Time for my depressing blog :D

Posted by Acid on March 20, 2012, 10:41 a.m.

Everybody else gets a turn, so why not me?

Hello, everyone, my name is Shaquille Stoutamire. I'm 18 years old and happily married. But I'm essentially a screw up.

I would say that I am a person of slightly above average intelligence. I score pretty high on general placement tests. I got a 29 on ACT first time, but I know that I could have gotten a 32 at least if I would have taken it again. I got something like a 91 on my ASVAB, the military competency test. I know the basic ideas of programming and could learn new languages fairly quickly if I put my mind to it. I believe I have some great potential as an artist, but I never draw or paint. I just plan to and forget about it. When I do draw, I like it, but there is tons of room for improvement.

Honestly, I feel as if I could LITERALLY do anything I wanted on this earth. I am intelligent and skilled enough to learn and do anything I set my mind to. I could learn to be a great composer/athlete/professor.

Now, onto the screw up part: I am a lazy, apathetic waste of space that has just put my future in jeopardy because I can't muster up the ability to remember to do and turn in assignments. I hate myself for this. It's been this way ever since I was a little kid, and I feel like I'm ruining my solid future. I know that I could make some great games if I just set myself to doing so. I'm already screwing up with CAMD because even though I'm making strides in the idea process, I'm not doing it fast enough. I feel like such a loser sometimes.

I'm venting here because even though I know I can talk to my wife, she pretty much knows all of these problems and I kind of have to keep a happy face on because I don't want her to worry.

I just needed to let this out, and I understand that at least a few of you are going to judge me and tell me that I'm wrong and I just need to get my act together… and I'm trying.

I just feel like I'm not the "student" type. I feel like I learn at a faster rate than I'm being taught and it kills me.

I feel like I don't function like the rest of society.

I feel trapped.

I don't know. I guess I'm done whining about my bullshit problems.

Comments

pounce4evur 12 years, 7 months ago

I think that your problem gives you a lot more freedom than anything else. I mean really, you have the ability to adjust and do whatever the hell you want. That is so fucking cool! I wish I could do that. It seems to me that you're a very well-rounded person, being able to pick up almost anything and do something awesome with it.

P.S. Don't feel so bad about not being the "student type," because guess what? You're not going to be a student all your life! :D

poultry 12 years, 7 months ago

Whars my grafix at? D=

Acid 12 years, 7 months ago

I actually have some sketches of the background tiles (grass/dirt) but I've been sick and lazy and haven't made them final yet. I have also TRIED to make some bullies, but they suck, so I'm not going to show you those.

Since I haven't given you anything for like two weeks, I'm going to just man up and finish what I have on my hands now. :P

Also, @pounce: That last bit makes me feel a bit better, but I still feel like "getting a degree" is looming over me.

pounce4evur 12 years, 7 months ago

To be honest, it's looming over me, too. But a degree is just a piece of paper that says you passed the classes they gave you and came out alive. You're not going to come out knowing every single bit of knowledge the professors throw at you, you're just going to take that degree and whatever things you liked or thought were useful. I don't think I know a single person (well ok, maybe one) who is entirely focused and committed to one subject. Hell, I'm not one of those people either. I don't know if I want to be a marine biologist or a writer or a band director or a fucking lawyer, and I don't think I will until way later on in life. But, it's never too late. Anyway, you don't learn solely to receive that one piece of paper, you learn so that you can pick up the skills that you really want. Don't be afraid to explore things just for the sake of getting a degree.