Below is a random poem I thought I'd post to get feedback on. Honest and harsh criticism is welcome. I might use it for an end-of-year-project. And oh yeah, its kind of graphic, so just warning all you 14-something year-olds who may need to hold someone's hand while reading it. =)
War:I turn men to miceInfect you with disease; your hair full of liceI’ve been here since the beginningAnd I’ll be here till the endBroken nations, broken cities, broken hearts peace can’t mendSo I’ll extend my hand and lendYou a tank, a gun, a bomb to use against each other Many a times I’ve caused men to spill their blood brothersGash them over the headPuncture their body’s leave ‘em deadArise to accept a million pains, many more tears to shedI’ve never laid a finger on anyone, but I’ve painted the sky redA magazine to load, grudges to holdTo me your soul is soldAnd once again you arise on the front lines boldSome say I’m necessary, can’t be ignoredFools runnin’ by the thousands in hoardsWhy do they not fear their lord?The best feelings are expressed through anger and sadnessThat is why the human cannot stop this madnessIndeed you already know meSome refer to me as WarI produced countless bodies on Normandy’s shoreLeft whole cities devastated; a celebration of goreBullets, knives, explosions, weapons galoreI’m yours to exploreAll you must do is lose your reason and mindOne day sooner or later I’ll cleanse the earth of human kind
Emo
MEAN POST!
wow, that's extremely good
Not bad, I write a bit of poetry myself. Nothing I have the guts to post at the moment, but you have a bit of talent. It's a little raw and undeveloped though. You need to focus on fine tuning your own style and flow. It's definitely not bad though. Keep it up. If you have more I'd love to read.
Another MEAN POST
I love that poem. I don't know why, but I love it. It's true, we are killing ourselves.
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I love this. You're better than Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman and all those poets considered to be "famous".
haha…no, not even close. but thanks anyway. XD