I want to live. Sometimes life seems boring. I started to feel this way occasionally when I was about twelve. I remember thinking that poetry and music were exaggerated reflections on life. I recently heard a quote that was something along the lines of, "symbols are more meaningful than the things they represent" and it's sort of like that. I also try to think a lot about the psychology behind things. I try to look at things from every possible perspective, at least in words if not in heart.
But sometimes I worry that if I lose my detached perspective and get caught up in the moment and just try to have fun, I will lose my objectivity and will not have the ability in future to think originally. I also feel that way about my religion. Part of me wants to surrender to Christ, but part of me sees the flaws in logic and examines my real motives behind it. Do I just want to please the Christians I admire? Is it just because I was raised Christian and feel it's the right thing to do? I still consider myself a Christian, albeit a "Christian Agnostic", basically a heretic. I still pray and read my bible out of habit. It is ingrained into my conscience. However I find myself wavering when I am in different situations. I have questions which could challenge peoples faith. I don't want to tear others down any more for the sake of boosting my own ego by making myself feel smart.Science, mathematics, and language, mentally wrapping our man-made definitions around objects and systems. Is science and logic infallible? Real science and logic is. But I find myself wondering if we will someday discover something which changes everything. In the past, some people thought that everything which was to be discovered already had been. What if we discover something amazing? What if we discover something we believe now is complete BS? There are possibilities. I mean, I'm sure if we discovered something truly amazing and completely unique which could not be explained my science as we know it, it could be explained somehow later on.. I don't know what my point is actually. I suppose I have been more open to different things lately. It is absurd that we even exist. What else is possible? I read about a talking donkey in the bible. It is ridiculous and illogical, but I was thinking "why not?!" Amazing. My mind can't fathom it. For all we know, we could be some cruel alien experiment. With or without God, our existence is absurd. Perhaps some discoveries are not possible to explain in our human languages, maybe we're unable to transcend to a higher level of thought. I started to be interested in lojban, because of that, I found out about the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis: "the structure of a language constrains the thinking of people using that language." Probably true. I was thinking of just writing my thoughts down, then going and having fun, just having a remnant of that period of my life from when I had no life. All that really matters is how we living creatures feel. If the world was in ruins and we were going to die and believed lies but every conscious being was positively happy, then good. But I still want to know things. Even if I won't care in the future, I care now, but why? What will I miss out on? I won't be completely stupid, I will just be different to what I perceived my "true" self as being. It's not like I will miss out on discovering or making something amazing. I am confused. Some people are not caught up in this searching for meaning thing, they just live, good for them. They're not stupid, in fact they are probably smarter than me in lots of ways. But maybe I have high standards for myself.
http://digg.com/d1nxE6
Okay
Division by zero is undefined, and yet we keep the maths system. Everything's flawed really. Guess you've just gotta go with the flaws that fit in with yours.
Gah, I tend to solve such issues - nowadays at least - by rejecting the idea of absolute objectivity, and instead thinking in terms of frameworks. In the framework of logic, there can be absolute truth and untruth, but in a framework of, say, quantum mechanics, the concept goes bananas.
Lojban is fun (and rather crazy, too), so keep learning that ;) And talking about Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, you may be interested in the Piraha people.I can relate to this dilemma; I guess my problem is that I am, or have become in the last couple of years, a person of high (sometimes, I think, ridiculously so) standards, and I wonder if my absolutism and critical nature are just getting in the way of my happiness. But even if they are… I don't know how I would let them go. I have become so obsessed with examining and analyzing my life that I don't think I could ever go back to not doing so, even if I would be happier that way.
And yes, I think that language constrains thinking, in a way, or at least it reflects the bias of a culture… like, I remember reading about how certain Inuit (or, I think it was Inuit) tribal languages have such an enormously strong system of filial piety that they do not even have a word for "disobedience" - thus the thought is kept out of their minds, in a way. But language is also a necessary thing, of course. At least if you consider communication between people to be important; if not, I guess it doesn't matter.I suppose you are right, hel, or whatever I should call you.
Jabberwock, I feel the same way. Except I know I probably could be a bit happier, yet I am reluctant to leave the state I am in now. To choose knowledge over blissful ignorance.. Though I am really not extremely intelligent, I hate thinking how there are other ways of thinking and something amazing, there are always new things to discover, and because of that I do not want to lapse into a shallow, lazy state of mind. I don't know, I try to examine my motives.. Do I really just want to look smart to make up for my fauilure to be "cool" and my lack of real social life? Forgive me, I am tired and want to go home.. Also, language matters not just for communicating with others but for clarifying things for yourself..