Fuckin McDonalds Like A Dream

by Charlie Allen

(An idea for an Arcade Game)

In the morning you awake to find the smear on your face. Like a bad luck game. You jump from the bed and realize you have left your shoes somewhere that you don't know. Rubbing some chips on your face you proceed with great haste to the bathroom to take a massive shit. The bathroom is ice cold, and you sit on the toilet shivering. For some reason the images of a particular black man keep flashing in your mind. "Is it the Big Mac again?" you wonder. You remember the mayonaise not tasting right. Like squirrel shit on a Krispy cracker. Mark, Bob, Jeff, and Andy show up for no fucking reason at all. Like the asshole that he is, Jeff says "Hello". Why? It's not even worth 2 fucking cents when you can't see your feet. Nine fucking years of fries, and shit meat squeezed into taco shells. No… goodbye is more like it cause we're all going to die. "Where's my pizza"? You ask Jeff. "In your fucking garage where else", Jeff states with ultra velocity! Jeff benches 772 and eats McDonalds like a HERO.