Can I Make a Depression Blog?

Posted by Castypher on March 22, 2012, 9:19 p.m.

Sure is slow on 64D.

Anyway, not jumping into some fad or anything. You may not be happy to see a guy like me joining in on something like this, especially someone who (I personally think) is rather easygoing and laid back about things. But I assure you what I have isn't nearly as bad as some other people. I've just got some things on my mind (or lack thereof) and don't get to vent much.

First of all, I've been easily irritated lately. At little things. I suppose that was a bad time to buy Dark Souls, and to start playing the DotA beta.

The good news is, I'm postponing Dark Souls. The bad news is, it's because my stupid fucking brothers broke the AV cable jack (both the cable AND the TV) in the short hours I was gone.

I also really dislike DotA 2. Despite having played League of Legends for two years, DotA's learning curve is ridiculously high, and the game feels too similar yet too different from what I'm used to. I don't like how it plays. Call me simple-minded. And if I can't even play a League of Legends normal game because of idiot players, I'm not going to look like a fool on a new game and be tormented by those too.

Regardless, I'll play it a bit more. It would really be fun if I, you know, had someone to play it with and teach me a bit.

Anyway, this whole wave of depression hit shortly after I finished that story of mine. What can I say? It was a lot of fun. It was really the most fun thing I've done in a long time, and the fact that it's over just pains me. I've tried writing another book, but it's just not the same. I have to wait until the people I've sent it to finish it before I can even go back to look at it, so I don't feel too inclined to make changes until I'm ready for them.

I actually think it was two days ago. Maybe three. I've got a buddy who I listen to and help with no complaints, whether or not I actually like his work. His game ideas? Sure I help. All the time. Even if I'm not interested, I'll make myself interested. But when I ask for a little help for myself, it's discarded. Well that sure made me feel like shit. And I think that's why I'm going through a massive decline in productivity.

It's very likely I won't finish this competition either. I've got a great base as far as functionality goes. But I lack the focus and inspiration to continue further. This was a fun idea, but in order for me to really go through with something, my heart needs to be in it and quite frankly, this competition didn't give that chance.

If I could focus, I'd be working on Terminys right now.

*sigh*

Guess I'll open up the novel and see if I can't get in the mood. Aside from that, thanks for listening. I don't vent often, so if this pissed you off, great. You'll know that. And if not, thanks for the support.

I did, however, read a very heartwarming and inspiring thing, an interview with the creator of the Mother series on the third entry. Seeing some of his thoughts behind that brilliant game made me want to steer Terminys back in that direction. The one of awkwardness, bizarreness, and comedy. Because as of right now, it's very story-based. Soon enough I'll find out what works.

Once I get a graphics designer, I'll increase the window size, too.

Comments

firestormx 12 years, 7 months ago

Screw you, Kilin, you can't make such a blog. We hate you. It's not that we're not happy to see someone like you joining in on the fad because you're laid back, but rather we're not happy to see someone like you joining in on the fad because we don't like you. >:(

…I didn't actually mean any of that. I'm just trying to justify why you think I'm an asshole, when I've been nothing but amazingly great to you. :(

What you need, is to give us the link to your story.

JuurianChi 12 years, 7 months ago

It's cool dude.

All of this Spring weather has us all down in the dumps and such.

Castypher 12 years, 7 months ago

Ahh, FSX has just what I need. Playful trolling.

I don't really think you're an asshole, man. I rather enjoy your prodding. It's nice to be able to joke around with other members. In the past we couldn't do this because people were 14 and volatile. One little comment would set people off into flamewars. Besides, I'm an ass myself. I like to prod too. Just ask Purianite.

I'd love to have some more support on my writing and have you guys look over it. And it's nice that you'd suggest it. But I'm having some personal debates too. Like whether I want you guys to see it in its early, imperfect stages or one that I've revised. Honestly I didn't expect this much support. I thought people were going to say "cool" and become immediately disinterested. And I understand, really. It's quite the task to request.

Plus, everyone's an attention whore and I'm no exception. I love feedback.

firestormx 12 years, 7 months ago

Quote:
whether I want you guys to see it in its early, imperfect stages or one that I've revised
That's a good point. We'll read it once (if that), critique it, and then not bother to read it a second time once it's finished. XD

And I'm glad you don't actually think I'm an asshole. It really did make me sad. I don't want you to hate me, just because of everything I did to you. :(

Edit: And I always thought we were able to make fun of each other. We were a community of respectful people, but the only time flame wars really broke out was because of actual arguments, and not 'cause someone made a joke.

Castypher 12 years, 7 months ago

Yeah, the people I need are dedicated readers. But varied input from you guys here would be awesome too.

And if I did really dislike you, I wouldn't have done any prodding myself. My form of sarcasm is a bit different, I guess. Not to mention the fact that sarcasm and the internet don't work well together.

@edit: I just remember there being a few misunderstandings. We have a lot less of those lately, like we've learned to tolerate each other better.

firestormx 12 years, 7 months ago

You're a totally cool guy Kilin.

Castypher 12 years, 7 months ago

You're a jackass, FSX.

firestormx 12 years, 7 months ago

Yeah, it is kind of hard to convey sarcasm on the internet. :(

Also, I wouldn't really care if you were being sarcastic. If you weren't, I'd try and be nicer. If you were, I'd continue to be an ass to you.

JuurianChi 12 years, 7 months ago

Quote:
In the past we couldn't do this because people were 14 and volatile.
We have come a long way since those days.

:I

Quote:
Yeah, the people I need are dedicated readers. But varied input from you guys here would be awesome too.
I'm going to be straight with you right now.

It needs to be 5% more cooler.

Quote:
Also, I wouldn't really care if you were being sarcastic. If you weren't, I'd try and be nicer.
How nice of you.

Castypher 12 years, 7 months ago

Hey man, if you don't like the genre, nothing I can do. My form of supernatural really falls into the category of modern fantasy. Hate to say I still write fantasy but at least it's not elves and dragons and vampires and werewolves, oh-my.

And you being an ass ensures that our relationship is a unique one.