Fate: Twisted like a Mind.[Kp28]

Posted by Killpill28 on Jan. 4, 2008, 12:43 a.m.

Alrighty then, since I am at my Grandmother's, and only have her laptop, I am going to be writing a part of a story every day. Here is the first part.

Fate: Twisted like a Mind

Part 1

The blood of my friends on my hands, their bodies before me. The gun that had silenced their screams–between my eyes, the man who had killed them behind it. The man that wore a wicked grin. The man that spoke of fate, of theirs, of mine. "Fate, you can't run from it, you can't hind from it. And I can see it, I control it." His finger twitched on the trigger, but he did not fire, just smiled and spoke to me darkly. "I control mine, I controlled theirs, and I control yours." His grin grew wider and his voice rose. "Now, follow my design!" A shot fired, and the room spun, the light from the window dimmed, I fell into darkness.

/////

Thats all for today, what do you think of it?

I need to spell check it later, no Firefox here:[

-Killpill28-

Comments

sk8m8trix 16 years, 10 months ago

I think its horrible and overdone. Also theres a new spell check out, its called proofreading.

ESA 16 years, 10 months ago

You have your grandmother's labtop? What? :D

Killpill28 16 years, 10 months ago

I did proofread asshole.

I am not sure I knew how to spell some words.

Don't act like I am an idot.

Oh, and:

It's "it's" not "its".

It's "there's" not "theres".

Killpill28 16 years, 10 months ago

To ESA:

Yes, I am using my grandmothers labtop.

ESA 16 years, 10 months ago

Quote:
Oh, and:

It's "it's" not "its".

It's "there's" not "theres".

Oh, and:

It's "smiled" not "smilled"

It's "twitched" not "twiched"

It's "controlled" not "controled"

Killpill28 16 years, 10 months ago

Thank you.

I told you, there is no spell check here.

Sk8 was being an ass, telling me to proofread when he had not ever proofread his post.

ESA 16 years, 10 months ago

Fair enough. Spelling is important though and sk8 should proofread himself before telling you to.

Killpill28 16 years, 10 months ago

Thanks.

LoserHands 16 years, 10 months ago

Labtop? :p

Laptop.

I agree that it was overdone. It was pretty good though.

F1ak3r 16 years, 10 months ago

fiction.wikia.com. This story serial thing is becoming quite fashionable.