So you're probably checking the 'Digits (That's what they call it around these parts. The 'Digits.) and thinking to yourself "Man, I've never actually been a clam digger (not dugger; then you'd have like 20 kids) but if I were I'd be awesome. WELL THINK AGAIN
http://www.64digits.com/games/index.php?cmd=view_game&id=5813CLAM DIGGER SUPER VERSION ONLY FOR THE MICROSOFT PERSONAL CONSOLEClam Digger (TM (R (C))) is a game about YOU and how YOU SUCK at CLAM DIGGING (and also everything else). In this REAL TIME STRATEGY CLAM DIGGING GAME you DIG CLAMS HARD using your BUCKET and SHOVEL to DIG and CONTAIN the clams (but not necessarily in that order). BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Tyrone calls you up. And he says, YOU FAIL AT EVERYTHING YOU DO and you're all like "NO TYRONE YOU FAIL AT EVERYTHING YOU DO" and then you go cry in your room a while because you realize he's right while he is unaltered by your comment and drives your girlfriend and three other girls around in his BRAND NEW SPORTSCAR he bought with his clam digging earnings. But after all that you finally strap on your dad's big boy jeans AND YOU DRIVE THE HECK DOWN TO THAT BEACH (which has not been referenced in this blog-post until this point; hence the demonstrative pronoun "THAT" is misleading) and you DIG CLAMS HARD all the while trying to avoid VENOMOUS CRABS and MAN-EATING SEAGULLS all the while trying to win just an ounce of respect that your girlfriend has for that hunk of a man TYRONE. Now some of you may have downloaded this game already. And you may be like "Hey Karl Barth (I mean TotaliterAliter heh heh heh (that's a joke, son)) I downloaded your stupid game already and it gives me an error because the highscores don't work. WELL GUESS WHAT THAT'S BEEN FIXED ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? Probably not. But clam digging isn't a business about happiness, Sally. It's a business about d'ing the c's (digging the clams). So put your clam digging pants back on and get out there!
Stop digging up your nose and start digging for the clams
Posted by TotaliterAliter on July 5, 2014, 8:26 p.m.
Comments
I actually played this back when it was accepted and while I didn't get past the driving section, I found it refreshingly light-hearted and humorous. Even just how you describe the game.
I was partial toward all the art though, which seems to be some fusion of Pokemon, Earthbound, and something else I'm not sure of.That's one crooked highway, though.Last time I checked I was a robot who ate spam (or do you mean a robot made of spam? I think you'd be wondering whether I was a spamdroid in that case).
*edit*Thank you very much, Kilin! That's because it is a fusion of Pokemon, Earthbound, and something else you're not sure of (Harvest Moon SNES (good game btw) for graphics and Magic Knight Rayearth GB for music ). We do have a company working on that road, however. But as I have only lived in Mississippi and Louisiana, that has actually been an accurate display of most roads I've seen in my life.I believe I remember this from Game Maker Games
I definitely remember this from GMG. Holy cow this brings back memories.