month ago

Maybe you should show this to the person you were trying to hide it from.

JID 14 years, 1 month ago

I agree, sometimes the best way to handle a situation is to talk to the person who caused the damage.

colseed 14 years, 1 month ago

Quote:
I'm tired of putting so much time into school surrounded by pretty girls, wasting the small amount of time I have to be this age wishing I had more self confidence and a different backdrop.

>_<

thernz 14 years, 1 month ago

Maybe you should convince yourself they aren't pretty.

JID 14 years, 1 month ago

Quote:
Maybe you should convince yourself they aren't pretty.

True

Sometimes there is more to this world than being pretty. If they're stupid enough not to be with you, they are nothing but filthy whores. Dirty, filthy whores.

Castypher 14 years, 1 month ago

I surprised myself once by being attracted to a girl without her being pretty. I'd talked with her for a little while and we had a lot in common.

You hear the phrase "Looks aren't everything" way too much, so I'll just say:

Looks are a lot. There should be some sort of chemistry. Having a physical attraction is often important to draw people together.

But I realized (this late) that it's not required. Not to say I dated the girl, but I probably would have despite not being so attractive.

Now please excuse the incredibly corny comment. I'd have come up with something witty, but that would have been inappropriate for the blog.