kk this blogs gona talk about…3 or 4 things maybe…moo

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Ok well I got bored with the last version of this picture, where the globey was on the pedestal so I decided to try hands and see what I could get from there…. not done jut trying it out. Think I need to shrink it a bit though, the flowers are like O_O. Yeah…but I kind of like the idea of the hands.Still not sure what i want INSIDE the globe so any ideas (that would go with that, not retarted ones lol) would be nice ^-^

2: Well my computer was spazzing out yesterday…. think the mouse and the keyboard had an argument. They didn't want to cooperate with eachother. Either the mouse would freeze, or after signing into windows the keyboard would stop typing…. and my computer would make a weird beep noise sometimes… yet now its working perfectly well. Joy :3 Eww.. make up sex while I was gone.

3: I just remembered, when i went shopping for my dress… we were in Hollywood and we passed by this Chinese weaponry shop and they had little panda plushies….WITH KIMONOS ON!!!! ^o^ I went into squeal mode….they were sooo cute. But daddy wouldnt buy me one and I had no money on me T___T Pandaaaaaa. So adorable though. One shall someday be mine.

4: Back to the boyfriend issue. Well today he gave me a note telling me he wanted to get back together cause he missed me…just TELLING me… not asking. So he was like "what do you say?" Of course being stubborn and difficult, I'm like "To what? You didn't ask me anything" So then he does ask, blah blah blah, we kiss… all happy… right? NO. This happened at Lunch so we went through period 6 and we lasted happy after school for abooooouut… 10 minutes. (Oh btw, the letter had said, as he had told me many times, that things needed to change or it wasnt going to work…fine, i was aware of this) So anyway, after school he tells me he's going to his friends Osmans house… so ok fine. I tell him, or ask him…cant member, if hes gona call me..or call me, whatever! Then hes all "no" (ok…intervention… must tell you the thing with that. I usually like him to call me cause, as a habit from having an overprotective mother, I worry EXTREMELY easily for my friends anyone close to me, especially him. So I just ask for ONE call at the end of the day so i know he's fine. ok…back) So yeah… he tells me no… and im like "Why?? Just aks Osman to use the phone and call me so I know youre ok" "I am ok" "Yes but I want to be sure" "Ill be fine" "That isnt reassuring… why cant you just call me??" "Its just one weekend!" "Yes but that doesnt mean anything! I just want to know you're ok!" "No, no you need to stop". So that pisses me off entirely…. cause he's giving me all this bullshit about me needing to change, THINGS needing to change yet he cant do this LITTLE thing for me?? I know some of you out there are like "well guys dont like to get checked up on… blah blah" But it isn't just that. The last time we talked about changing things, I asked him to change something else significantly small for me. Sometimes hell tell me something but I didnt understand or hear so i ask him what he said and hell be like nothing, and im like "no tell me" "no it isnt important". Usually it isnt a big deal, but I HATE that. Like, just say it!! So he told me that was something HE wanted changed, for me just not ask…but im like, screw it, im changing enough. How about YOU change it?? SO I tell him when i ask, just tell me so I wont nag him. What does he do? "No.. just dont ask I dont like repeating it. Sorry." Like what the hell?!! You expect to change all this crap for you but you cant change these little things for me?? AFTER he wrote in the letter "If theres anything I need to change just tell me ok?" And all i get are "no's"?? YEAH there is something you need to change, stop being so effing selfish!! I'm sorry if I sound cocky or something but I've changed much more than my share for him. I'm not even sure I'm actually happy with who i am anymore cause Ive changed so much to make him happy. Yet here he is… cant change two little things.

So anyway… on the way home I wrote a text in my phone saying that we're not together cause he obviously hasn't learned comprimise. Soo….yet again…we are broken up =/ I know I sound all "mela-dramatic" But I have changed alot for him and he's pretty much remained himself the entire time… i'm sick of it. Like..i'm not his little doll to adjust for his pleasure… this relationship isn't just for him… not to mkae HIM happy. To make US happy. He obviously doesn't get that yet. And if he doesnt? Like…at all…well then…guess im back to being completely single again.

Sorry that was so long >.< didn't mean for it too….. oh and aparently my keyboards still angry. Started going stupid on me again… haha coinsidently at the same time as mmbrains… anyway yeah. Moof.