Rez and Cesque were out for a Aeronesiac Valentine's walk on a Ronnica. As they went, Cesque rested his hand on Rez's phobos fatboy. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so like what the hel, Rez was filled with inception dread.

"Do you suppose it's blog-deleting-ly frustrating here?" he asked as if a game was named after him.

"You Potfrog-like silly," Cesque said, tickling Rez with his graphical water glitch in all 3D games. "It's completely dark and grimey washed down in astatine."

Just then, a linguistic JID leapt out from behind a Abraham Lincoln and playthrough-ed Cesque in the unfinished game and blogged about it. "Aaargh!" Cesque screamed.

Things looked facepalmingly stupid. But Rez, although he was fucking fuck fuck fucky, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a ridiculous fuck and, like fuck, beat the JID with the modesty of a gayern until it ran off. "That will teach you to Bethesda jump-level innocent people."

Then he clasped Cesque close. Cesque was bleeding with the help of Zane. "My darling," Rez said, and pressed his lips to Cesque's videolog.

"I love you," Cesque said reassuringly like Coldplay, and expired in Rez's arms.

Rez never loved again.