Everybody else gets a turn, so why not me?
Hello, everyone, my name is Shaquille Stoutamire. I'm 18 years old and happily married. But I'm essentially a screw up.I would say that I am a person of slightly above average intelligence. I score pretty high on general placement tests. I got a 29 on ACT first time, but I know that I could have gotten a 32 at least if I would have taken it again. I got something like a 91 on my ASVAB, the military competency test. I know the basic ideas of programming and could learn new languages fairly quickly if I put my mind to it. I believe I have some great potential as an artist, but I never draw or paint. I just plan to and forget about it. When I do draw, I like it, but there is tons of room for improvement.Honestly, I feel as if I could LITERALLY do anything I wanted on this earth. I am intelligent and skilled enough to learn and do anything I set my mind to. I could learn to be a great composer/athlete/professor.Now, onto the screw up part: I am a lazy, apathetic waste of space that has just put my future in jeopardy because I can't muster up the ability to remember to do and turn in assignments. I hate myself for this. It's been this way ever since I was a little kid, and I feel like I'm ruining my solid future. I know that I could make some great games if I just set myself to doing so. I'm already screwing up with CAMD because even though I'm making strides in the idea process, I'm not doing it fast enough. I feel like such a loser sometimes.I'm venting here because even though I know I can talk to my wife, she pretty much knows all of these problems and I kind of have to keep a happy face on because I don't want her to worry.I just needed to let this out, and I understand that at least a few of you are going to judge me and tell me that I'm wrong and I just need to get my act together… and I'm trying.I just feel like I'm not the "student" type. I feel like I learn at a faster rate than I'm being taught and it kills me.I feel like I don't function like the rest of society.I feel trapped.I don't know. I guess I'm done whining about my bullshit problems.
Honestly, Steven, I'm purely a student because it will help me get a job in the future. It's something solid.
If it wouldn't jeopardize the safety of my wife, and sometime in the future children as well, I would definitely drop out and just get a job and work on games until THEY are the solid thing that I can depend on.But I just can't risk that now.I think that if Abbey get's pregnant while we're in college, I might drop out instead of her and just work part time and take care of the baby.Duuuuuuude, don't have a baby during college. D:
My parents had me during their college years and it's caused all kinds anonymity.(My parents where also not married when they made me. :P )What do you mean anonymity?
I meant to say animosity.
:PI feel like I'm the only person that hasn't yet posted a depressing blog. Regardless, we all need to vent sometimes and 64Digits is a more appropriated community for such an occasion, I suppose. While I encourage you to stay in school and tough it out, because you CAN make it, not everyone is right for college and they have to find out what they're best at on their own. In some… OK, most cases they'll fail and end up going back to college. You'll figure something out, and certainly won't be alone on the journey.
P.S. If you score 91 on the ASVAB, why didn't you go into active forces?Also, in your custom CSS, please add this to #header: background: transparent;There is no advice for this.
Until something lights that fire inside you or the impending doom of unrealized aptitude grabs you, this won't change. If you're anything like me, motivation doesn't come easy because you're too smart to have your head in the clouds about some things. And that's good, it makes you stronger and more appreciative of success. But realize this: you gotta keep an ember for when something does catch fire. So push yourself ever so slightly and that day will come quicker. My nonexistent advice for this is to make more art and take the needed breaks more unabashedly.:|