It's tonight!
What with the fancy dress and dance music and the punch and the decorations, that surely are all meant to secure some amount of nostalgia in your impending future of depression and unemployment?When I ask most adults about their high school experiences, about 20% of their entire story is usually about this one 0.025% of their entire time in high school.And why wouldn't it?I mean, if you're going to party with so many of your friends and classmates and are statistically equally likely to get laid on that night as the rest of the year, what's not to love?Except for the fact that I'm not going.It's a shame, really. Although I totally wanted to be that one eyesore wearing a t-shirt with cutoffs because I couldn't afford any more than the size 16 dress shoes.At least there's plenty of afterparties that I can rock tonight, such as that of my ex-girlfriend. Prom here only ends at midnight, after all!I'll be sure to go next year, it'll be my last chance. Part of me has always wanted to go, boyfriend-less, to a fancy school-sanctioned event and chug fruit punch vodka.
I wasn't going to go to mine (it's on the.. 12th?) but my friends kept bugging me to go and now I have someone to go with, so I'm looking forward to it.
See? One guy is going and says he's looking forward to it.
Must… resist… implementing a filter that switches the words prom and porn.
Actually, most of us didn't. I went and it was okay. It just wasn't a big deal.
Oh, I should mention that I did not want to go, and also that it sucked, and also that I rode in a limo, and also that we slept out on a field, and also that the guy who was our ride home went into a fugue state of rage and smashed the mirror on his car, and I kept standing between him and his car so he wouldn't destroy the rest, and the cops came and took him away.
You see, that afterparty was much more entertaining than prom might have been.People stumbling over each other playing Just Dance and me vocalizing and drumming in Rock Band at the same time and cantaloupe chunk fights where more than one ended up in the bra of their dresses and lots of risqué gay jokes regarding me and my ex's new boyfriend?Yes please.I could have gone without one thing:I hate you all