I read that, and I thought this was going to be a sarcastic blog. No offense, but "Shaquille Stoutamire" sounds like a made up name.

I'm sure that someone somewhere has told you that the data on young marriages surviving is very slim, and you're already married, so I'll be quiet about that.

BUT, for the love of all fuck, DO NOT HAVE A KID AT 18. Not just because "oh, it will ruin your life, and blah blah blah", but because it will BE BAD FOR YOUR KID. Look how Juurian turned out!

In seriousness though, you should be at a point in your life where you are solid, and you can put all your attention and focus into your child. On top of that, if you have a child now, and god forbid you and your wife seperate in the next few years (I'm just going by statistics here, I'm not saying you will), I'm sure that'll be great for the child. Or, what if you have a child, and you fall out of love, and just try to keep it together on behalf of the child? Kids pick up on that, and that's also unhealthy for the child.

You should read a book called "The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog", which is a book written by a psychiatrist, with 10 stories/case studies that help explain the neurological biology of a developing child's brain in a very interesting and easy to understand way. It emphasises just how much the brain's development is affected by its environment.

I don't mean to be a lecturing downer, but hearing people, especially young people, casually talk about having children like that, is terrifying. It's a human life, that you are fully responsible in almost every way possible, for both its present survival, and its future, and is not something that should be taken lightly. It's a full time task, requiring your full attention, and caring for the child is not something that you should cram into your schedule along side school, work, and trying to pay the bills.

…Now that that's out of the way, I can relate to a lot of the blog. I haven't even finished highschool. =/

Except, I don't think I can do "anything". I have a very very very limited range of talent, but I don't do much with it.

I have no advice on how to better your life and mood, but hopefully writing a couple paragraphs about not having a kid will help keep your life from getting worse, and possibly making a child's life bad (compared to what the child has the potential to be in an optimal environment).

A child isn't a casual decision, and neither was getting married.

Honestly, I would rather wait until I was 25 with a solid, dependable future. I'm just saying that when you're married, you do married things, and a child is ALWAYS a possibility.

I'm slightly offended that you took it that way, but it's not a big deal.

Edit: Almost NO CHILDREN THAT WERE EVER BORN EVER were a planned decision. You have to anticipate these things before they happen. I will start trying to have a child when I graduate and have a stable income, but I will start preparing myself mentally NOW so that I don't DIE if Abbey comes home and tells me I'm going to be a father. :P

Edit2: Also, thanks everybody. I feel a lot better today. I still have some issues, but I've been talking to my wife and I feel a lot more positive about everything.

I used to be this way. Not arsed at all to complete works, but then I finished my basics and am taking basically only my major's classes and OH MY GOD I LOVE IT.

It's not just that I feel an obligation to finish my homework but I just really enjoy it in the first place so I do my homework out of personal satisfaction over a need to. And that has really helped a lot in my studies, going from a B-C student to a pure A student now that I'm only taking my major's classes. And I fucking love it.

And for fuck's sake dude, you're 18. A waste of space? Jesus fuck. You know what taught me just how young I am? Seeing 30+ year olds who have spent their entire lives since they either dropped out of college or finished high school just working in order to afford college to better themselves. Not to make something out of their lives, but to BETTER it. And that's the most incredibly inspiring thing I've ever really seen.

I didn't mean it to be offensive, and I appologize if it was, or if it sounded like I was attacking you personally (after re-reading my comment, it sounds like I am =/). I just want to drive home the fact that kids aren't something you should accidentally have.

Having a child should be a possibility in the same way that driving your car into incoming traffic should be a possibility. Birth control is 99.97% effective if taken properly, and and if you use condoms instead, and something goes wrong, you can take the morning after pill.

At least you're not one of those people who WANT a kid at 18. =D

I still recomend you read that book anyway, since you're married now, and having a family is in your future.

Also, what was that screwing up with CAMD part? Is that Chiken?

What can I say? It all sounds awfully familiar.

Also, I love what happens to people's avatars in the comments to this blog.

Chiken wants to make a game and Acid is like the creative lead and I am like the musician.

I moderately deal with the whole "waste of space" thing everyday. But like RS said, you're 18 - you don't even occupy a space to begin with yet. One of the things you may want to try is to change your routine.

If you feel yourself getting sucked into a slump of some sort- make a change.

School's hard. That's why it's such an accomplishment. But even so, education is growing gradually more worthless these days. You need a bachelor's where an associate's used to be enough, and a master's instead of a bachelor's.

Now? People like experience. And networking will get you far. Because out of the three (education, networking, and experience), you only need two. If you can figure out how to start and get your foot in the door, I think you'll find success finding other jobs, too.

And if that looks hopeless, just go indie for a while. With Steam and other resources, as well as the recent boom in indie games, you can make a bit of a name for yourself, if not a little money. Additionally, it helps you create a portfolio, which, if you plan on going into the game design field, is extremely valuable.

I'm sure you'll be on your feet soon enough. Just make a plan for yourself, and as others have advised, try not to have a kid too early.

Yeah, but on the other side, my parents had me at 30/34 and look at how I turned out…

There are no guarantees.

Thanks guys. It really feels good to have a place to vent and people to give me some reassurance.

I'm actually not doing TOO bad on the iOS game with CAMD/chiken, I just have a bunch of ideas with no art. But I've been super busy and kind of sick lately… though I hate using excuses because it's crap anyway. I need to push myself and get it done… But I really do wish I could get better soon because these headaches and dizzyness are killing me.